Fed up - Panic Disorders Message Board

Jessthemess · 08-14-2004, 08:10 AM

I'm not having a panic attack right now, but I did before I went to bed and it kept me up for an hour(which isn't too bad, considering they've kept me up for much longer in the past). Its just mentally exhausting! I get so ****ed at myself for being an obsessive thinker, swearing that I'll get through this, only to have a panic attack later on

! I actually went for almost 2 years without having an attack, but now they're a part of my reality again. I've never liked medication for anything(I don't even like taking advil). Every time my doctor tries to prescribe me something for anxiety, I decline. Now, please do not get me wrong. I don't think medication is unnecessary by any means. Its a valuable tool for helping to cope and heal, but I've always been cautious about meds for anything. Just my personal preferance. But I think I might have to consider it, because just talking about it all with my therapist isn't cutting it anymore. I don't want to feel like I gave up on myself and my beliefs, but I don't want to feel like this anymore.

elatedgiraffe · 08-14-2004, 09:49 AM

I know how you feel. I have been able to manage my attacks lately, BUT they always come back again. I am also the same way about meds. I was on meds when I first started having panic attacks. but then decided to get off them and beat this on my own. I commend you for your effort. I know exactly how much it takes to deal with panic attacks without medication. So many people are just set on being on meds and NEVER trying to deal with it on their own, thats fine if one chooses to be on meds their entire life. I for one, don't want to be. You may need to consider meds right now just to get through this rough point. What do you have to loose? If you don't like them you can quit taking them. Its not the end of the world to get on meds for ahwhile, at least until you can get in better control of them again. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to handle them right now. Panic attacks are a life long thing. There is no cure and you may go 2 years again panic attack free, only for them to return. Just pace yourself and love yourself. Theres nothing wrong with seeking help through meds. Do what works for you. Good luck.

hry33 · 08-14-2004, 11:29 AM

during my many years of trying to help agoraphobia and panic attack sufferers I have concluded that some people actually enjoy their panic attacks and the anticipation of them

the adrenalin rush and fears are seen as exciting and exhilerating, after all , sensation is very similar to than gained from some dangerous sports, high speed skiing, car driving, bungee jumping

those who resolutely refuse to take meds should honestly ask themselves if its because they enjoy their panic attacks and have become addicted to the adrenalin rush from them

elatedgiraffe · 08-14-2004, 01:10 PM

hry33-
I have to TOTALLY diasgree with you. I'm not one that likes to take meds, but in NOWAY am I waiting for my next panic attack because I enjoy the excitment. I'm not sure what group of people you have worked with but I have personally never met ANYONE that enjoys having anxiety/panic. It is the worst feeling in the world and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. The reason I don't like the take meds, is one, some of the side effects of the meds are awful. Second, meds often make me feel so different that I don't even feel like myself anymore. Meds often prohibit one to feel really excited when they should be, sometimes they level us off too much. I don't want to feel like a numb emotionless zombie through life. For some people, meds seem like a crutch. For example, someone taking medicine for high blood pressure is viewed differently in our society than one who takes Zoloft for panic attacks. The person is often looked at as weak and has "mental problems". You and I both know there is a stigma in this world for people with mental issues. Therefore the person with panic attacks has a tendency to feel "weak" or that they "failed" if they have to resort to medicine to be mentally stable. Last, I actually experience more anxiety when trying meds. I am anxious when I take any meds and that is due to an awful reaction that put me in the ER from one low dose of Paxil. So for anxiety sufferers, meds can make the anxiety even worse because they are AFRAID to take something that alters their brain chemisty, or like me, have a bad reaction. Most anxiety sufferers I have encountered don't like addrenalin and stay clear of bungee jumping, high speed driving, etc.

I'm not trying to attack what you said and it is good for the poster to ask herself if this is an issue for her, but your post struck me as really odd because I have never heard such an explaination as to why someone wouldn't want to take meds. I've never known anyone who likes suffering from anxiety and panic disorder.

tooanxious · 08-14-2004, 05:09 PM

That is an interesting observation on your part hry33. I will not attack you for saying that becuase I believe that we really do need to explore this and the only way that is possible is by exploring this disorder from all angles. Maybe some people's lives are so boring and have so little to occupy themselves that to feel alive every once in a while they need a shot of adrenaline.

Still a lot of people have such painful symptoms during their attacks and they become so terrified its hard to see that they actually would want something like that to happen. I mean do people look forward to feeling like they want to die and want that feeling to keep happening. I mean when I have an attack I actually think there is something wrong with me and I will die. Its not some game for me.

Also some people could be using panic attacks as a cruch to not go out into the world and use it as sort of a defense mechanism becuase they are "disabled". If they were to ever get rid of it they would have to get of their butts and do something they dont want to. Its not to say that they enjoy the attacks but it keeps them safely in their house and they can live a predicatable life. I obviously dont think everyone is in this boat who has panic.. I know that I would much rather be out in the world but cant becuase of my panic.