| | New diagnosis of Panic/anxiety attacks
Hi guys, My name is Elaine, I am 29 years old with a wonderful OH and two beautiful children 6 and 2.
I have never in my life had any sort of panic attack and to be honest when i heard someone mention panic attack my first thought to myself was 'pull yourself together'. Only now after a few months of suffering from this i can sympathise with my mother and brother who have suffered for years with this horrible burden!
When i first experienced one i was at the gym, nothing unsual or different, just at the gym, i was taking a break while my OH finished on the weights and i began to feel strange. I sat at the window and drank some water, it felt as if i was in the room but wasnt, if you know what i mean? i began to feel shivery and cold but at the same time needed fresh air, i headed for the front door, my OH followed. As i sat on the steps i just remember telling him i dont feel well, i dont feel well i went to stand up and i must of passed out, next thing i remember was my OH standing over me calling my name and telling someone to get an ambulance. I sat up and almost straight away blacked out again. After coming around the 2nd time i told them to cancel the ambulance that i felt better and i went home. I went to see my own doctor who never mentioned panic attacks and to be honest it never entered my mind either. He just said we will see if you are anaemic and if not you can go back to gym.
In the meantime one morning while me and my son were relaxing i suddenly began to feel unwell, it felt as if i was almost going to be sick. I got up from where i was sitting and went straight to the bathroom and ran cold water over my hands and face. I began to pace up and down, i sat on the edge of the bed and it was as if things were too much and i had to stand straight up again! My OH was only dropping my daughter off at school and i knew he would be home any minute. When he got home i began to feel more relaxed and i lay down and fell asleep (even though it was only just after 9 and i had slept most of the night!)
The 3rd time i was at a health centre in a conference room (a small one) there was about 8 of us and a chap giving a presentation on the computer work related. About 20 mins in i again suddenly felt unwell, and withint seconds i just had to get out the room. I walked and walked till i found a toilet. I got a glass of water and then made my way outside. It took about 10 minutes before I could return the the meeting.
All of the above happened weeks apart. But the worse episodes was to come! i was at a concert, a outdoor one, i have never been bothered with large crowds or noise etc. It got to the end of the concert and our group was having a great time! and then i began to feel that feeling again! Oh no, please no! i turned to my friend and said i had to go to the toilet but she could see i wasn't feeling well. I walked away and when i saw them following it made me worse! I could feel panic set in! everything seemed so surreal, here i was at this massive concert and it was as if i wasnt there! my friends tried to calm me down but i wasnt listening to a word they were saying. eventually the feeling subsided and we all agreed to stay at the side i went to the loo and kept telling myself i was ok. When i came back i couldnt stand and watch i had to keep moving about to be honest i just wanted to keep walking until i got home! After leaving our lift felt like forever to arrive, and on way home i had to sit with my head between my legs. It was then i reliesed what was wrong with me, after chatting to my mum she told me all this was just how she felt (she was a long time panic attack sufferer) my brother also suffers from them, but i had never spoke to him about it or my mum to be honest, as i never reliesed how crippling they could be! The next morning i got up to deal with the kids and kept myself busy, but as soon as i sat down i felt the feeling come on me, i got straigth up and went to my bedroom and stuck the fan on and lay back and read the news on my phone! i stayed home the rest of the day and was ok but my mum convinced me to come out that night and i was looking forward to it, i got all ready my OH dropped me off but on the way down i didnt feel right, when we got to the venue i got out and as soon as i walked into the building i walked straight back out again and phoned OH to come pick me up, i couldnt face it! We drove about and after a while i said lets just get something to eat and go home, but when we got to the chinese i couldnt get out the car! This fear creeps up on you and its as if you are frozen! My OH calmed me down and after another wee drive about i managed to go inside the takeaway shop for a few minutes before returning to the car.
Since then i have had almost daily occurrances of fear/panic/anxiety attacks. I am on propanolol 40mg twice daily at present. I think they are helping. I also try and keep my mind busy if i feel one coming on, counting backwards or saying the alphabet missing out every 3rd letter anything that takes my mind off that feeling!
My worry is i am going to have this forever, why now at 29 have i developed this. I really feel i have no stress or worries that should of brought this on. I am going on holiday on Friday and my OH made a comment about spoiling the holiday.... i dont think he ment anything nasty by the comment, he has been really supportive of everything that has happened but i am worried we get there and i am going to be a hermit inside the hotel room!
I look forward to reading all the other threads and hopefully will try to understand this diagnosis better.