How to do EVERYTHING?!?! - Parenting Issues Message Board

MilkNKisses · 11-18-2003, 02:23 PM

Maybe I just need to rant .. I have a beautiful 3 month old baby girl. I went back to work 3 weeks ago and I am having so much trouble.

I get only about an hour and a half a day with her while she is awake .. her daddy .. is a great daddy .. but a grim house keeper so when I get home its bath for baby, bottle, bed then dinner, dishes, then bed.

I dont know how to manage all my responsiblities .. I cant imagine doing this for ever .. Im at the point where I just want to quit my job and stay home .. I dont know if thats a real option right now .. her dad quit his to stay home with her .. since I had the health insurance it made sence at the time ..

I just dont know what to do .. I want to be a good mom and be there for my child .. but Im falling asleep at my keyboard *she dosn't sleep through the night yet and we each take a shift* .. any advice would be great .. should I quit my job? Get a house keeper? Sleep under my desk at work?!?!?

OH and any tips for getting her to sleep longer would be greatly appreciated .. we have a schedule .. and the rice cereal dosn't seem to sit well with her ..

*sigh* HELP! *snores*

kitkat1991 · 11-18-2003, 09:28 PM

Well, in my case, I was the stay at home parent, and like most, my dh was the bread winner. When my kids were little (okay, most of them still are 12-8-3) I was the one who always got up with my kids. There was never a shift about it. Since hubby had to get up to work, I was the one who had to get up with them. As for the household routine....unless you are expecting company, leave the mess. Enjoy what awake time you have with your daughter. Have daddy take a break from watching her, and let him make dinner. Your daugher will only be little for so long, and what a shame it would be to look back and all you remember from her childhood, is a clean house. The dishes aren't going anywhere. They will still be there later. See if you can't get dh to start getting up with her during the work nights, and you take the weekend shifts. He can always sneak in a nap while she's sleeping during the day, and yes I realize they sleep a lot during the day, and just not at night! I wish I had some advice as to how to get her to sleep longer at night. Heck, my youngest is 3 and was nursed until he was 16 months...(a comfort nurser none the less) and sometimes doesn't sleep through the night now! I am sorry, that wasn't very encouraging. Just be glad, my child isn't the normal child. LOL! Best of luck, and congratulations on your new bundle of joy!

Kimianne · 11-19-2003, 08:51 AM

Hi:

I SO understand what you are saying.

When I was 3-1/2 months pregnant my SO of 8 years and father of my child called it quits.

So, there I was pregnant with my first child, finding a new place to live and dealing with all these emotions.

After I gave birth to my son I had to do EVERYTHING myself (couldn't even take a shower by myself with the door shut)! When he was 7-1/2 weeks old I fould a new job. I had to go work and couldn't maintain the commute that I had had while I was pregnant.

I have to say it gets a lot easier as time goes on. You'll learn time saving tricks. And the baby will start having more awake time for you (that was one of my biggest problems not spending much time with him. I would cry everyday on the way to work!).

Keep your chin up.

MilkNKisses · 11-19-2003, 09:39 AM

Thank you both for taking the time to reply to my post .. I have tried to get my BF to help more around the house .. he just says sorry .. and orders a pizza .. great on the whole no clean-up but hell on the waist line hehehe.

I am seriously thinking of quitting my job. We are going to be moving after the holidays to another state to buy a house and hell .. if I dont have to work through her first christmas .. I dont wanna!

Im going to look for part time work and perhaps get into doing data processing at home .. you are right .. being with her is far more importiant than cleen dishes .. Im working on being more relaxed about the state of my house .. but man is it frustrating!

Anyway, thanks again for your time

tilly2 · 12-02-2003, 10:18 AM

I agree that I think it is your husband's job to get up with the baby at night, at least during the week when you are working. Remember, he can nap during the day when she does, you can't. As far as the house goes, I have a couple of suggestions. In my house I care a great deal about cleanliness, hubby does not. I don't think it's fair to make him live up to my standards. He could care less if the house was dusted only once per month, for me it is important for it to be done every week. Since I care, I do it. What I ask of him is that he does the dishes, makes the bed in the morning since he is last out of it, and clears up his clutter. I at least feel good coming home to a house which may be a little dirty, but is not cluttered. This seems to work for us.

If you need some time management techniques for housework, try checking out [removed] at the website of the same name (but it is [remove]). She also has a book out and has been featured in magazines lately. She has great tips on doing the minimum amount of work with the maximum results. She also talks so much about having children and a family. Her motto is people first housework later, which is so true, but she makes it seem manageable to have a clean house while caring for your family. I can't relax if my house is a mess, it's just the way I am, so I sympathise with you.