Re: Feel like I am going crazy
Hey nesfan -
I'm not a member here, I was browsing the forum out of boredom and saw your post and felt the need to respond.
I'm 21 years old - and I went through almost EXACTLY what's going on with you right now a little over a year ago. I've always had anxiety issues, but I hit a turning point one afternoon where I had a severe panic attack, and literally couldn't get off of the couch for fear of breaking down into insanity. I know how you feel, it's terrifying to suddenly think of yourself without control or your own head.
Please listen, and I'm serious about this: IT WILL GET BETTER ONCE YOU FIND HELP. YOU CAN REGAIN CONTROL.
I'm not trying to be a cheesy spokesperson or a physician or something. I'm someone who went through what you're into now.
If you can get to a psychiatrist and get some meds, great. SSRIs and anti-anxietals helped me a lot. But the most important thing you can do for yourself (and this is strictly based off my experience, not professional expertise) is find a psychologist that deals with social anxiety and panic disorder as a specialty. Preferably a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT)
My therapist has worked miracles for my depression and panic. I can go back to class (I dropped out because of the panic), I have a job now, I can run errands and hang out with friends... it's the biggest change for me.
Things can turn around. Seriously. You just need to make a plan for yourself to get better and act on it. Lying around feeling miserable and sorry for myself only made a horrific month for me, before I started looking for medication and a therapist.
Good Luck. Have hope - you're one in 100000 people going through exactly the same thing, and there's people who's job it is to specifically help turn your life around.