jasmine30

Hi,
OK this is quite long but I have to vent...My dad is getting on my LAST NERVE!!You see my birth mother died 11 days after I was born so dad and my grandmother raised me til dad remarried when I was almost 3...I was an overprotected child...It was always don't do this,don't do that,no,no,no,the World is dangerous you don't need to do this or you don't need to go there,you will get sick yada yada yada..Well my dad lays guilt trips off on me,he still tries to tell me what to do when to do it...Im almost 30 years old and I can't take it anymore!!He don't know what no means,I can't get any peace and quite so I can relax...He thinks he is the only person with financial stress etc...He tried to lay the blame off on me that I was the reason he and my mother is in debt..I take it that way coz he told me once they were working their tails off so I could have something when they are gone...Anyway I started having probs with Panic and Agorapobia again after a relationship ended...I had no choice but to move closer to them coz I didn't have any family living in the area I was living...Ive been back here nearing a year and just now moving into another place...It won't get any better coz he'll be over everday keeping me upset about something...If I don't answer the door or phone he'll call the cops or the mgr of the complex who happens to be married to a cousin..I can't get away from it!!How can I tell him to back off???I know what Im about to say may take you by surprise and please don't misunderstand me but the only way I will ever get any peace is when he dies or if I moved somewhere where no one knew where I was...I DO NOT mean Im gonna kill him or wish that he would die,Im just proving a point...A person can only take so much...He tells me when to go to bed,tells me Im smoking or eating to much...Ive developed a hate for the man but he has drove me to it!!All I hear is I got so many worries on my mind..I told him well all I can say is he should of kept it in his pants and he wouldn't have any worries!!Another thing,the cousins wife gave my mother 2 keys to my apartment...That hacked me off!!They play ol billy heck if they think Im gonna let them have a key to my place!!Im gonna return the key to her and if she gives it back to them,Im calling the big wigs!!The way he has done me and is doing me makes me feel bad about myself...Almost like Im imcompetent to manage my life...Im sick of it!!A counselor I went to a few years ago in Tulsa told me he thought my dad was alot of my problems...Thanks everyone for letting me air my troubles...I don't know what else to do to make it any easier for me...

[This message has been edited by minerva (edited 09-05-2002).]