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Old 03-15-2004, 05:57 PM   #1
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ana_24 HB User
How do you talk to your child about sexual abuse?

Everyone has been so helpful with my previous post and I was hoping that I could impose on you once again for more advice. This week, my boyfriend would like to talk to his daughter about what is and isn't inappropriate touching, how to say no, how to report anything that makes her uncomfortable, etc. I have been browsing the internet and it seems that most information that is available needs to be purchased. Can someone give us some pointers as to how he can broach the subject with her and what to say?

 
Old 03-15-2004, 06:29 PM   #2
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Re: How do you talk to your child about sexual abuse?

I started at an early age and told my daughters that nobody was to touch them in there private areas and if they felt uncomfortable with a situation or somebody touched them innappropriately then they could come and tell me or tell someone they trust ( a teacher, a family member, etc. ).
Don't beat around the bush, but make her comfortable. Let her know she isn't in trouble, but this is something important to discuss. If she is comfortable with you present it may help her in being open.

As far as teaching how to say no, it is better to teach her how to scream no at the top of her lungs. Make her practice it ( you may want to warn any nosy neighbors that you may have ).

Good Luck

 
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Old 03-16-2004, 08:39 AM   #3
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Re: How do you talk to your child about sexual abuse?

When I was younger, I was told nobody should touch me any place a swimsuit covers (except at a doctors office ect.)
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Old 03-16-2004, 09:04 AM   #4
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Re: How do you talk to your child about sexual abuse?

With my kids I have always made it very clear to them that there is NOTHING that they should feel embarrassed about nor worry to tell me. I told them both that there are adults in this world who may tell them to 'keep secrets' and that they may 'get into trouble' if the secret gets out. I've told them all along that this is a lie and they should tell me anything, no matter, how big or small, which may trouble them.

Any touching should be reported to me because it is not just a case of touching genitals etc. Child abusers 'groom' children and often these start with harmless tickles which then escalate into something else. It often starts verbally too with children being told certain things which aren't for a child's ears or being encouraged to watch soft/hard porn or even your child posing for untoward photographs etc. Child abuse takes place in MANY MANY variations.

The main thing is to keep the channel of communication wide open and tell them in child like terms, very simply what is acceptable and what isn't and how to alert you immediately if something doesn't feel right. Children are very perceptive in bad situations. It's knowing how to handle it which is the key.

Last edited by MadSkillzGal; 03-17-2004 at 08:50 AM.

 
Old 03-16-2004, 09:21 AM   #5
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Re: How do you talk to your child about sexual abuse?

Hi Ana, I've been searching high and low on the information and found some awesome sights, and this is speaking from the view of someone who was there as a child and is still working on it. I'm going to quickly post the links to the mods and make sure they're okay and then I'll post the ones I get the okay on.

Again, I adore you and your heart for helping this child. You have no idea the outcome that this support will have on her. Talk to ya soon.
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Old 03-16-2004, 10:17 AM   #6
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ana_24 HB User
Re: How do you talk to your child about sexual abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel77
Hi Ana, I've been searching high and low on the information and found some awesome sights, and this is speaking from the view of someone who was there as a child and is still working on it. I'm going to quickly post the links to the mods and make sure they're okay and then I'll post the ones I get the okay on.

Again, I adore you and your heart for helping this child. You have no idea the outcome that this support will have on her. Talk to ya soon.
Thank you all and thank you especially Angel. I will look at the websites as soon as you post them. I did find one good one but it's nice to get different perspectives.

 
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