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Old 02-10-2010, 05:44 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 2
Zenith21 HB User
Panic ruining my ability to have a relationship. Sound familiar anyone?

I've had several panic attacks over the past two or three years. Though I haven't had that many many of them have been very long in duration (They can go on for days). I've researched some things about panic disorder, but I haven't found anyone who has a panic disorder story similar to mine and I'm very curious if anyone can relate or has insight.

I had my first panic attack right after I got into a relationship with someone. I didn't know what the problem was although I assumed the panic attack had something to do with my deciding to be this person's "girlfriend." Even though I thought I liked him and wanted to see where the relationship would go, once I started having a panic attack I immediately broke up with him to make the anxiety go away. This wasn't the end of it though, because I still had feelings for the person and got back together with him thinking I would feel different the next time. This is how I ended up in a year and a half cycle of getting together and breaking up with this person. I guess he put up with me due to his own neediness and emotional instability.
Finally I stopped talking to him and a while later I tried having a liaison with an older guy who I got along much better with. He seemed like a good friend in addition to the fact that I was very attracted to him. The same thing however happened, where at first I felt fine and hopeful and happy-anxious. Then maybe three days into it I started to have a series of panic attacks that ran into each other for hours upon hours.
These panic attacks made my general anxiety and depression worse and a couple of times I've had panic attacks that were not related to entering into relationships -- But now, I feel like I will always have a panic attack when I try to be with someone which is obviously really frustrating. I don't know how to change this especially now that I sort of expect it to happen.
Has anyone experienced anything similar to this? I know most panic attacks are supposed to be caused by "nothing." I know that the panic attacks are related to being in a relationship, though I'm not sure what the real problem is. I come up with explanations all the time. Any one of them could be true. I really don't know. I'm sick of being scared of something that is supposed to make me happy.

My therapist also says I have dysthymia. Maybe that's got something to do with it?

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Old 02-10-2010, 09:48 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 4
shortblonde HB User
Re: Panic ruining my ability to have a relationship. Sound familiar anyone?

Im a teenag girl and also have panic disorder. I've had only two, not serious at all, boyfriends and I ruined them both.. each one lasted about a week.. For now I'm just ignoring guys and trying to work on my own health, sounds kinda cheesy but it's working for me! Good luck.

Last edited by ms_mod; 02-11-2010 at 04:45 AM.

Old 02-16-2010, 08:13 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 2
Zenith21 HB User
Re: Panic ruining my ability to have a relationship. Sound familiar anyone?

Thanks for the response. You're probably right. I guess that's what I should be doing (not worrying about relationships for now). I'm just worried for the future =/

Old 02-24-2010, 09:05 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 515
itburns2004 HB Useritburns2004 HB Useritburns2004 HB Useritburns2004 HB Useritburns2004 HB Useritburns2004 HB User
Re: Panic ruining my ability to have a relationship. Sound familiar anyone?

This is def. Not a time to worry about a relationship or if you'll need to focus on yourself now. Your anxious for a reason.I think you noted your young and this is when this disorders rears it's ugly head. Do yourself the best favor abd beat it now. Eat healthy, stay far away from caffiene, iilegal stuff :/, and alchol. Eat right, focus on the moment and go and join excercise, kickboxing or something fun and that will give you a healthy release and workout. If it happens again g and speak to yur dr. About it.The mist important thing to do is face your fears head on and understand it's actually you talking itinto yourself. I ignored mine wgen it started too long and I should not have,I did not understand it...good luck and firgetabout relationships for don't need more stress or their baggage at this time...

Old 03-04-2010, 04:04 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Escotk HB User
Re: Panic ruining my ability to have a relationship. Sound familiar anyone?

Like everybody above has said, you should DO YOU right now. When you're ready, a relationship will find it's way to you and when it does, because you're ready and you've worked on yourself, it'll be a great experience.

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