Mad at Myself - Panic Disorders Message Board

Amber81499 · 12-09-2003, 10:09 AM

Hi Everybody, Its been a long time since i have posted anything. I was having panic attacks for a long time. I got on Zoloft and saw a shrink, it helped. I got pregnant and had a baby and he is perfect

Today I went back to the gym to workout......its been almost a year and I was on the treadmill and I was very aware of my heartbeat and within seconds I was having a panic attack. The dizziness, the fast heartbeat, the sick to my stomach, cant catch my breath. I am so mad at myself for having one. It has been so long, I just cant get it out of my head that there is something wrong with my heart. I have no reason to believe that.....I just do. Does anyone else have this problem? I cant stop thinking there is something wrong with me. I know any minute I am going to have a heart attack or my heart will stop beating and I will die. HELP! Is my zoloft not working? Can it just stop working or did I put myself in this frenzy because of the heightened awareness of my heatbeat?

Graciecat · 12-09-2003, 10:22 AM

I'm not a Doctor and I really don't know much about Zoloft...I took it once and was off it in a matter of three days...severe allergic reaction.
I suppose that it is possible that the Zoloft has pooped out on you.

But on the other hand, when I was having attacks I could throw myself into one just thinking about certain things....like you especially my heartrate and worrying that there was something wrong with my heart.
So IMO, it is VERY possible that you did it to yourself just from the worry.

Some12 · 12-09-2003, 11:48 AM

I don't think that your medication has worn off, I just think you brought it on by subconciously not wanting to think of a panic attack. You can not be mad at yourself, you have no control over having no more panic attacks for the rest of your life or having one tomorrow. The worst thing you can do is punish yourself for something that you just have to realize you have no control over. If you had control over it, you would not be taking medication. I think if it has been quite awhile since an attack that your medication is doing wonders for you. You need to understand for most of us, being able to go for a couple of weeks is almost being panic free. You are doing very well and if you accept this as an accomplishment for going so long, you are being the very best you can be. Being able to exercise and continuing to do so, is marveless. Keep up the good work. Although you are mad at yourself, and see this as failure now, you are reaching a goal that others can't get to. Just go with them when they happen and continue to strive in the way you have, it is working. Good job

Sickman