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Old 03-28-2004, 11:43 PM   #1
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Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

We are in massive need of advice, tips, or any "magic pills" that can help with our 4 year old daughter. We have been trying for the past year or so to potty train her. She currently wears pull-ups and does understand the concept of using a bathroom. If you ask her where to "pee" or "poop" she will say in the toilet. She will "pee" in the bathroom about 50% of the time but has never and refuses to "poop" in the bathroom. We are coming to our ropes end since we can not seem to make her do this. We are concerned that there might be more to this issue such as ADHD.

PLEASE HELP US BEFORE WE GO CRAZY!!! LOL

 
Old 03-29-2004, 07:53 AM   #2
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

Have you asked her why she refuses to potty #2 in the toilet? Could she be afraid of it or just plain stubborness? My daughter was about 3.5 when she was finally pottytrained. The more we pressured her and tried hard the more she refused. Finally we just treated the situation as if it was no big deal to us. Two months later, out of the blue, she said "I am a big girl and I will use big potty from now on." Ever since she is using the big potty. I don't know about your little one but with my daughter if she realizes that we want her to do something really bad, for example potty-training, she does the exact opposite. She likes to have certain amount of control over the situations and enjoys blowing her own horn. She apparently inherited my father-in-law's stubborness

 
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Old 03-29-2004, 08:57 AM   #3
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

i saw on dr phil how they got a training potty and a doll that can pee (with the hole that runs all the way through it) and they let the little boy "train" the baby for the big potty so then the child wanted to use it too since he had trianed the baby so well!
goodluck

 
Old 03-29-2004, 09:06 AM   #4
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

Our daughter pulled some similar stunts when we were potty training her. Our pediatrician counselled us and we followed his advice and it worked. We very matter of factly bought her some very pretty girl underwear (cinderella or something) and with great confidence informed her that it was time to start wearing them, that's just what girls her age do. We did not negotiate, ask her questions or give her any opportunity to protest the decision. Then, we put a potty chair in the kitchen in a central location and ignored the potty and never said another word to her about using it. And, we didn't put pullups back on her. There were alot of accidents and cleanups for a couple of days until she understood that this is truly how it was going to be, then she on her own started using the pot. It helps if it's warm weather when you do this--my daughter wanted to run around in only her panties for a number of days during this transition. And, you really have to have a few days where you aren't going anywhere, as you may be tempted to throw a pullup on her for a trip out. I think the key to this working is not giving the child any wiggle room for negotiation and to be matter of fact and definite. I believe our pediatrician told us this was not the time to be democratic.

 
Old 03-29-2004, 09:11 AM   #5
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

Quote:
Originally Posted by ammom1
Our daughter pulled some similar stunts when we were potty training her. Our pediatrician counselled us and we followed his advice and it worked. We very matter of factly bought her some very pretty girl underwear (cinderella or something) and with great confidence informed her that it was time to start wearing them, that's just what girls her age do. We did not negotiate, ask her questions or give her any opportunity to protest the decision. Then, we put a potty chair in the kitchen in a central location and ignored the potty and never said another word to her about using it. And, we didn't put pullups back on her. There were alot of accidents and cleanups for a couple of days until she understood that this is truly how it was going to be, then she on her own started using the pot. It helps if it's warm weather when you do this--my daughter wanted to run around in only her panties for a number of days during this transition. And, you really have to have a few days where you aren't going anywhere, as you may be tempted to throw a pullup on her for a trip out. I think the key to this working is not giving the child any wiggle room for negotiation and to be matter of fact and definite. I believe our pediatrician told us this was not the time to be democratic.
that is a good way to do this i think...i am certainly going to keep this in mind when i am training my daughter

 
Old 03-29-2004, 09:13 AM   #6
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

hi I thought I was the only one with a 4 yr old like this my son is doing the same thing I have tried everything including the dr. phils thing I am thinking about having him tested or something he is a smart boy but at the same time he is turnign 4 and still is wearing pull-ups I have got him under I evern tried to get the same as daddies I let him pic some and let him wear some but I usually have to throw them out I think he is tooo lazy to go or something I have done about every method imaginable.....

 
Old 03-29-2004, 09:26 AM   #7
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

sorry to hear that whowhat....man i am really dreading this potty training thing now lol

 
Old 03-29-2004, 09:48 AM   #8
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

Our four-year-old boy is potty trained (though we're still easing him off the pull-ups at night) and doing just great. But he didn't really get the hang of it until he was well past three, and we spent countless months of frustration trying to teach him.

What I learned, and what I will do with my younger boy (who's still a baby), is to let a child go at their own pace. Based on my admittedly narrow experience with just one child, it's no use wasting time on serious potty training until they're ready for it in their own minds. When my son was ready, that was it - he never looked back. But it was his decision - not mine or my wife's. (And interestingly, it neatly coincided with the birth of our second child - make of that what you will).

That's not to say it's not worth trying early. Introducing the concept is important. But I'm not planning to sweat and worry as much about our second child, because it just isn't worth the stress.

 
Old 03-29-2004, 10:09 AM   #9
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

Forgot to mention that my daughter was 3 3/4 when we used this tactic on her. It was well past the time when she should have been potty trained and she was physically very ready (her diaper was always dry in the morning).

Anyway, don't fret everyone, because you can be assured your child won't go to college in diapers, it just feels that way when you are going through this. Every stage has it's challenges. Luckily the joys at each age outweigh them. My two potty trained young'uns are now 13 and 15, seems like just yesterday that 13 year old was sitting pooing on the pot in the very center of the kitchen. Now, it's on to other challenges. Good luck all and remember to hug those little darlings a million times today.

 
Old 03-29-2004, 12:11 PM   #10
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

Just wanted to let you know that I think it's sort of normal for kids to be more resistant to the "poop" part of training. My own daughter at age 3-1/2 was wearing big girl underwear and would pee on the toilet, but when it came to pooping, she insisted on doing it in a diaper.

 
Old 03-29-2004, 12:12 PM   #11
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

*LOL* sometiems I wonder if I willbe changing Kadyns diapers when he is my age 25 *LOL* it isn't funn changing them at all he is alright with going potty somedays but he won't go number 2 hardly at all in the potty I thinkI will ask the dr. if it is something inside cuz this miht be TMI but it seems like he is always u know having poops all day

 
Old 03-29-2004, 01:26 PM   #12
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

My daughter was impossible to potty train until I came up with something that changed everything. If your daughter is anything like mine, she loves to have her finger and toenails painted. I told my daughter that only big girls that use the potty can have their nails done. The only time I would paint them is when she sat on the potty. It distracted her from thinking about being on it, and at the same time, showed her what big girls get when they use the bathroom. My daughter sat on the toilet and went both pee and poop while I painted her toe and fingernails. We did this every time for about 3 days and she was going to the bathroom by herself by the end of the 3rd night. We went through about 2 bottles of nail polish, but it worked. Good luck!!

 
Old 03-30-2004, 01:35 PM   #13
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

It is important to note that it is a completely different set of muscles when you are talking pooping and peeing. The muscles they use to poop and realize that urge mature later than the muscles they use to pee.

My son is 3 and not out of Pull Ups yet. I don't believe there is a set time for them to be potty trained. I refuse to train him based on my friend's kids or the neighbors little boy. He will do it in his own time. The best advice I got was from my Ped who asked "How many kids do you know that are still in diapers when they start Kindergarten?" Anytime before then is still considered normal.

He will be 4 in October. He pees about 50% of the time and poops about 10% in the toilet. I am not going to push him and so far he is making great progress on his own. Good luck
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Old 03-30-2004, 05:33 PM   #14
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

In my opinion I think pull ups are just a waste of money. I never used them they are the same thing as diapers and the child is going to think the same thing. When my oldest child was 3 we took her to walmart and let her pick out her own big girl underwear and when we got home we threw out the diapers and she started wearing underwear havent had a problem with her since. with my middle child we did the same thing although he was a little bit trickier and had a few accidents. I plan on using this same thing with my youngest who is almost 2 however i think she will be potty trained well before my other 2 were for the simple fact that she is showing interest in it already and doesnt like to have a wet or dirty diaper on.
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Old 03-30-2004, 06:11 PM   #15
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Re: Potty Training going HORRIBLY WRONG

I must admit that I have an advantage here. My 3 year old sees his brother who isnt quite 2 and sees the diapers as a step down or backward. I can see where a child would not differentiate between the two
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