Ok here's the skinny. First off, I've been an addict of narc painkillers for 7yrs. I had knee surgery, that's how it began. I use to use in order to get high but now I've got legit pain need for my meds. I had ankle surgery 3 months ago, dr gave me hydro, my BFF would give me a hard time about using the meds bc she felt I really wasn't in that much pain. She said its just all in your head. Now we are not speaking bc she wanted me to stop taking my meds. I couldn't get her to understand that I'm seriously in pain n that OTC meds don't work. She called me a druggie and other means names. Now I find out I might have RSD, a chronic pain condition which means stronger meds. How can I make my BFF understand?
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
The following user gives a hug of support to loki2012: Pandie (12-29-2012)
You can try what I did to help my boss understand...print out an information sheet about RSD, what it does, how it affects people, and the prognosis on the disease! Once my boss actually read it all, she was shocked that I was still working and not really complaining about the pain. Try and talk to your friend...show her how your skin looks and the temperature changes. Kind of let her see for herself! If she can't see it and doesn't understand, then you need to find a better friend! I know it still hurts when you lose a friend like that, but you are going through enough right now and need people in your life who will be supportive!!!
Hello! I just wanted to comment on your post,
It could be your previous addiction to narcotic meds that she is concerned about, but if you are taking the medication now, as prescribed and only for pain, that should not be an issue.
Some people just can not understand that sometimes there is a need for narcotic meds. All they hear is the bad end, they dont realize without it, we can not live a normal life. My Mom, like your friend thinks that I can go without my medication even though my PM dr clearly says there is a reason for me to take it. She said it is all in my head as well but I know its not. I take my medication as prescribed and it is the ONLY reason I can function. Without my medication I dont know what I would do. Chronic pain is my problem. Ill have it the rest of my life. Do I want to be on pain meds forever? No! Will I to live a normal life and be a good Mom? Yes!!
I agree with the above that you should print out the information on what you have a show it to your friend. Let her go to a drs apt with you so the dr can explain to her that you need pain medication to live a normal life. Let the dr explain the difference in a physical need and a mental need. Thats the difference people have such a hard time understanding.
I hate to say that sometimes no matter what you do, some people just will not understand. In that case either let the person go or you can do like me & my Mom and never bring that subject up.
I wish you well,
Dear loki, I wanted to tell you that i have had chronic pain after 4 back surgs for 20+ years. Durimg this time i have had my husb, parents, friends question why i need my medicine? I tell you this b/c just do what yout dr says, between you & your dr he knows what is wrong, what is warranted treatment wise. Let that be enough, in my opinion no one should stop being your friend b/c of pain. They cant feel it! But, the friends, family that really love you CAN feel it! In their heart. Because they wont want you to hurt! Most CP patients arent affected by their medicine, as far as altered. If your friend will come back its b/c she loves you, cares about you. There are many who do, look around, there will be a new bff. I hope that you find yourself surrounded with caring loved ones who will not judge you. My family & friends dont understand arach but they understand that im in pain & cant stand it for me. She may never understand RSD, but hopefully will understand that even though you're in pain, you care for her. I think in time it will all work itself out. So sorry that you are hurting.
Last edited by gmak; 12-22-2012 at 08:15 PM.
Reason: wording
She doesn't believe in taking meds and said drs always give you narcs bc they make more money that way. I've only been taking as prescribed and tell her that but she said that an addict doesn't need that meds regardless. She won't believe me that my pain is that bad. She said take ibuprofen and Tylenol it does the same thing...she thinks she knows everything and it aggravates me. A month after my surgery she told me I still shouldn't be taking the hydrocodone, her and I are no longer speaking. I need ppl that are supportive in my life. I'm on narco now but it barely cuts the pain. It's depressing how much pain I'm in. I can't work yet which makes it worse. I'm also an officer in the coast guard auxiliary and can't really participate in many things bc of pain and still recovering. Just really depressing.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
So sorry youre dealing with people who dont understand. My boyfriend was that way until I took him with me to the spinal surgeon and she explained my MRI and showed him exactly what was going on. I have an appointment with my PM tomorrow morning and Im sure hes gonna love hearing what they have to say. He gets really frustrated with me because there are days when I can barely move and I cry alot... Nothing around the house gets done because I hurt so bad. He just doesnt understand that kind of pain, and when I have meds I can do more and get more accomplished. He hates the meds and doesnt want me to become an addict so he stresses over the meds. They are going to try some nerve blocks, however they dont hold out much hope that they will work. At least after him seeing the MRI film and having it explained, he seemed to understand that the pain is real and that it has to be addressed. I would have no quality of life without the meds because I wouldnt be able to function. Try to explain to her and ask her to go with you. It may make a world of difference and she may end up being a very big support for you if she understands. If not, the i say let her walk out of your life, because you have so much to deal with already that her constant pressure and nagging would just make things worse for you! Best of luck!
So sorry youre dealing with people who dont understand. My boyfriend was that way until I took him with me to the spinal surgeon and she explained my MRI and showed him exactly what was going on. I have an appointment with my PM tomorrow morning and Im sure hes gonna love hearing what they have to say. He gets really frustrated with me because there are days when I can barely move and I cry alot... Nothing around the house gets done because I hurt so bad. He just doesnt understand that kind of pain, and when I have meds I can do more and get more accomplished. He hates the meds and doesnt want me to become an addict so he stresses over the meds. They are going to try some nerve blocks, however they dont hold out much hope that they will work. At least after him seeing the MRI film and having it explained, he seemed to understand that the pain is real and that it has to be addressed. I would have no quality of life without the meds because I wouldnt be able to function. Try to explain to her and ask her to go with you. It may make a world of difference and she may end up being a very big support for you if she understands. If not, the i say let her walk out of your life, because you have so much to deal with already that her constant pressure and nagging would just make things worse for you! Best of luck!
It wouldn't make a difference with her bc she likes to think that she knows everything. She thinks drs are just out to get money from ppl. I also have a mild form of MD and she claims to have a relative with MD so of course "she knows more about it" than I do...lol. My other friends understand though.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
My suggestion then would be to let her just leave! One of the things that you need to keep in mind is the fact that stress can trigger more pain! If your RSD goes into remission too, stress can cause it to come back. You need to let the people who cause you unnecesary stress go because it will literally cause you more pain!
My suggestion then would be to let her just leave! One of the things that you need to keep in mind is the fact that stress can trigger more pain! If your RSD goes into remission too, stress can cause it to come back. You need to let the people who cause you unnecesary stress go because it will literally cause you more pain!
I think I'm going to have to. She just stresses me out way to much.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
With your history of addiction to pain medication, I would be just as protective of you as your friend is...and I hope you would too. If this is a true friend, I would want nothing less than that reaction.
In this case, is seems if your friend will only be happy if you stay away from the addictive medication that you have already fallen prey to. If you choose to keep the narcotics going, I would expect your friend to disapprove. And that is fair both ways...
While we are all very different, I can understand both your positions. I have seen a friend get lost into the bowels of addiction from pain pills, and he refused to see it. It is such a tough call.
With your history of addiction to pain medication, I would be just as protective of you as your friend is...and I hope you would too. If this is a true friend, I would want nothing less than that reaction.
In this case, is seems if your friend will only be happy if you stay away from the addictive medication that you have already fallen prey to. If you choose to keep the narcotics going, I would expect your friend to disapprove. And that is fair both ways...
While we are all very different, I can understand both your positions. I have seen a friend get lost into the bowels of addiction from pain pills, and he refused to see it. It is such a tough call.
She is and we've had long talks but no other meds work to even knock the pain. This last fight she basically called me a druggie and was very cruel with her words. This was my BFF of 7yrs. It's a tough call bc I want to be pain free but not lose my BFF. As of now its been a month since we spoke.
Blessings to you...
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
Dear loki, I agree with writeleft. If she is very protective of you, is there anyway to tell her you understand that she doesnt support the narcotic use but could she still be your friend, like that area is "we agree to disagree"?
Dear loki, I agree with writeleft. If she is very protective of you, is there anyway to tell her you understand that she doesnt support the narcotic use but could she still be your friend, like that area is "we agree to disagree"?
I've tried but she's hard headed and can't see past my addiction.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
I explained to a friend that as long as I don't get any "high", the doctors do not see a lot of risk in addiction. That seemed to help.
The narcs make my head swim with that high feeling even if I don't want to be high. That's the problem.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
I agree with the others here... you deserve to have loving, understanding friends. It seems like you are wanting to get her "approval". The last sentence of your first post asked "how can I make my BFF understand?". The answer is complex. First, you cannot make her (or anyone else for that matter) understand what you are going through. Second, it's not your job to make her understand. I'm sure she is concerned about your past addiction, but it might be good to try to sit down and talk to her about how her judgement and "name calling" make you feel.
If she is not going to speak to you until and unless you stop taking your meds, that is just immature (and sad). The love from people who deserve to have you as a friend is unconditional. I don't believe she deserves to have you as a friend, you sound like a great person and you deserve people who will lift you up and not bring you down. If you were diabetic, and someone wouldn't speak to you if you were taking insulin shots, how crazy would that be? This is no different.
I'l keep you in my prayers. I know this sucks. Please keep us posted.
Dear loki, I understand what you mean about not wanting to feel the side effects of your medicine. Has your dr diagnosed you with chronic pain? Im not sure from reading your post if it has been long enough yet but when i was diagnosed with chronic pain that is when i was put on long acting, time-released medicine & then I only felt pain relief from the pain medicine.
Last edited by gmak; 12-29-2012 at 02:21 PM.
Reason: reword
I agree with the others here... you deserve to have loving, understanding friends. It seems like you are wanting to get her "approval". The last sentence of your first post asked "how can I make my BFF understand?". The answer is complex. First, you cannot make her (or anyone else for that matter) understand what you are going through. Second, it's not your job to make her understand. I'm sure she is concerned about your past addiction, but it might be good to try to sit down and talk to her about how her judgement and "name calling" make you feel.
If she is not going to speak to you until and unless you stop taking your meds, that is just immature (and sad). The love from people who deserve to have you as a friend is unconditional. I don't believe she deserves to have you as a friend, you sound like a great person and you deserve people who will lift you up and not bring you down. If you were diabetic, and someone wouldn't speak to you if you were taking insulin shots, how crazy would that be? This is no different.
I'l keep you in my prayers. I know this sucks. Please keep us posted.
hugs,
Pandie
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I've asked her if we can just talk and she said she has nothing to say to me. She was informed by a mutual friend that my grandpa might die and her response was " I hope he doesn't but I won't be there for holly if he does" at that I've realized I don't need her in my life. 7yrs of addiction I guess has finally gotten to her, sadly it's those exact meds I need for pain. I have other friends who are supportive though.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
The following user gives a hug of support to loki2012: Pandie (12-29-2012)
Dear loki, I understand what you mean about not wanting to feel the side effects of your medicine. Has your dr diagnosed you with chronic pain? Im not sure from reading your post if it has been long enough yet but when i was diagnosed with chronic pain that is when i was put on long acting, time-released medicine & then I only felt pain relief from the pain medicine.
I haven't been diagnosed yet but my ortho dr feels certain I do have RSD. I'm waiting on approval from worker comp to see a pain dr.
__________________ Right ankle lateral ankle stabilization with ankle arthroscopy and debridement, curettage and microfracture of the lateral talar dome lesion. Possible RSD of right ankle
Anxiety and depression
Worker's comp still hasnt given you approval yet? That's crazy!!!! Maybe you should contact your case worker and mention that you are considering talking to an attorney. That usually gets the ball rolling! I have been on a work comp injury for 7 month now and i just did hire an attorney. Also, it may be the doctor's office dragging their feet. Find out the phone number for the company that is handling your work comp case and who your case manager is. Explain to them what the possible diagnosis is and what do you need to do to get it approved. They should be able to tell you what they want first and if they say they are denying it, you can get a reason from them right then and there and try to plead your case with them.
