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Old 03-15-2004, 07:35 AM   #1
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Ksavage HB User
Thumbs down A slapping 15 month old!

My daughter is 15 months old and is starting to hit us. I am not sure if she thinks it is funny or what. At first I just ignored it, thinking that she was just getting excited and playing too rough. Well it has only gotten worse. I have tried ignoring it and she will continue to do it & there have been a few times that she has hauled off and knocked the crap out of me. I have swated her hands a few times and I think that will only confuse her & I do not know how to put a stop to this. She is around other kids close to her age and she has even hit them. She does not laugh when she does it, it is almost like she does not realize what she is doing. She will be playing and all happy & then just haul off & hit someone, & then continue to play. But....I KNOW that she knows what she is doing!

Any help would be great! I am open to ant & all suggestions.

Kim
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Old 03-15-2004, 08:55 PM   #2
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Re: A slapping 15 month old!

I know some do not agree with this, but if it was me I would smack her back. Enough to make it hurt, then tell her that hurts and you don't like it either. Don't be mean but don't be lovey when you do it. Sometimes they just don't realize that it hurts others until they have felt it themselves. I know if you don't nip it soon it will only get worse as she gets older. There is a fine line between hitting and disciplining and kids need to know that what they have done hurts. And they need to know what "hurt" means.
Could she be picking it up from somewhere? Some other kids hitting her or have in the past? Take a good look around when she is with other kids and see if others are doing the same thing. I know one child in my class QUICKLY picks up on things he sees on TV. Boy, he catches on to that and it is hard to break it!

good luck to you!
Lindy

 
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Old 03-16-2004, 05:50 AM   #3
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Re: A slapping 15 month old!

I tried slapping my 19 month olds hand when she started hitting...mostly out of fustration when she doesn't get her way, but sometimes when playing, it didn't help at all. I tell her no and put her down and won't even look at her untill she's calmed down...i find for her this works better than slapping, at this age they don't understand that if something hurts them it must hurt you. I find puting her down and ignoring her works quite well for my daugter she hates it. If she is hitting siblings or other kids remove her from the situation and don't allow her to go back untill she is behaving. In my situation this works the best, my daughter hates when she can't play with her brother and sister or can't be picked up when she wants to. as she gets older and her understanding is better you can start with time outs and things like that, but i find hitting them to show them it's not ok to hit just seems silly..it's like stealing to show your kids that stealing is not ok.

 
Old 03-16-2004, 07:00 AM   #4
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Re: A slapping 15 month old!

when i was a little one i bit everyone and my mom said she just got so sick of it one day and picked up my arm and bit me quite hard....she swears i never bit anyone again! i dont know if this sort of negative reinforcement works with all children (i guess it did with me) some people use positve reinforcment....such as ask her not to hit for a certain amount of time and if she makes it reward her if she does not make it then time out....but since she is only 15 months shr may not understand this concept just yet...i guess it wouldnt hurt to try though. good luck

 
Old 03-16-2004, 06:08 PM   #5
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: A slapping 15 month old!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksavage
My daughter is 15 months old and is starting to hit us. I am not sure if she thinks it is funny or what. At first I just ignored it, thinking that she was just getting excited and playing too rough. Well it has only gotten worse. I have tried ignoring it and she will continue to do it & there have been a few times that she has hauled off and knocked the crap out of me. I have swated her hands a few times and I think that will only confuse her & I do not know how to put a stop to this. She is around other kids close to her age and she has even hit them. She does not laugh when she does it, it is almost like she does not realize what she is doing. She will be playing and all happy & then just haul off & hit someone, & then continue to play. But....I KNOW that she knows what she is doing!

Any help would be great! I am open to ant & all suggestions.

Kim
Hey Kim...I don't think ignoring her is going to help...Also at 15 months old do you really think she knows what slapping is?

I can think of two suggestions...One have a playtime just you and she..sit her either on the floor or on your lap and do a sing along with a slap included in the words..(and you smiling) see if she "gets" the slap part if you ask her to slap..That will at least tell you if she knows what she is doing and if she understands what the word or action of slapping is...

Second...Some moms out there may not like it but I would do it..If she slaps you again...Start Crying...Scare her about her hitting/slapping you and how she gave you a bbo boo...One thing little ones don't like is hurting their mommies or seeing their mommies cry...

I hope this helps..and Good luck..

 
Old 03-16-2004, 06:13 PM   #6
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Re: A slapping 15 month old!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
Second...Some moms out there may not like it but I would do it..If she slaps you again...Start Crying...Scare her about her hitting/slapping you and how she gave you a bbo boo...One thing little ones don't like is hurting their mommies or seeing their mommies cry...

.
That was a very good idea. My kids are older now and this still works. Well, I don't cry, but I sure let them know that they hurt my feelings and I don't like that. It works most of the time. hehehheheheheh
Guilt, what a wonderful thing! lol lol (just teasin)
Lindy

 
Old 03-16-2004, 06:21 PM   #7
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: A slapping 15 month old!

Quote:
Originally Posted by momof3mjt
That was a very good idea. My kids are older now and this still works. Well, I don't cry, but I sure let them know that they hurt my feelings and I don't like that. It works most of the time. hehehheheheheh
Guilt, what a wonderful thing! lol lol (just teasin)
Lindy

THANKS!
YES..Guilt to Children and the guilt they bring to us as parents..
I have to say..."I" can get my 15 1/2 "cool dude" son to cry if I really wanted too...LOL..

 
Old 03-19-2004, 10:40 PM   #8
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Tree Hugger HB User
Re: A slapping 15 month old!

Yes the crying idea. Thats what we did with the 17 month old I am a nanny for. Worked great. It was sad because she immidiatly got a very scared look on her face then the bottom lip wiggled a little then she too cried but she hasnt intentionally slapped since!
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:32 PM   #9
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Ksavage HB User
Re: A slapping 15 month old!

Thank everyone for all of your great ideas! I have since tried the "crying game" with her and she just thinks that is too funny and will hit me just to get me to "cry" some more! I thinks she sick in the head! (just kidding) I really think it is just going to take some time and patients! I and wondering if this is not a power struggle with me. We have been paying close attention to when she does this and it is only when her Daddy is at home. She NEVER hits him, but she will slap other children & it seems as if she chooses the olders ones to hit also. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Thanks for all of your help! Keep the ideas rolling in, they are very helpful!

Kim
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......and that's all I have to say about that.......

 
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