| cannot relax when it is time to relax
My typical day is I get up and as soon as I'm awake I can already feel the bad "under current", I call it, of tension, anxiety, wondering what is going to happen when I get in my car and start heading to my destination for work. I travel around for job. Once I actually reach my destination and I get to working I'm distracted from my worries and therefore don't feel so bad anymore. When I come home its time for me to settle down and relax. Sometimes I can. other days, as soon as I sit down those same feelings come back. I feel like i have to be constantly doing something to keep my mind distracted from my, what I guess is anticipatory anxiety or fear of having a panic attacks. I have an "uncued" panic disorder where I can be in any situation not having any negative thoughts or what ifs and out of the blue those feelings of doom, dread, feeling like something terrible is about to happen comes on. I've learn somewhat how to control these sensations, but some days there is just no controlling it. All i want to do is RELAX when my work day is done, not sit through these feelings.
I also used to be a consistent runner. Now avoiding it simply for the fact that the sensations of exercise and a panic attack are the same. fast heart rate, short of breath, etc. my doctor tells me to exercise to produce more serotonin, but how to get around the fact of those sensations you feel if your going to be working out. its a paradox. does anyone else have this problem?
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