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Old 05-03-2004, 10:28 PM   #1
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Talking Advice to give a 1st time mother

A freind from work is pregnant and due in a month and as her gift I was going to get her things that you can never have to much of. (Vaseline, shampoo, diapers, etc...) Anyways I also wanted to give her a card with a few little tricks and tips. Any tips or anything I can pass on to her from fellow parents would be great. Thanks in advance.

Last edited by Sherri-Lynne; 05-03-2004 at 10:29 PM.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 08:28 AM   #2
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Hey Sherri-Lynne,
Hope your friend is doing well, that's very nice of you to want to help her, she will probably need a lot of help if this is her first. I have two children, ages 9 & 2, and I might could help a little. First, you said you wanted to give gifts that she couldn't have enough of. Diapers are great, just make sure you don't get all newborn diapers, they don't stay little very long. I noticed you said Vaseline, I got lots of that at my baby shower, not really sure why, my son is now 2 and I have so much of it left. Vaseline is good in tubes, for diaper rashes & things to stick in their diaper bag, but more than 1 or 2 is too many, in my opinion anyway. Diaper rash creme is a great gift, she will need that for a long time, and it never gets old....Balmex is really good. One of the best gifts I ever got was a laundry basket full of stuff....lots of diapers, pajama's are great too, and don't forget the Mommy! Someone at my baby shower got me a a comfy set of pj's, bedroom shoes for delivery & a subscription to 'Parent's' Magazine. Such a great gift. You were talking about tips & tricks for the new mom, you could buy her a parenting book, those are really great. Not only do they cover everything in the newborn stages, but they usually cover everything in the babies first year. You can find those on Amozon, or I have also bought a few from my local dept. stores, Target, Wal-Mart, etc. Goodluck to the mom & baby, and I hope this has helped a little.

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Old 05-04-2004, 12:06 PM   #3
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

I am not sure getting diapers is a good idea. I remember there was only one supermarket brand diaper my daughter used, b/c the expensive brands (Huggies, Pampers) consistently leaked.

Getting her baby shampoos are a good idea. Loreal makes baby/kids shampoos that smells like apricots, mangos, etc.

You may also get her department store gift certificates so she can buy whatever she wants.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 12:18 PM   #4
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Things to give her:

Diapers (newborn and stage 1 for when that morning comes when the little one no longer fits the newborn ones)
Wet Whipes
Burp Rags

Those are my top 3 for a new baby.

Advice:

My only real advice for a new mom is do works for you and ignore most all other advice. Of course read all the books and take the classes and talk to the pediatrician and all that too! But don't feel like just because Great Aunt Lucy did x,y, and z with her kids means that you have to do the same thing. Honestly I'm not just being a smart a-- here this is the best advice I can give... go with that motherly instinct and never feel pressured to do something that doesn't feel right for you or your baby.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 12:36 PM   #5
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Enjoy each stage of your child's development. I found myself saying 'I can't wait till he can talk!'

Have a routine (i.e., feeding, naps, bedtime) but don't be so set on it that you'll let it interupt your life (like not going out at certain times).

Babies cry. Don't let it stress you. It's the only way they know how to communicate. It shouldn't be looked at as a stress factor.

As the baby grows, give him quiet time to explore on his own. Say, 30 min to an hour in his playpen. This will give him the opportunity to learn how to entertain himself and not be dependent on you all the time for stimulation.

Do rock your baby, but don't rock him to sleep. Rock him til he's sleepy then put him down in the crib. He needs to comfort himself to sleep.

And, most of all don't worry about all the do's and don'ts (like don't hold your baby too much).
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Old 05-04-2004, 12:49 PM   #6
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Maybe I'm strange but I was thrilled to get diapers at my baby shower lol!

My fav. things I received... diapers, wipes, sleepers, burp clothes, socks, Balmex..Balmex..and Balmex (lol!), one woman got me this beautiful plaque that you can hang on the wall for when my son gets older that you can write the baby dr., poison control, babysitter's number, family's numbers etc. A friend of my mom's gave me this really beautiful photo album where she already had the pages decorated and I just had to put the pictures in. I'm really sentimental so those gifts really touched me. Oh yeah...I think a baby tub would be a great idea too. I had to rush out and buy one because I got home and realized that I didn't have one!! Of course you don't bathe them right off hand but I wanted to be prepaired.

Advice:

Take advice lovingly but remember..most of it goes in one ear and out the other because nothing really prepares you for those wonderful sleepy middle of the night feedings!

SLEEP whenever your baby sleeps because if you don't it will feel like you cant function!

Don't rush your baby growing up These times are precious!!!!

Even though it's easy to forget yourself the first few months...don't neglect yourself..because that new baby needs you to be healthy and strong for them.

The thing that has helped me the most out of the advice I have received..noone knows your baby like you do! What's wrong for another family might be exactly right for you! Do what makes you and your baby happy! Cuddle with your new baby as much as possible..you can never spoil them by holding them to long/much

Last but not least...all babies develop and grow at their own pace!! Don't get stuck up on time lines for when they should crawl, walk, etc.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 01:45 PM   #7
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Quote:
Originally Posted by sawbuck44
Do rock your baby, but don't rock him to sleep. Rock him til he's sleepy then put him down in the crib. He needs to comfort himself to sleep.
Well see this is the type of advice that I got too and found it didn't work for me. No offense to you sawbuck I actually agree with everthing else you said.

But for me rocking my baby to sleep was the only thing that worked. And she still learned how to comfort herself just fine and sleeps through the night now by herself. She's not clingy or needy or any of the other things people would tell me would happen if I rocked her or nursed her to sleep. Rocking to sleep worked/works for me and my baby. If rocking till sleepy and then putting them down works for you do it. But don't not do it just cause someone tells you you shouldn't. Just my 2 cent opinion of course.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 02:07 PM   #8
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Same for me...I couldn't get my son to sleep unless I rocked him to sleep. I didn't mind because I absolutly love that time. It's so sweet and he and I can really bond. He isn't clingy either and now since he is older he will fall asleep on his own in his crib at night..but even still most nights I like to rock him to sleep. But..to each his own though

 
Old 05-05-2004, 12:20 PM   #9
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Quote:
Originally Posted by littleone314
Same for me...I couldn't get my son to sleep unless I rocked him to sleep. I didn't mind because I absolutly love that time. It's so sweet and he and I can really bond. He isn't clingy either and now since he is older he will fall asleep on his own in his crib at night..but even still most nights I like to rock him to sleep. But..to each his own though
My daughter we say "fights the sleep monster" hardcore! She will do anything and everything to stay awake. We tried the rock till sleepy thing, we tried the cry it out thing and neither worked. She would either just play in her crib till she was so exhausted that she would start to cry and cry and cry... and I'm not just talking fussing cry but BOO-HOOING like she was being abused! That would then make her so upset that by then she was so worked up that she was too tired to sleep. Anyway, like I said... didn't work for us.

So the only way we could get her to sleep would be to join forces with the sleep monster and make her go to sleep. Rock her, nurser her (when she was nursing), put on soft music or ocean sounds cd that is what worked for us. I know some might say we didn't try the other things long enough but they don't know my daughter. And there was no way I was going to stand there and let her screem herself to sleep... not crying mind you SREAMING. That just didn't feel right to me.

Oh and it wasn't like she wants to be rocked to sleep either... she wants to stay awake. She is very VERY independant and likes to be awake and play.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 12:55 PM   #10
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

It's funny because last night after I posted that son will usually fall asleep on his own in his crib...last night he cried and cried and cried to the point that he was gasping because he was loosing his breath. I think he is scared of the dark. When I heard him gasping I went and got him..I sware the neighbors must have thought I was trying to kill him or something.**lol** Most nights he will cry for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and then hes fast asleep. But last night I ended up having to rock him to sleep.

When he was younger nothing but rocking him worked. We tried the soft music but it didn't work. I think it probably would now because he loves music but I'm content with having to rock him if he needs it.

JLKH...how old is your daughter?

 
Old 05-05-2004, 01:28 PM   #11
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Hello, If she is having a boy, make sure she covers up his privates with another diaper when she changes him. Boys can really squirt far! Also, do not put any diaper ointment on a boy's privates or he can wind up with a sore-infection on it.
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Old 05-05-2004, 01:33 PM   #12
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Quote:
Originally Posted by littleone314
It's funny because last night after I posted that son will usually fall asleep on his own in his crib...last night he cried and cried and cried to the point that he was gasping because he was loosing his breath. I think he is scared of the dark. When I heard him gasping I went and got him..I sware the neighbors must have thought I was trying to kill him or something.**lol** Most nights he will cry for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and then hes fast asleep. But last night I ended up having to rock him to sleep.

When he was younger nothing but rocking him worked. We tried the soft music but it didn't work. I think it probably would now because he loves music but I'm content with having to rock him if he needs it.

JLKH...how old is your daughter?
She just turned 13 months. Usually our nightly dance is; Dinner, Bath, Bottle, then some rocking and holding her on my sholder and she's out. She usually will wake up when I put her down in her crib but will go right back to sleep on her own now. She wakes up in the night usually but has no trouble now putting herself back to sleep... as long as she has her blanket that is. I tell ya Linus from Charle Brown has nothin on my daughter! She LOOOVEES her blanket.

She still has bad nights like your son too...especially if she's been sick or is teething (like she is right now... getting all her first molars at once!).

Do you use a nightlight?

 
Old 05-05-2004, 03:41 PM   #13
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Re: Advice to give a 1st time mother

Hey! My son just turned 13 months too. Actually, I don't use a nightlight but he has a small lamp that I use sometimes. I guess I will start having to turn it on for him. Austin isn't attached to any paticular blanket/stuff animal...he loves all of them though. I think it's adorable to see a baby with a little favorite blanket.

Austin is teething right now too...it's not fun

 
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