Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes
It's great that we all found this site....if anyone in the world understands pain-issues~ WE DO!! And on that topic, nobody in this whole world understands Chronic Pain UNLESS they themselves, have it!!
Recently, a friend of mine herniated a disc in his lumbar region (atheletic, long-time surfer, into more natural types of healing). Well, amongst my friends, I'm known as the back-pain person. Me & him have discussed our back issues/pain issues on several occasions. Currently my friend just hit the one-year mark....with his lumbar pain going from low to high intensity throughout the year.
In November, after feeling close-to pain-free for almost 2 months, he & his wife took a trip to Costa Rica. Since he hadn't surfed all summer because he was recovering, he was really looking-forward to some surf-time in Costa Rica. I was hesitant about the situation because I've been dealing with Chronic Pain for 10 years. But, we each have to live & learn. Apparently, as soon as the 1st wave hit him, he was out of commission for the duration of the trip. With that in-mind, he took my advice to skip surfing this winter to give his back more time to recover.
Anyway, I had a conversation with him about 2 weeks ago, & he said the following in a VERY serious tone: "You know Babs, it's not that I thought you were complaining too much, or that you weren't a strong person,,,,but I had NO IDEA how much pain (esp back pain) can affect a person's life. Everything I do seems affected. Getting dressed, showering, cooking, and even walking OR just sitting here on the couch!! And I only have 1 herniation. No offense to you, Babs. But if I had 12 herniations like you do, I think I might kill myself. Like I said, no offense to you". I responded to him by saying, "One of the 1st things you should know (now that you're in this Chronic Pain family), is that all pain is relative. You should never attempt to 'compare' your pain or injury with another person's. If you say you hurt 10/10, I'm gonna believe you & help you in any way I can. And if you meet someone who is saying that their chronic hang-nail is the worst pain they've ever felt, believe them & try to assist them to get more comfortable. All pain is relative to that particular individual who is experiencing it. It's when we start to compare our pains/injuries that we begin to turn on one another. And like I said, we're ALL in this together....that is, being a person suffering from Chronic Pain." Since NOBODY ELSE UNDERSTANDS US, we should really try & stick-together!!
I thought to share, & was wondering if anyone else has had a friend / family member "all of a sudden" walk in their shoes? What was their response & did you find it extra important to support them (being that we KNOW what CP patients are up against in this world?)
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes
hi babs- i have been in pain since my accident 1/27/2007. it totally changed my life forever i have crush injuries tospine that affect my whole being. while fightinh for ssdi i was accepted into pt asst from purue n thanks to my dr for this got real significant relief. i was acceptedd into the pt asst program last april2010 n won my ssdi 7/16/2010-so i finally got ins=eff 1/1/2011 they sent me a letter saying oxycontin not on formulary n also at this time i was taking the refformulated oxyC n side effect occurance of severe anxiety-so my dr put on OPANA er n sai this rug is twice as strong as the oxyc n also cut down on my bt med which i thought was great-now i got yhe opana in feb-no relief but headaches n feel wierd,spacy=not good at all. the opana does not work and i am scared to complain. i am in terrible pain,
i am so afraid of not having a dr-well i tell you my predicament because i have appt fri with pm-i want off this opana n to stop the uneccessary sufferring=it worsens daily n i dont want to get opana refilled-isnt this reiculous i should just tell him-am so week n no fight in me-friday seems so far awway
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes
BB07, maybe you can try the fentanyl patch. It help most people who have been in car accidents (severe pain caused by damaged ligaments/tendons and muscles add to it herniated/bulging disks).
Babs, it is great you have somebody to talk to about chronic pain. I have nobody. This forum is my home.
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes
What a great response you gave your friend.
My BF has problems on & off & when it flairs she says she does not know how I do it but she admires how I keep going. That was recently & I never knew she felt that way. I have to say it made me feel someone semi understands.
I'm much, much worse in the mornings before I take my meds & run out of ESIs.
I stayed the night not so long ago & I think it shocked her to see just how bad I really am as I don't appear to be in pain much of the time. We learn to hide it well as it becomes a part of our lives 24hrs a day. There is not one minute I'm not in pain so how some way but what do you do, broadcast it.
Your so right there is no way anyone could possibly understand. Your also right about one persons pain being worse then another. The fact we live with everyday & it changes much of our lives is the same. Some can handle it better then others as everyone has their own pain tolerance.
I think my eldest daughter tries hard to understand also. She always comments I don't know how you do it mom & I reply I try very hard not to let pain rule my life. I'm in charge of the pain most days anyway, the pain is not in charge of me. I have to look at it that way or I would not function well.
Its nice you have someone near & dear who gets it. Not that you wish pain on anyone but some days I'd like to have someone here who truly understands.
I have a cyber BF who lives in CP who I can turn to & I thank god for her daily.
I wish you & your friend the best of luck & god bless, Sammy
