disapointed in myself after panic attack - Panic Disorders Message Board

dragonballwizard · 12-01-2003, 11:06 PM

Had a bad week. It all started on black friday. I decided to try shoping at walmart that day. (big mistake!) I got caught in the crowd and was hit with carts and could not get to the front of the store to save my life. I had a panic attack that day that was different from the other panic attacks I had before getting on paxil. I am on 20mg and may I add this is the first attack I have had sense starting the meds.
I can tell you it freaked me out. I felt like I was not there even though I was, almost as if outside myself. I also had white on the side of my eyes kind of like a tunnel. I felt as though I was dying and I had finaly lost all control.
To top it off I had an appointment with my BM doctor today and I registered and everything but ended up leaving before the appointment something I have never done. I feel like the harder I try the more I fail. I started to sweat real bad and shake so I got the heck out of there.
What is wrong with me? why am I failing? this is very depressing. I am worried about her thinking I don't want the help because I left...I did call her to ask if I could get another appointment.
I feel lost and disapointed in mysself
DBW[B]

debbiep · 12-01-2003, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragonballwizard

Had a bad week. It all started on black friday. I decided to try shoping at walmart that day. (big mistake!) I got caught in the crowd and was hit with carts and could not get to the front of the store to save my life. I had a panic attack that day that was different from the other panic attacks I had before getting on paxil. I am on 20mg and may I add this is the first attack I have had sense starting the meds.
I can tell you it freaked me out. I felt like I was not there even though I was, almost as if outside myself. I also had white on the side of my eyes kind of like a tunnel. I felt as though I was dying and I had finaly lost all control.
To top it off I had an appointment with my BM doctor today and I registered and everything but ended up leaving before the appointment something I have never done. I feel like the harder I try the more I fail. I started to sweat real bad and shake so I got the heck out of there.
What is wrong with me? why am I failing? this is very depressing. I am worried about her thinking I don't want the help because I left...I did call her to ask if I could get another appointment.
I feel lost and disapointed in mysself
DBW[B]

HI there,I too used to feel awful after a bad panic attack, and very depressed but I have learnt to not be so hard on myself ,in which you are doing,being to hard on yourself. I found the more pressure I put on myself the more likely I was to having a panic attack brought on.You must alway except set backs ,that is a natural part of life in all areas... It is ,I know ,more frustrating when it is a panic disorder that you have to over come but you will,with time,if you do not look as set backs as failures. It is a long road but you are learning a lot through your panic attacks as I dont suffer with them as much now as what I did. I have learnt to look at my life differently and sometimes I think that is why panic attacks happen,to change your life as you where probably not happy with it...Takecare and one step at at time...debbiep.

hanelo4 · 12-01-2003, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragonballwizard

Had a bad week. It all started on black friday. I decided to try shoping at walmart that day. (big mistake!) I got caught in the crowd and was hit with carts and could not get to the front of the store to save my life. I had a panic attack that day that was different from the other panic attacks I had before getting on paxil. I am on 20mg and may I add this is the first attack I have had sense starting the meds.
I can tell you it freaked me out. I felt like I was not there even though I was, almost as if outside myself. I also had white on the side of my eyes kind of like a tunnel. I felt as though I was dying and I had finaly lost all control.
To top it off I had an appointment with my BM doctor today and I registered and everything but ended up leaving before the appointment something I have never done. I feel like the harder I try the more I fail. I started to sweat real bad and shake so I got the heck out of there.
What is wrong with me? why am I failing? this is very depressing. I am worried about her thinking I don't want the help because I left...I did call her to ask if I could get another appointment.
I feel lost and disapointed in mysself
DBW[B]

Awww hun,

Please don't be dissapointed in yourself. You are probably going through symptom shifting, which is a good thing. Your mind is on the way to healing. I also had a panic attack while on my medication. Mine usually happens at night when I'm feeling all looney toon. It's enough I wake up not knowing where I am because it's dark and I can't see, then to top it off feel this crawling all over my skin and feel like I'm going to die. It's all a mind thing and it will heal in time.

You just got a little scared and freaked and that caused you to panic. The feeling of being out or beside your body is normal. I would get that all the time and I would see dots flying all over like I was going to pass out.

Do you take any benzo's like Ativan, Klonopin, or Xanex? I am on Klonopin and I bring it with me everywhere I go just in case I start feeling paniky. I too feel over anxious around a crowd of people. I start sweating and everything. I feel like I just want to leave all the groceries behind and run right out the door. This is normal with panic. Your body just needs time to heal.

I hope you feel better soon and let me know if you are on any benzo's.

Chantel

dragonballwizard · 12-02-2003, 04:44 AM

Debbiep,
Thank you for the reply. I can't help but be disappointed in myself because I was doing so well before all this happened. I felt like I was going forward and I was starting to think I just might win the battle. Thanks for sharing some of what you went through with me.
Good luck to you and God bless
DBW

dragonballwizard · 12-02-2003, 04:50 AM

Chantel,
Thank you for the reply. Also thanks for sharing some of what you go through. I am only on paxil 20mg's. My BM doctor said she wants to stay away from benzo's because she feels you can get into trouble with those.
again thanks for the reply and God bless
DBW