Yes, as far as I know the implant/trial will be done on December 10th. Waiting for instructions from doctors office with more information. Hopefully will have it this week. So time will tell where I am headed. thanks for the prayers.
Hey pebble, Dont you worry about anything. This dr was the first to address your issues from a whole body perspective, right? He wants to send you to hosp for SS in NYC and/ or was it Sloan? Anyway, just wanted to say between your dr & all your research, plus your neurosurgeon approval of this dr doing your procedure; all will be addressed as it comes up & please dont worry or get anxious. Seems the drs want to take care of you very well, taking into account your medical & surgical history, current health problems etc. If you do feel leary or concerned please post as their are many people here, including myself, that truly care & want a great outcome and care about you before, during & after any medical or surgical
intervention. Thank you pebble. gmak
Ps When i was in pain mgmt/neurosurgeons office in houston, it was made very clear that a medtronics rep was present for any surgeries involving their devices & also present for follow up appts such as med changes, med adjustments & post op visits. It could be different elsewhere so i would ask them. And if notified of when these surgs, proc, appts are would that help to ensure their presence?
Last edited by gmak; 11-20-2012 at 03:00 PM.
GMAK's 100% correct on Medtronic rep. being at the hospital during procedure. I had one waiting to intercept my extracted pump. He didn't get it, I told my doc I wanted it as a souvenir (I was really joking!) but he had it sterilized and gave it to me after the surgery. So I decided one of these days I'm going to use it for target practice!!! HEE!HEE!! Anyway, best of luck to you PB!!! We'll be waiting to hear from you on the "other side".
Hi all. First thanks to everyone for your support.
When I had the spinal cord stimulator implanted I know a representative from Medtronic was there during the procedure.
I am assuming that it would be the same procedures. Don't forget that this is only the trial part of the procedure.
Gmak, I would be lying if I were to say that I wasn't worried or anxious. But, it's funny that I am addressing this now. I have been in therapy because of all my health issues and just came back from a session. We discussed the upcoming surgery. This will be surgery #11. I told her that yes I am worried. But with all the surgeries that I had I felt that I was making the right decision in going thru with the surgeries. I also indicated that I truly believed in the mind-body-spiritual connection and believed in preparing myself mentally before the surgery was done.
When I had my pancreatic surgery done I was told there was a chance that I wouldnt make it thru the surgery. But I truly believed that doing the surgery was the right answer and that I would make it thru the surgery.
It is now countdown time to surgery. 13 days I think to surgery. Everything is in place just have to find out arrival time.
I had to get clearance from my kidney doctor. Since I have only 1 kidney and have kidney disease I have to be careful. Especially when contrast is used and contrast while small is used in this procedure. My kidney doctor gave the go ahead for the surgery. All I have to do is stop my aspirin 1 week before the procedure. And I am set to go.
Will post as soon as I get home from the procedure to let everyone know how it went.
Hey pebble, So the date is Dec !0th? I promise, written down promise, that i will be praying for wisdom, peace that surpasses our understanding, grace, mercy, no harm & to watch over your life until I hear your out & all is well. Meanwhile, if anything else post an update. Many people care & are pulling for you here. God be with you, pebble. gmak ps thanks for the update & the dr may have to adjust the medicine & dosage, as Im sure you know & are preparing mentally. So take heart, relief will be found. You are needed here & by your loved ones, remember. Ok, later, gmak
Last edited by gmak; 11-27-2012 at 02:39 PM.
One thing comes to mind I think for those of us that post here need to stick together. We can come in here post our issues; our questions; let out our frustrations etc.
For me I know if I post something I will be understood when I say I am in pain. Too often I talk to people who truly don't understand what we are going thru on a regular basis 24/7. No one understands our physical pain; no one understands our emotional pain.
So we all need to stick together and give each other all the love & support that we can humanly give to one another.
I find I can't talk to people about my issues any longer that haven't walked in my shoes. I am at the point of pushing them away because I know they don't understand; I see the blank looks on their faces.
That is why I feel that I can come here; I can be heard; I can be understood without any fears.
So to all those that have listened and responded I say thank you for the support.
Pebble, I see those glazed over eyes, too. These are the ones that are nice enough not to say outloud "im not listening about your ailments or Im sorry over & over without engaging brain. Its too much for them to even try to grasp a simple concept like feet numb, cant balance. So, clumsy is applied. I know that you know how much it means to me to hear "I know" from a person that does really know. This board, these people are closer to me in many ways. Over the holiday i saw relatives, friends that have wondered for years why i had such severe pain. But one person has been interested in my immediate family about what aa is. One. So i no longer even try. At least we have each other, here. Im grateful. War buddies comes to mind. Thanks pebble. I consider you my friend. gmak
Its like someone I know is constantly asking me whats going on. There have been times I have told him what is going on but other times I really dont feel like talking to him about it. I've told him repeatedly that if I feel like talking I will let him know. I said I dont want people hovering over me. I sometimes need space to think or that alone time without someone bothering me.
I feel this way because I am tired of telling people what is going on and again getting the blank stares or they give advise that while they may mean well it is not the advise I am looking for. Sometimes a friend has to know when to just listen and when to give advise. So after telling him repeatedly that I will tell him if and when I want to talk he emails me again looking for a status report. I think to myself what did I just tell you? I am tired of talking; tired of explaining things. So I finally told him to stop emailing me.
All of a sudden he goes to the Rabbi at my temple and the rabbi emails me. I think what in the world are you doing. Youre getting the rabbi involved in something that has nothing to do with him;leave him out of this; its none of his business either. Why the rabbi got involved I dont know but he admitted to me that he was put in the middle of things.
I finally told this guy that he didnt respect my wishes or our friendship. He didn't know when to back off. I asked him not to email me for status reports. A true friend would know when to listen and when to back off.
I finally told him he lost a friend because he wouldnt back off. There are actually times that I want privacy; there are times when I find that I am not thinking of my health issues and I am taking advantage of the peaceful time and not feeling the stress of what is going on.
There are times when I need time & space to think things out. If I want to share a part of my life then let me be the one to do it; dont keep backing me into a corner looking for information.
Am I making sense as to how sometimes people dont know how to relate to people in chronic pain or some dreaded health issue?
Pebble, Yes, you are making sense. Thats what i use " middle of the night" for, alone time. I was prodded into going to NS when i was blissfully ignorant, by my brother, mom, sons, husb b/c they wanted me fixed. I hate mris, claustrophobe major. Suck it up for them & spend 11/2 hr in tube & multiple hours @ 3 NS office. Find out cant fix-arach. Grim, is mild for what i found out. Not one of these, save my brother will watch a 0:50sec video about AA!! Dont listen even when they inquire whats up or how are you. So, short of hb people NO one has a clue what it is. When i say hurting, dont show up @ my house 20 min later! Or complain about your childs teacher when the phone call started with Im hurting, can i call you back. They just keep on talking. Im sure your friend means well, as mine do. Pebble, there are people in this world that have to experience something before they believe it exists!! Thats what learning & listening are for. Ive stopped trying to explain, just play along. They love me but when i love someone i listen. Sorry, if im ranting just want you to understand that i understand you. Its hard when we have REAL problems to listen to someone talk about the price of groceries! Thank God we all have each other here. That friend of yours probably jumped to conclusions when he thought you were withdrawing from life, panicked & called the rabbi. When you are just so tired of not being understood & have no way to make yourself understood if no one will listen! Im just like i said, listening & doing for them. I come here when i want to be understood. Thank you for sharing eith me. You are facing an opportunity to be better and another surgery. That takes time to
think. So, do what you have to do for yourself to have the best outcome,
ok? I "get it".Dont worry. You're not being unreasonable. You have a valid reason. Even without pain, its your call if a friend wont listen to you, after you have expressed numerous times your wishes. I hope for all of us that loving =caring=listening=understanding. A small thing, but a small miracle if you have pain unending. gmak
This guy really doesnt get it and doubt that he ever will. He is the type that tries to put his nose into the middle of things that are none of his business. He wants to act like a mediator and fix things. Its not for him to get involved in things. Outside of listening he tries to force issues according to what "HIS agenda" is and not what anyone else wants.
Yes maybe he had good intentions but he needs to learn that other people have their own needs and when to approach and when to back off. He couldnt accept that I pushed him away and thus went to the rabbi.
I don't how to describe what I am about to say about the same guy. But we have a mutual friend that went thru some surgery several months ago. The guy that went thru the surgery is usually extremely quiet; doesnt speak much. But he is a real nice guy. He also I just found out has Parkinsons disease. So he walks on the slow side and one of the symptoms is lack of facial expression. Just a brief note the reason I know about Parkinsons is that I was diagnosed with Parkinsons in 1994 and treatef for it until April of 1997 when it was determined I was misdiagnosed.
So anyway the guy that wont listen goes to visit the friend after surgery. He then tells me he went to visit him and he complained that he did all the talking and that "Bernie" the surgery guy just sat there didn't talk and showed no emotions. What got me is 1 is he just went thru surgery and was home recuperating; 2 he has Parkinsons which is another issue and your knocking the guy for not talking and not showing any emotions.
It really struck me that he was being insensitive. Am I making sense in what went on and why I have issues with this guy. And maybe that is the other reason I am pushing him away because I see the way he acts with people and says things behind their backs.
I guess I am frustrated with people and the way they act. Sometimes people just dont learn on how to have compassion & understanding for others that are sick or in pain.
Gmak in the meantime be well and you are in my prayers.
Pebble, Sorry it took me so long to answer this. Few things i heard in what you're saying. First, a "normal"person that wants what he wants , in spite of what others sick or in pain NEED, is selfish, controlling. Even if they are trying to do it in the name of caring concern. Have no clue & still dont accept what others say or need as truth, it becomes like gossip, He wants to know, only. So he can look caring. Then on top of this," Im a nice guy that cares", he judges them. How can this person help someone in need? No one needs that when they are in a state of pain, sickness, emotional hurt. Dont be fooled by the facade, no matter the caring mask he is wearing. Have you ever noticed this paradox: when someone dies or gets a fatal diagnosis, people in general dont know what to say, dont bring"it"up. Usually the surviving family WANT to talk about the person who died, remember them. Or have cancer, they want to talk about it, want to be their normal self, like they were before the diagnosis. It makes other people squirm with discomfort. Now take a person in pain, they DONT want to talk about it. Enough of their day is stolen already by pain. And, now the others Want to talk about it. It takes compassion, sensitivity, and picking up on subtle hints to know what the hurting person wants. Ok, you give in, now YOU want to talk about it. They shut down, the glazed look. Like we are talking for our health. Heres a famous one, We are making everything about us! So, you are compassionate, sensitive, & you dont allow someone to get the dirt, or listen to gossip. Because you care. Like we both said here, understanding, caring, loving is listening. And giving the benefit of the doubt. Treating people like you want to be treated. And if
they have "something" & you dont know what to do, ask them what would
be best, in your case? Thank you pebble for your prayers. Thank God for the helping people on this board! gmak
Last edited by gmak; 11-28-2012 at 07:32 PM.
I remember from the movie "To Kill A Mockingbird" several things stand out but one line that really stuck with me is what the main character Atticus Finch says to his children, "you never know a man until you walk in his shoes." Oh how true that statement is.
People will never know the physical pain or the emotional pain.
Two years ago I reconnected with someone that I went to Jr. High School and High with. I had a crush on her but never got to know the "inner person."
Then 2 years ago we reconnected. I e-mailed her not knowing if she would remember me or if she would respond. And if she did respond I figured we would catch up and then go our separate ways again. It had been 39 years since we had any contact whatsoever. Well we reconnected and what has tured out is that we have become the best of friends.
She is my confidant; my best friend. I respect her I trust her. While as a kid I got to know the outer beauty now I see the inner beauty in her. I trust her judgement and wisdom on everything.
We have walked the same path as to our emotional feelings and I know if I am hurting she, outside of the board, is the only one that truly understands.
If she doesnt hear from me in a few days there is an e-mail from her and a phone call. While we live thousands of miles away I know if I am crying in the middle of the night I can tell her this.
That is a true friend. She doesnt judge me; she supports me completely. I wake up every day and thankful for her being in my life.
Its a matter of finding the support that you need & want. And I have come to truly love her for being the person she is. I am truly blessed.
My other outlet is here the board. I know you all have walked the same path; the same journey that I have walked. We have become comrades in arms. We are truly the heros for facing what we do each and every day.
Hi PB! Been reading your posts and am feeling your pain, big time! I can so much relate to everything you said. I married (what I thought) was a very good friend. He knew exactly what I had been through and was still going through with chronic pain. I really believed that he "got it" because he lost his wife to cancer 8 years prior. I guess between his stress with work and coming home to me became more than he could take. I left him two years ago & soon will divorce him. What blew me away is: How can someone be so understanding and compassionate and then "poof" I'm done!??? Or in your case, aggravate the situation with backstabbing you. Which is exactly what happened with my friends, coworkers and even family. You're right unless you've walked a mile in our shoes, you'll never get it! I got to the point anytime someone would ask me how I'm feeling, I would just say "Fine" because I know now it's not worth my breath in trying to explain. And getting those "Children of the Corn" stares! Hey, I know the pump trial is coming up & I pray that all goes extremely well for you!
I'm sorry for what you have gone thru. Yes it ever hurts so much when you think someone has your back and then poof they turn on you. I've been there and yes sometimes I have trust issues because of it.
Yes at times I too say I am fine because I know they wont understand and feel why bother explaining. No one understands
My friend that I reconnected with from school I never knew what she was like. But I was amazed as to the relationship that has developed between us. Truly a good friend. A true treasure and yes I love her.
You are lucky if you can count on one hand those people that are "truly" your real friends that will be there no matter what !!!
Question I just got to ask you…Why aren't you with this woman??? She sounds amazing! And you love her dearly. I know that's personal & I guess somewhere deep inside me; I'm still a hopeless romantic! Since I left my husband, I have not even been out with another man. I too have trust issues. But that's another story.
And you just said something my parents have told me since I was young: You're lucky if you can count on one hand, true friends…….so, so very true!!! Sad but true.
You asked me why I am not with this woman from high school. I will not lie and will be totally open and honest. She is married.
There is nothing between us more then I friendship. Yes I love her and yes I wish I could turn the clock back and things could have been different between "K" and I. But we cant turn the clock back.
I wont and she wont jeopardize her marriage. I would rather have her as a friend that not have her in my life.
Never did I expect when I first emailed her on did I think we would still be talking. I thought it would be that we caught up on each others lives and we both moved on. As a kid I was too scared to talk to her. All I saw was the outer beauty, It wasnt until 2 years ago when we started to talk that I saw the inner beauty as well.
We have not and will not take the relationship any further then it is now. It cant happen. Yes I wish she were available, but shes not and I have to respect her and where she is at this time in her life.
I hope you understand what I wrote. I wished I had the courage to talk to her as a kid who knows maybe we could have been together, but NOW the answer is NO!!! Yes do I think of her and know that she could make me melt into her arms. YES but we cant always have what we want.
Am I making sense and is it clear as to what our relationship is and HAS to remain as..........?
Last edited by moderator2; 11-29-2012 at 10:05 AM.
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