I'm sorry about your panic attacks.....I found that going somewhere public will diminish the fear of death (at least) when I having the attack. It's no ball game getting through it, but once it's over you can return to where you feel comfortable. I know that may not be possible....I haven't left my house truly in 2 years. I wonder if depression/anxiety is really an issue that's understood by doctors at all ! I think it's relativly new and we've become guinea pigs in a way....or at least I have. What with the different medications/chemicals that they continually have me digest !...........hmmm, but I digress. Try weird things when you are having a panic attack, I found out that the oddest things will comfort me. A stuffed toy, the smell of mint or cherry chapstick, standing on my head (lol), crossing my eyes, cracking jokes in spite of what our minds tell us at the time. For instance : You are having an attack, you feel like you're going to die....say " I'm not going down without a fight !" aloud, and say it with a funny accent. You might make yourself giggle...you might not. ..... pain in the tailpipe.
Kyle