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Old 03-29-2004, 10:43 PM   #1
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lil'momma HB User
spending time with your baby

Do any of you with small babies feel like you have to spend every single minute with your baby? I find myself rushing to get other things done so I can spend time with mine. I don't know why , I guess I just don't want him to thank I am ignoring him. He does occupy and amuse himself too so I don't feel like he is getting over stimulated. I feel guilty if I am doing something else , I don't even like to go out much without him. My husband and I have only been out together twice since he was born, he is almost 6mths. old now. I just feel like if we go out then the baby should be with us, it doesn't feel right without him. It's not just me and my husband anymore , its the 3 of us. I know I need time for myself sometimes and my husband to but I just can't seem to ever get over this. I guess I just feel like he needs me all the time.

 
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Old 03-30-2004, 04:21 AM   #2
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: spending time with your baby

You have a great attitude when it comes to spending time with your son. The only caution i give is that he needs to learn how to amuse himself when he needs to. By that i mean you don't want him so used to you always amusing him that he can't play by himself when you need to get something done, it's important for his independance and your sanity, i love my kids and played with them as much as possible but i also took some time out durring the day and did what i wanted to do, go on the computer, read for a bit, not for long mind you and i never let them cry or anything like that. Also, it's important for him to learn that when you go out that you will come back, I have 3 kids, with my last 2 i pretty much didn't do anything apart from them for the first 2 years (my 3rd is only 20months, so not quite 2 years) and it was horrible if i did leave they were misserable. I don't suggest leaving your son with a sitter every time you go out, but once in a while, a trip to the grocery store, a quick meal out etc are good for him to have a little independance. It's hard i know, i went to a xmas party and was gone for 21/2 hours and felt guilty the whole time and my daughter was miserable because i that was the first time i had ever left her. I don't go out much without the kids, but it's easier to gradualy get him used to the idea of you being gone than to just decide when he hits a certin age that you are going to start leaving him with a sitter.

 
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Old 03-30-2004, 10:43 AM   #3
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Mommyof4 HB User
Re: spending time with your baby

I had this attitude with my 1st child and 2nd child since they are almost 8 years apart. I can say from experience that too much time with baby and you tend to lose yourself. I now have 4 children and have to space my time with them so they don't all get a lot of individual attention. I make dates with them to go out just the two of us and that works well.

I would advise you to go for short spurts of letting the baby amuse himself. This is how they learn to self sooth. It also gives you time to do the things you need to do. Its all about moderation. Too much time with baby isnt good just like too little time isnt good.

As women, we learn to juggle many things at once. It is a process though so you have to do what works for you and your family. Good luck
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Old 03-30-2004, 12:14 PM   #4
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ABC~Mom HB User
Re: spending time with your baby

my autumn is 5 months...she has a really short attention span..she will only do things for a really short period of time then she is ready to do something new.
she also hates to be in a room alone....she has to be with us constantly...so needless to say bedtime is a nightmare and she is so young i cant imagine what it will be like later.
but i sometimes will set her wherever i am and let her watch me clean or put on my makeup so she feels she is a part of the action so to speak.
i feel bad when she cries and i am busy and i cant run to her first thing...but i am learning that she really usually does not want anything cause soon as i go in where she is she smiles really wide

 
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