My 4-year-old son started a new preschool last Monday. I have no problems dropping him off and he loves going to school. The problem: he has started to fight with the other boys. I picked him up from school yesterday and his teacher said he and another boy were fighting...so we had a long discussion last night about how fighting is not right and if someone takes a toy away you need to tell the teacher. Well, I just called to check on him and the teacher said one of the boys took a toy away from my son and my son raised his fist to punch him...but they stopped it in time. Gosh, what should I do? Is it my parenting? Is it the lack of control the teachers have? Is it just because he is "all boy"? Please help! I am feeling like a terrible parent!
Is your son around other children outside of preschool? My son is 3 and started Mothers Day Out last fall. We really had an issue with hitting in the beginning. He just didn't know how to interact with the other kids like he should. The teacher put him in timeout when he would hit and also told the other boy not to take things from him. A few times of sitting out when the other kids were playing and the hitting stopped. It also stopped when he really got used to the situation. Now, he tells the teacher because he knows her and knows that is what he is supposed to do.
It takes time but I can assure you, from what I am hearing, it is probably not a parenting issue so much as an issue of having to learn how to act when you are not around. HTH
my nephew goes to preschool also, he had also started fighting, arg. we to had to get him to stop. what helped is we talked that fighting is bad, for a couple of days. He stopped on his own eventually. it's cute, we ask him what what he did in school today, he says, I didn't fight. lol, it is cute.
Along with time outs he need to learn the proper way to deal with his anger. Try some role playing with him, take a toy he's playing with away from him. Teach him to say things like, i'm angry you took that toy from me, i was playing with that can i please have it back, etc. He needs a healthy way to express his anger, let him know it's ok to be angry and upset but it's not ok to hit and that when he hits he will go into a time out.
Hello, I agree with the role playing. In addition you might want to ask him why he's so quick to punch. Sometimes it's easier to deal with a behavior when you know why it's being done. I trust you also explained why this behavior is inappropriate. My hubby has a habit of just saying, "No" or "Don't do that" without an explaination why.
I remember my son telling me that he felt anger build up to the point he wanted to hit someone. I completely understood, because sometimes I get that way too. It feels like your blood vessels in your arm are going to burst. I told him that his mind is more powerful than his body, and that he can control his body with his mind. I also enrolled him in Kung Fu, whiich teaches self-discipline and concentration. It seems to be helping really well...My hubby hasn't had a bruse from our son since. (My son is 5 and has given my hubby bloody lips and black eyes, before Kung Fu.) It's heaven now.
Kung Fu Sifoos (teachers) will start children at young ages...4-5 year olds and sometimes 3 year olds. The other marial arts are usually 6 year olds.