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Becoming spoiled

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Old 02-09-2004, 10:54 PM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 444
Sherri-Lynne HB User
Angry Becoming spoiled

My daughter just turned one and is a spoiled brat!!! If we don't do what she wants all she does is cry a fake cry until she gets what she wants. For example, she will only drink from a bottle and she has to be lying down. She can feed herself, but as soon as she figured out how to do it she stopped and makes me feed her. Also she will only sleep in the same room with us. I think it is just because she doesn't want to do anything on her own. It is getting very fustrating. We teach her how to do something and then after she masters it she doesn't want to do it anymore. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to teach her that all she has to do is whine and she will get what she wants. Or is it to early? Any advice would be great. Thanks.

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Old 02-10-2004, 08:35 AM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood, FL - USA
Posts: 1,000
KimRick HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

It's NEVER too early to teach a child anything! I, unfortunately, did the same thing with my daughter and now, at 8, she's just learning that you have to clean up after yourself and you can't get everything you want when you want it, even if you whine, cry & throw fits. My fiance's mother spoiled him and now, at 32, he's like a big baby! He expects things to be done for him and gets EXTREMELY irrate when it's not! She also let him get away with everything, including lying, when he was a child and it's carried over into adulthood with him, which is VERY frustrating for me! My advice: teach 'em while they're young!


Old 02-10-2004, 04:25 PM   #3
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Crescent City, Ca
Posts: 320
momof3mjt HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

I know it may be hard...but you have to COMPLETLY ignore her sometimes. If it isn't something horrible, like bleeding...let her cry. Don't jump everytime she gets hurt, and if it is something she can get by herself then tell her to get it, and then ignore the whining and crying. It is VERY HARD to ignore...but it shouldn't take more than a few times. You have to teach her that she will get your attention for GOOD praise and will get nothing for negative behavior. I am in total agreement with the last is never too late...but it is so much better to start now!
Remember YOU are the adult in the house, and she needs to know and respect that.
Good luck!

Old 02-11-2004, 10:18 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 559
MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

She'll only cry and whine as long as . it's working for her. Put her food in front of her, give her a spoon or whatever she eats with and encourage her to eat herself...don't feed her...eventually she will realize your not going to do it and will do it herself. You do need to ignore it, as soon as she stops whining than you pay attention to her, she'll learn pretty quickly that being nice will get her what she wants...and praise her, she's too young to understand any kind of reward system (treats etc), so when she acts like a big girl get really excited and give her a hug and tell her what a big girl she is.
It'll be hard and she'll be pretty upset for a while durring the adjustment, but i guarentee it'll be easier to break her of this habbit now than to wait untill she's older

Old 02-11-2004, 07:30 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 50
TheSlayer HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

I too have little ones and what you have to do is NOT give in ever! We teach people how to treat us-she obviously learned that when she cries if it isloud and long enough-it works-you have to stop it! The message will be loud and clear if you stick to it! good luck-the slayer

Old 02-13-2004, 03:33 PM   #6
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Misty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB UserMisty800 HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

Your daughter is not a spoiled brat! She is a baby! This is the time to encourgage new things but do not expect them to be miniature adults. Babies need gentle, loving encouragement in learning new tasks, eating included. Let her feed herself and you also feed her some. She will soon have the "me do it" attitude and not want any help at all.

Old 02-14-2004, 02:28 AM   #7
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Manassas,Virginia
Posts: 87
PatriciaB HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

It's funny, I keep coming back to these posts and reading them, then I leave and look at other threads, then I'm drawn back to this one!

I have 4 kids ranging in ages 24 to 11. Three girls and then one boy! I look at them now and woder where the time went. I look at my 24 year old and can clearly remember seeing her sitting in her high chair, playing the choo choo train game with her to get her to eat!

Ladies, this post is not about regrets or lectures. It is about savouring every moment we have with our babies while they are still babies! We are in such a hurry for them to grow up, to make those milestones, to become independent.
In our rush to make them grow up, we tend to forget that a one year old is still a baby! I didn't realize it with my oldest child as an infant but I sure did learn it with my last one!

If at 3 years of age, he was still resisting potty training, then as long as he was trained by the time he started school that was fine with me! If at 2 years old he still wanted a pacifier, what did I care what other people thought! I knew that EVENTUALLY he would give it up! And if at 1 year, he wanted to play, I feed him one bite then he feeds himself the next, that was fine with me also!

Eventually, they grow up. They are Not going to Let you feed them, play with them, and they will not let you pick them up and forget about hugging and kissing them in public!!!

Yes, we have to teach them along the way, we have to discipline them as we go along, even tho' it almost hurts us more than it hurts them! But mainly we have to love them, have TONS of patience as they learn to make their way, and we have to appreciate these moments when they are so young, because believe me, these moments last a very, very short time!

Old 02-14-2004, 04:33 AM   #8
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 444
Sherri-Lynne HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

I know that she is not a spoiled brat but I feel like she is becoming one. I watch her try so hard to do something and then get so excited when she does it. A few days later to watch her go back to square one, it just is so discouraging. If she wants something she just stands at my feet and screams. But I let her get it out and then I go down to her and say "please" and she replies "pees" then I will pick her up or do what she wants. I just don't want her to learn that screaming is the way she is going to get something. I just want to be a good mom and most of the time I feel like I just don't shape up.

Old 02-14-2004, 05:23 PM   #9
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 50
TheSlayer HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

sherri-lynn-you are a good mom-your here asking other moms for advice and caring about your daughter-a bad mom would be one that could care less-all you need to do is make it well known that she is the most important thing to you and love her unconditionally-and what she is doing is absolutly appropriate for her age.she is going to grow up to be a beautiful girl because her mommy loves her!god bless you and your daughter
"the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world"-w.r.wallace

Old 02-16-2004, 05:31 PM   #10
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Location: MA
Posts: 522
TeTr01 HB User
Re: Becoming spoiled

It's never too early to start teaching your child anything! Sounds like your daughter needs to learn that she won't get what she want by acting out, but rather by being a good girl. You need to remember, you are the mom & you are the one in control. You need to be more stubborn then her. When she starts to act up over something, she shouldn't get it. If she is screaming to get something, you should bend down to her eye level & say, "Please stop screaming & tell me what you want." If she refuses, you let her know that when she is ready to ask you nicely, then she may have it... but under no circumstances should she get it by acting that way! I know it can be confusing for children when they don't understand - but you need to help her to understand. You also have to set a good example for her, make sure esp when she is around that you are using your manners as much as possible. I totally believe that anything, good & bad, can rub off on our children if they are exposed to those things enough.

My daughter is 2 years old & has very good manners. Ever since she was learning to talk, when she wanted something I taught her to say "please" & "thank you". Now, she does it without being asked to say so. For example, if she wants something to drink she says, "Mama pwease I have cuppie!" LOL (she calls her sippy cup "cuppie"), then when I give it to her she says, "Thank you!". She also knows to say "bless you" when ppl sneeze. In fact, the other day in the car she sneezed & I said, "Bless you, Toni." & she said, "Thank you, mama!" She knows better then to start kicking her feet or screaming about stuff, that's not going to get her anything but a time out!

Good luck!

Last edited by TeTr01; 02-16-2004 at 05:36 PM.

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