It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Pain Management Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-05-2011, 03:56 PM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 204
mombomb HB Usermombomb HB Usermombomb HB User
I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

I havent had much of a relationship with my bio-dad in the last 20 years, but lately we've been reconnecting through emails. I found out that he gets epidural injections regularly for his back. We've talked a bit about my pain problems, but I never told him I go to a PM dr. I invited him to my daughter's wedding last weekend and he asked me how my recent injection went. I told him it didnt work and we chatted about that for a minute. I mentioned that my pain is under control with medication He looked at me like I said I'm a child murderer. Apparently he would NEVER take narcotics for his pain. Sigh. Why do I have to feel like such a bad person because I have pain that requires meds? I'm not weak. I have at least an average, if not, above-average pain tolerance. My pain is just worse than his, obviously. I should've known not to say that, but I could see that he was looking at me like 'well gosh, she doesnt appear to be in pain?' Yeah, I dont walk around crying and grimacing, but thats because of the pills. Goodness knows, I cry ALOT without them. I hate feeling like a weak person because of this. I wish there was some way to make people understand

 
The following 3 users give hugs of support to: mombomb
Fiona_Jo (07-06-2011), janewhite1 (07-05-2011), Whoopee (07-06-2011)
Old 07-05-2011, 04:17 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 47
lobolee HB Userlobolee HB Userlobolee HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by mombomb View Post
I havent had much of a relationship with my bio-dad in the last 20 years, but lately we've been reconnecting through emails. I found out that he gets epidural injections regularly for his back. We've talked a bit about my pain problems, but I never told him I go to a PM dr. I invited him to my daughter's wedding last weekend and he asked me how my recent injection went. I told him it didnt work and we chatted about that for a minute. I mentioned that my pain is under control with medication He looked at me like I said I'm a child murderer. Apparently he would NEVER take narcotics for his pain. Sigh. Why do I have to feel like such a bad person because I have pain that requires meds? I'm not weak. I have at least an average, if not, above-average pain tolerance. My pain is just worse than his, obviously. I should've known not to say that, but I could see that he was looking at me like 'well gosh, she doesnt appear to be in pain?' Yeah, I dont walk around crying and grimacing, but thats because of the pills. Goodness knows, I cry ALOT without them. I hate feeling like a weak person because of this. I wish there was some way to make people understand
Dear mombomb, it is way past time that you have to be concerned with someone else's opinion. It sounds like he is hard to be around and has been that way for "20" years. Please take care of yourself. Only you and your doctor know what is best for you. Your quality of life is your business and not anyone else's. Warm hugs, lobolee

 
The Following User Says Thank You to lobolee For This Useful Post:
mombomb (07-06-2011)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-06-2011, 04:47 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Northern California
Posts: 797
Fiona_Jo HB UserFiona_Jo HB UserFiona_Jo HB UserFiona_Jo HB UserFiona_Jo HB UserFiona_Jo HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

I completely understand what you're saying. I am very reluctant to discuss my pain medications, even with family members I'm closes too. It is very disappointing that it is like this and that we have live with what almost seems like a stigma hanging over us when we are dealing with legitimate health issues, that require pain management. I know many of us are dealing with multiple health issues, have had multiple surgeries and without proper pain management we wouldn't be a able to participate in our daily lives that a proper pain management program has given us. Prior to pain management, even as a relatively young woman, I was living almost a reclusive life and barely functioning, that is no way for anyone to live. I felt so guilty everyday that I wasn't being the best wife and mother that I could be. Effective pain management gave me my life back.

It really bothers me that we with legitimate pain issues are uncomfortable talking about our treatment because of the stigma placed on this narcotic pain medication. All I talk to my parents about are my injections and one of the LA pain medications I am. I think any further discussion would be hard to understand and would worry them. So, I leave my discussions to what I feel they are able to understand. They know the pain I've been in, so they are just happy to see me functioning again and feeling like I have a good portion of my life back and living relatively pain free.

I can relate 100% to what you're going through. I'm so sorry about his reaction. Maybe after he thinks about and realizes how important this is to your ability to live a pain free life - Which we ALL should be entitled to. He will start having a better understanding. He's your parent and he should be happy you're not suffering in pain. Because, that is often the alternative with pain conditions.

~ Fiona Jo
__________________
080807-Cervical-Stim~071707-ACDF-C5-C7 w/instrumentation/bone graft~'07/06 Lumber instrum. removed 05/04-Fusion(DDD/Collapsed Disc L5-S1)08/99-Microdisectomy(Herniated Disc) ~Lupus/EDS,Migraine

Last edited by Fiona_Jo; 07-07-2011 at 08:45 PM.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Fiona_Jo For This Useful Post:
mombomb (07-06-2011)
Old 07-06-2011, 05:35 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Oak Hill, VA
Posts: 3,506
ibake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Mom-
I am sorry that your father has such a narrow view of taking care of pain. He is doing exactly the same thing that you are-managing his pain----except that he is getting it through a needle into his back. You take yours in a pill form that you swallow. Personally, the pills are far preferrable to me-even though I have had both.

You dad is a hypocrite if he thinks that his way is any better than your way. He is using drugs the same way that you are-to control pain. so let it and him go and move on with your life controling your pain as you see fit. You are doing the best you can for your pain and your life. Live it girl-and forget about the negativity...

hugs..........

 
The Following User Says Thank You to ibake&pray For This Useful Post:
mombomb (07-06-2011)
Old 07-06-2011, 10:02 AM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 204
mombomb HB Usermombomb HB Usermombomb HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Thank you all. He IS a difficult person. He has very high standards for others, especially me, and is very judgemental. Growing up, it was all about 'Be tough, dont cry', and that kind of crud. As a kid, I was terrified to show any sign of weakness and I should've known he'd view using the pills that way.
I know people dont/cant understand and I dont know why I thought he, of all people, might.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to mombomb:
Fiona_Jo (07-07-2011)
Old 07-06-2011, 02:40 PM   #6
Facilitator
(female)
 
SpineAZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 5,097
SpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB UserSpineAZ HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

My dad was also amazed that I took them and for so long. I explained that I'm lucky I have no addictive tendencies and that the medications work. I also said that if I told him I took cholesterol meds would it be a bad thing? He said no. I said just as cholesterol meds control my cholesterol the pain meds control my pain. And that I have a great PM doc who is continually checking to be sure I'm on the right track and that they do occasional urinalysis. I did say that some people do abuse prescription pain meds but that does make it harder for those of us in need to be accepted for needing the meds. I was just at a family wedding and have 2 cousins with MS. So we were having one heck of a medication discussion. My 83 yr old dad was there and heard part of it and finally said "I guess sometimes those pain meds are just needed and you 3 seem to be doing okay managing it"
__________________
Rt&Lt thumb arthroplasty 2012 ; RT TKR & Bilat CTS 2011
Fusions: L5-S1 (87), L4-S1 (93), C5-C7 ('06), L3-S1 ('10)
C5-C7 foraminotomy 08

 
Old 07-06-2011, 02:44 PM   #7
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Walterboro, SC USA
Posts: 12
Jwerstler79 HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Hello Mombomb I am really sorry to hear you had this kind of reaction from your father, I also have the same reaction from my family when I mention I take pain medication when my back really gets to hurting. I had discectomy surgery back in April and I was pain free for a month and couple weeks!!! During that time I took absolutely no pain medications and was so happy!! But now I believe I may have RE herniated the disc or dealing with some major scar tissue in the area and back to taking meds You do not have to feel bad for treating your pain with meds because obviously the injections do not work for you and it has been shown they DO NOT work for everyone. Those of us who know the pain you deal with support you and tell you are NOT a bad person! Keep your head up

 
Old 07-06-2011, 03:11 PM   #8
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 47
lobolee HB Userlobolee HB Userlobolee HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpineAZ View Post
My dad was also amazed that I took them and for so long. I explained that I'm lucky I have no addictive tendencies and that the medications work. I also said that if I told him I took cholesterol meds would it be a bad thing? He said no. I said just as cholesterol meds control my cholesterol the pain meds control my pain. And that I have a great PM doc who is continually checking to be sure I'm on the right track and that they do occasional urinalysis. I did say that some people do abuse prescription pain meds but that does make it harder for those of us in need to be accepted for needing the meds. I was just at a family wedding and have 2 cousins with MS. So we were having one heck of a medication discussion. My 83 yr old dad was there and heard part of it and finally said "I guess sometimes those pain meds are just needed and you 3 seem to be doing okay managing it"
YaHoo! Good for you I am so glad your dad came to understand and good for you for standing up and explaining to him in the way that you did. Bunches of hugs, Lee

 
Old 07-06-2011, 03:44 PM   #9
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England
Posts: 499
Madison104 HB UserMadison104 HB UserMadison104 HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Hi mom....I cannot tell you how many times I REGRETTED telling certain people that I "thought" would A, understand or B, that I could trust about my pain management.
I have closed that door now. I just keep it to myself. One friend in particular, during a time that I needed to add muscle relaxers to my regimen because of a bad injury accused me of taking TOO many pills, because I appeared sleeping. I am SURE I did appear sleepy and I WAS sleepy! I forgave her, but I would never EVER share anything that personal with her again!

And as I said, I tell NO-ONE now! This is not about you hun. This is about how another person can or cannot deal with something like educating themselves and trying to understand chronic pain. We are NOT to be judged. We are sick. We all could use a few more ((((HUGS)))) and understanding. I am sending that to you today.
Blessings..
Madison

 
Old 07-07-2011, 01:12 PM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 204
mombomb HB Usermombomb HB Usermombomb HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

So true Madison. I thought I'd learned my lesson about telling people when 2 'friends' called me a drug addict. I decided then and there to never tell anybody again. I blew it.

 
Old 07-08-2011, 01:39 AM   #11
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,070
katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by mombomb View Post
So true Madison. I thought I'd learned my lesson about telling people when 2 'friends' called me a drug addict. I decided then and there to never tell anybody again. I blew it.
You shouldn't have to be scared to tell your own family, your parent no less, your medical conditions and the meds you take for them. You didn't blow it, you did nothing wrong. Next time just tell him your a big girl and it doesn't matter whether he approves or not.

 
Old 07-16-2011, 03:21 PM   #12
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: limbo
Posts: 25
sikofit HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

I understand all too well mom! I'm a very open person and telling the truth / telling it like how it is an automatic with me so my pain management is no secret to the people around me but to top it off pain is always something I try to hide automatically too so some people just plain don't understand and give me allot of grief. my father is one of them too, we haven't spoken in over 3 mos now and while im 25 now family has always a huge part of my life.. and I miss them all allot.
what are you going to do though? I know I'm just trying to survive

Last edited by sikofit; 07-16-2011 at 03:22 PM.

 
Old 07-17-2011, 04:53 AM   #13
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 3
ttav HB User
Re: I made the mistake of telling my dad I take pain pills :(

I understand wholeheartedly what you are going through. Unfortunately people tend to turn towards contempt rather than compassion for injured people like ourselves. The LAST thing you have to do is let people make you feel like crap. Although even significant others will sometimes not understand what you are going through, many of us on these boards completely understand. If you ever need to vent feel free to PM me. I am well versed in the feelings you have described.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Help! I'm afraid to take Neurontin because of the side effects! mombomb Pain Management 8 10-11-2010 02:32 PM
Pharmacy mistake - question! Odesse Pain Management 6 09-12-2010 02:11 PM
For those who take muscles relaxants - Soma versus Flexeril kim46 Pain Management 10 06-03-2009 06:19 AM
Update On POP an feedback about a mistake my MOM made? PasBabycakes Pain Management 8 06-27-2008 07:04 PM
Very cold here---Bad burning and pinching pain. I can't take anymore!! skych Pain Management 5 04-21-2008 09:35 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



tortoisegirl (159), gmak (156), Shoreline (151), BB07 (92), backhurtz (84), katlin09 (69), Ilovemycutedog (53), galalena (50), jonnstar (35), Isotope (34)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:44 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!