Karen316

I started having Panic attacks 16 yrs ago at age 20. Not the sweating palms, trembling symptoms - more like: mind racing, feel like I'm gonna throw up/pass out, throat closing sensations, have to get out of here, butterflies in the stomach, "I'm going crazy and people that are looking at me can tell - just act normal", etc.etc. It got so bad I would not leave my house. Then I went to a agoraphobic support group and heard about Xanax. Tried it - nothing. Then Klonopin - bingo! Worked great. Took .5 mg three x's per day. It felt to me that it was actually "blocking" the panic attacks. Fast Forward 16 years. (but carried K w/ me everywhere I went - just "in case") - Tapered down veryyyyyy gradually over the past 4 months down to .5 once per day. Then once every 2 or 3 days, etc. The past 2 weeks I have not taken it at all. Felt great at first. The past few days I've been waking up with the nervous stomach feeling, etc. Last night at dinner w/ friends, a friend drove (so I didn't have "control" in case I needed to leave) and in between the salad and main course here it comes: "Oh no, I gotta get out of here, I need to lay down, just act normal, breathe, I feel like I'm gonna pass out" - thoughts and feelings came flooding back. Took a .5 Klonopin and felt better but I'm sad. I thought I had this thing beat. (wishful thinking).

Oh and here's the funny thing: I had to refill my Klonopin & it did not look like the regular pill I take. Pharmacist says there are many makers now and diff makers & generics can all look different. So do you think I want to take a pill that yes may be Klonopin but doesn't look like it? NO - my screwed up panicky mind says: don't take that, it's not the right drug, it will make you sicker, etc.etc. Oh I love this #$**@ disease!!!!!!!