jedijohnny

Wow, what a great room. I find myself infront of my computer searching for some sort of hope, or solece in the words of other people. I have suffered with this damn dissoreder for as long as i can remember, but then i did not know what i was suffering from. Now i am 25 years old and acually been diagnosed with panic dissorder and generalize anxiety dissorder.(about 5 years ago) Which might sound weird but was so glad to hear that i had this....this meant i wasnt totaly crazy and there were others dealing with the same fears and problems i was. When my panic hit really hard i was pretty pitiful, was afraid to leave my house and everything. This dissorder was sucking my life from me. And still does to the day. but i have learned to cope with it so much better. Its true i still avoid things that i think will give me a panic attack.

I currently am taking no medication and have been off for a good 2 1/2 years. i felt like i took everything, and experience all the effects good and bad. then i would miss a dose there and here, where i was too scared to start them back up in fear of side effects, or whatever crazy reason i had in my head. Maybe the fear of depending on a stupid pill to make feel better. I still get panic attacks and during these times i wonder if i should be on something. I mean if all i have to do is take a pill and i would be "NORMAL" i should do it right? Anyways, during my time of panic i either write or get online. I even wrote a poem titled PANIC and it was even published but i am sure the people who read it had no idea what it meant. By the way if anyone would like a copy of this poem i can send it to you. The only people who get it is the people who suffer from it. but i find my self feeling a little bit better now that i have talked (typed) a little. Any response would be good.

I just wanted to get on and say that there are so many people out there who are going through what we are, and to remember that we are not alone and the feelings...ALWAYS pass. just remember that.