New member - confused! - Pain Management Message Board

09-24-2003, 06:33 AM

I have been reading these posts for approximately two weeks now, and finally decided to join in. I'm very afraid. Here's the problem: I have had a problem with Vicodin 7 years ago. I believed that I had done everything that I was supposed to do, from admitting I had a problem, to going to meetings, and from abstaining from all substances. Since then, however, I have had a myriad of physical problems, 12 surgeries on various joints, bones, and still counting. My most recent surgery was a cervical spine one in which I needed the plate and screws that had been previously implanted taken out - the titanium plate broke without any kind of provication (sp?). It seemed that after each surgery, I would get the usual narcotic medications, and also get off of them (sometimes easier than other times). Last month, I finally went to a PM doc and found out that there are people out there who were suffering as much as I had been. He put me on Kadian 20 mg 2x day, Vicodin for BT, and Gabitril. The Kadian constipated me so badly and at my next apptment, put me on Duragesic patch. That was the worst! I called him and he told me to take the patch off (I had only been on my 2nd one) and to go back to the Kadian, which I did. I did feel much better, but noticed that the Vicodin (no matter how many I took) did not work at all anymore. He then put me on the Actiq lollipops 400 and then upped it to 800. They are extremely addictive, however, I have not taken anymore than prescribed and they work great for my pain. My question finally, is that I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. I've been through WD's and have been in trouble with the law concerning my addiction to Vicodin 7 years ago. Everytime I go into the pharmacy to get my legitimate medication, I feel like a criminal. Should I just accapt the fact that I will have pain the rest of my life and get off of this stuff, or allow myself to knowingly get physically dependent on narcotics and trust that my PM doc will taper me off as necessary when the time comes? I'm very confused. Help!

Karine · 09-24-2003, 08:04 AM

Hi and welcome to the board. I am not sure how to start this so I will just jump in here. I suffered for 3 1/2 years with chronic pain and was ready to die if I did not get any help. I thank god for my meds and my doc. You called your doc and told him about your past. You really need to let the past go if you need to cotrol the chronic pain. I had docs walk out on me in the ER because he did not believe me but thought I was a med seeker.
Trust your MP doc and let him treat you.
Good luck and happy you finally wrote us. We are here for you anytime.
Kari

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Chronic pain from Tendentious in right elbow 1996, left elbow 1998, shoulder pain within that time, neck pain the hole time.
My job at Safeway ended in Jan of 99, they said due to lack of work for me. They could not make a job for me, so I was on my own. No Insurance, no money, no hope. I have used everything from expensive ointments to magnets nothing would help.
Docs would not give pain meds because they are additive even though I was in chronic pain. Could not take the pain anymore Jan. 2003. No work no money the pain just kept getting worse.
I was very depressed and ready to step infront of a big truck to run me over. I really gave up on any hope to control the pain til a freind took me by the hand to help me get the help I needed.
Was told by welfare to run up $2500. in ER bills to get covarage for myself, so that is where the help started, now I had to find a doc who would listen that is not easy, ER docs will not just give out pain meds, "med addicts". But got lucky found on doc in the ER that did listen and gave me hope and would see me.
I suggest to anyone out there look for the younger docs that will help for chronic pain.
Found out through MRI's I have degenerative arthritis in my neck, shoulders and arms on both sides. Nerve damage in right arm due to surgery in right elbow. Now am seeing a PM doc whom I do not care for but will see tomorrow about my break through pain.
Have a good pain free day

Kari

whaleylaker · 09-24-2003, 01:11 PM

Hi and welcome! Firstly no one is here to pass any judgements just support. I feel so sorry that you are going through so much suffering. What happened in the past is in the past and all we can ever do is learn. I'm glad you found a Pain Dr. and the meds are helping. Those are quite powerful. If I could offer one piece of advice and that's don't feel guilty and quit them all at once. You mentioned that you've stopped meds before these might be harder especially if you c/t. Good luck and take care, Lake P.S. Please don't get discouraged if there are few replies,there's no ryme or reason and not personal it just seems to happen. If you ever need to talk you can always just post Lake and I'll come running.I know it's hard to be new but don't worry you are far from being alone.

09-24-2003, 02:32 PM

Thanks so much Lake! I've seen meds in a "bad" powerful way, and after reading all of your posts, finally realized the power of meds in a "good" way. Since I have been going to this PM doc, I have viewed it all in a different way. I think before I never thought anyone believed me that I was in so much pain, and when that was finally acknowledged by my doc (and you guys), I immensely respect that these meds are life-savers for many people. I have a healthy dose of respect for the medications, my doc, and all of those suffering. It's hard for me to trust a doctor that won't "leave me out to dry" as was previously done to me. I have even discussed this with him, indicating that in the same way he respects me to keep our contract, I also expect that he will do the same, meaning that if the time comes (and I'm hoping it will) that I will need to get off of them, that he will help me in gradually tapering everything off. That is where I have been betrayed before, and by no means is that an excuse, but have gotten myself into trouble. Thanks again for your encouragement, and I look forward to hearing from you again!!

surgicaldisaster · 09-24-2003, 02:44 PM

First, welcome and you should be proud of your candor. Second...you are a legitimate pain patient period. You have been on the other side and now that you are on the side where you truly need them...my guess is that you won't have any trouble, as you are very aware of what could happen. You DERSERVE pain relief and to be treated like a human being. Please try not (I know it's hard....even those of us who have never had any trouble know it's hard!) feel like a crminal when you get your scripts filled....you have a right to them and a life to live! I feel for ya, I really do. BUT, yes, you deserve pain relief. The past does not predict the future....please let us know how you are when you can! Love, Surgical Disaster