Anxiety and Other People - Panic Disorders Message Board

junglemonkey · 08-13-2004, 03:55 PM

I am about to go back to school and I'm really... Getting worked up about a few things.

I have real issues with other people and my anxiety. I never really had a problem with it until about 9 months ago, when I had my first panic attack in school. From there it has just seemed to be a downward spiral. I (even though hypnosis is helping in this respect though I don't think it's strong enough to help my school anxieties ) am having waaay more panic attacks than I used to, I've had 5-6 in a day sometimes and this scares me too. No one realises just how bad it is.

When I get really bad I leave class. Now don't tell me it's wrong because I'm not triggered by class or school or that, it's (mainly) stomach pain and nausea that set me off. Even my now ex-therapist and psychologist said this was ok because it's my way of coping and there is no reason why I shouldn't. However, whenever I do this I am always plagued with guilt and shame, so it makes it even harder. How can I possibly help this or deal with this?

Last year my year tutor (when she found out from another teacher about it) told all my teachers the problem so I felt slightly less guilty about it. But even then it was hard, and with a batch of fresh new teachers coming my way I have no idea what to do, it scares me ********. I have tried to envisage what it is going to be like and get so anxious, because I remember how hard it was the first time each teacher saw me go into a panic. Oh and there are a few teachers I could get next year who would really set me back because they are major triggers for me... I don't know what to do about this either.

I suppose I could ask the year tutor to do the same again right? But it is more complicated than that - long story but basically now she induces very strong nervous feelings and even panic attacks from just seeing her because of the "history" and anxiety. At the same time I'm afraid this is going to affect my school work.

I'm at a loss. Any advice on how to deal with these things? How do you guys deal with other people? How do you also deal with stigmas and stereotypes?

This post has been edited by junglemonkey: Today, 09:53 PM

crabbyroad · 08-13-2004, 04:25 PM

Jungle,

By all means notify the school via consuelor, principal to advise your immediate teachers. Are you under a doctor's care? If so, they can call on your behalf also with documentation of this disorder. The school, teachers, etc. should not be holding any of this against you any more than a student that has an asthma or diabetes.

I believe the guilt you are feeling when you cope, by stepping out, yet your not leaving, therefore you arent escaping, is eating you alive. This is what is causing you more distress. Plus the fact, that you will have some new teachers and are worried out they will react if they see you needing to get up and leave class for a few minutes.

Do notify the school asap, I believe that will reduce your anxiety a great deal. And it wouldnt hurt to visit your doctor, and tell them the attacks are coming greating in frequency since school is starting, and what they can do.

God Bless
CrabbyRoad

infamous me · 08-13-2004, 04:27 PM

I'm at a loss. Any advice on how to deal with these things? How do you guys deal with other people? How do you also deal with stigmas and stereotypes?

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I found that my anxiety is worse if I am around people that don't know I have a panic disorder. When I was in college, I simply met up with my profs, and let them know what was going on with me. They were very understanding, and just knowing that they knew what was going on with me made me a lot more peaceful, and less anxious overall. You'll be surprised. . .the more you open up to people, the more you will find that there are a million people around you going through the same (or similar) thing. Good luck!!

junglemonkey · 08-13-2004, 05:11 PM

Thank you both SO much for the quick replies. I was really about to freak out there because of all this worry about school. Last year it became a complete nightmare. I completely broke down in front of 200 pupils and teachers and it still haunts me.

To crabbyroad - My school do know about this. Well... My year tutors do and my old teachers and a couple more who have witnessed me in my most vulnerable time. I am only under a doctors care for hypnosis at the moment. My teachers don't really hold it against me as such, well I don't think so... but I can tell it weirds them out, and they do succomb to stereotypes, one of the more laughable comments being "Were you just feeling a bit claustrophobic in there?" Ha.

I've been wanting to apply for dentistry for years and one teacher said to me I couldn't do it because I had anxiety. I could have slapped him, seriously. That was the most offensive thing to me. So I guess in that respect it is held against me.

One thing I will give myself is that I ALWAYS go back. No matter what the situation. That particular time in front of the 200 pupils I mentioned - I actually went back in after a bit and sat at the back of the hall (and you know, everyone looks at you and points) after being offered to go to to the library and not come back because I know that's what I have to do. I know it's for the best. And it's not often I leave.

But really, when you "step out", how often is too often? I normally get it after lunch or break (after eating when the stomach pain rears it's ugly head) and would once a week be too much? Once every two weeks? Just how often is too often? See I have all these little niggles that just plague me.

You are right though, this guilt and shame does eat me alive. I remember the way my teachers reacted, and it was a horrible feeling. I also find it very difficult (even if they know) to take that action and leave because of the guilt. The school do know (My therapist send a letter to the school because the Qualifications Authority needed to know in case I wanted to leave in an exam) What would I say to my doctor? (It would have to be the hypnosis guy and he's not very talkative) and what could he do for this problem?

infamous me - I really wish I could talk to my teachers about it because it would put them at ease too, I just wish I could come up with some kind of "agreement" where it's not hard for me to "get out" of class... I guess people just underestimate anxiety as a serious illness which I am adament it is... But the problem for me with that is I have this huge fear of being perceived as an attention-seeker, which I would know myself I'm not, but other might think so or get sick of hearing it.

*sighs* This is causing so much anxiety. This hurts.

J.J.Wagner · 08-14-2004, 12:28 AM

I get about 4 or 5 panic attacks during a day at school. I remind you this would be a good day for me. I get alot of them during school. I jus get really stressed out there. There are too many pple..and to much to have to worry about. I dont like going to school cuz of fear that i know im going to have several panic attacks while im there. Most of my teachers know that I have them but i try not to make it a point to tell them b/c of the fact they always nag at me to see if im ok and that makes me worry about getting one and then eventually i do get one. I step out of class often too. I get so dissapointed in myself especially when i have to leave class b/c then eveyone wants to know why I left and if im ok and it just draws too much attention to me. I dont like to be around alot of pple especially if im in a small area. If im disorganized i get them, which I think is really stupid. If im sitting at my desk and i have a whole bunch of papers sitting around and I cant find something i will get a panic attack. For instance I work in a fast food resturant (Wendy's, Im sure you heard of it) Well when I cleaned the sandwich station tonight I tore everything apart and my stuff was disorganized and when i had to make a sandwich i got a panic attack b/c the things i needed werent where they were suppose to be. I know it sounds really dumb and I dont know why im like that. It tends to make me really depressed b/c i wish so much to go through a day stress free, no panic attacks, and no fear. But for pple like us, well with these conditions, its close to impossible. For me though when I get them in school I found that singing to myself helps calm me down. Or i talk myself through it. If it is really bad I have to take medicine or i might pass out b/c i hyperventilate to bad. Dont worry about the sterotypes. They are only afraid of what they dont understand. I dont let pple like that get to me. I know i have a problem and what they think is not gonna help or hinder my situation. By the way what grade are you in? I am currently going to be a senior. I was diagnosed with panic attacks and anxiety my sophmore year. And it was b/c i had a bad panic attack at school and passed out. I can say though they arnt as bad as when i first got them but it sucks cuz i still do get them. Does anyone else in your family get them? My dad and his 2 bros and 2 sis all have them. So does his mom. So I hope you find something that calms you down in school.