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Old 05-07-2004, 07:27 PM   #1
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Angry HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

The last couple of days my 4 year old has been bitting his little brother and sister. How can i get him to stop. He bit the blood out of his 1 yr old bother tonight. Then he lied and said his sister done it. When I counted the teeth marks, there were more teeth then his sister has. That is when he told the truth. When he bit his sister he bit her right beside of her eye, and left a big bruse.
I need to get him to stop before the little ones think it is ok to bite and start doing it.Thanks for any suggestions.
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Old 05-07-2004, 07:34 PM   #2
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

Well, this is two fold. He is old enough to know that biting is wrong but he is also old enough to know that lying is wrong. You didn't mention the consequence for this?

I take a hard line on this. Lying is ALWAYS a spanking at my house. I make them play by themselves when they bite and let them know that if they can't play nice with the group, then they can't play with the group. Your rights end where another's begin and that behavior will not be tolerated.

It sounds like you have a lot of little kids like I do. Mine are 4, 3, and 21 months. I notice that they sometimes do things for attention. Bad attention is better than no attention. I wonder if doing something with him because he is the oldest would help. Good luck to you
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Old 05-07-2004, 10:55 PM   #3
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

Hmm, I used to be a biter too when I was 4...I would bite my mom's ex-boyfriend's daughter in an act of self-defense.

But biting for no reason? Hmm...well you could bite him back but I think that might be abuse? I don't know; I thought in this day and age, spanking was considered child abuse. Today parents are expected to reason with their kids...that's kind of funny. Biting should be punished with a good old fashioned time-out, but if he bites so hard that he draws blood, that might need a small love tap. Lying, well, I think being caught in the act without a plausible counterattack fib and spilling the truth out and feeling defeat is punishment enough XD.

But perhaps a second love tap is in order if lying continues. No matter how you decide to handle this, I wish you the best of luck with you and the young nipper.


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Old 05-08-2004, 08:59 AM   #4
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

My youngest also tried biting for a couple of weeks. He "learned" this at the babysitter's after being bitten himself a couple times. After this, he would bite his older brother and sister when he became frustrated. He is the youngest and he would use this as a "defense" mechanism. We dealt with this immediately. He got a spanking immediately following the act, and then later we would discuss with him why biting was wrong. If you are going to spank them, it needs to be immediately following the act because at that young age if you wait to punish them they will not know why you are punishing them. They won't equate biting with spanking unless it is immediate. Our little biter only tried it about 3 or 4 times before he discovered better ways to deal with his frustration.

As far as the spanking thing goes, we are Southern Baptists and we believe in that spare the rod spoil the child addage. With that said, we also pick and choose our battles. Our 10 year old is ADHD and spanking just does not work with him. It would be pointless. It has to be a major infraction of the rules to warrant a spanking in our house. And yes, we considered biting a major infraction. One thing I will stress is, NEVER, NEVER, strike your child if you are angry. They should know they are being punished because you love them, not because you are "angry" with them.

You could always use some good ole child psychiatry on him, tell him if he continues to bite you are going to buy him a teething ring like the babies use.

God Bless,
Sherry
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Old 05-13-2004, 09:40 AM   #5
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

We have tried biting the child but that is really hard to do. You feel pretty bad afterwards. Soap always works well in our house. Anything involving the mouth (biting, bad words and lying) gets some soap to wash away those bad things. We make the child bite down on the bar of soap while in timeout. Just be sure not to leave it in too long. My mom always used Ivory but I have found any kind works (it all tastes bad).

 
Old 05-13-2004, 10:48 AM   #6
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kjudi
We make the child bite down on the bar of soap while in timeout.
Haven't there been some warnings lately that soap this way can be toxic to children?

 
Old 05-13-2004, 12:46 PM   #7
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

I suspect that eating large amounts can be harmful. I would not recommend eating a bar of soap. Putting a bar of soap in a child's mouth for a couple of minutes is not going to have any adverse health effects.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 02:52 PM   #8
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kjudi
I suspect that eating large amounts can be harmful. I would not recommend eating a bar of soap. Putting a bar of soap in a child's mouth for a couple of minutes is not going to have any adverse health effects.

I'm sorry. I have never heard of this! Sounds..umm...kinda harsh to me...Exactly, what is to come out of it? Just curious!

Thanks!

 
Old 05-15-2004, 02:40 PM   #9
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

Kjudi,

Ivory is 99% pure. Nothing to hurt you in it.

Soap would never have worked for my middle child. He always would suck on the bar of soap in the bath tub. My husband and I used to laugh about it, saying washing his mouth out with soap would never work for him.

God Bless,
Sherry
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Old 05-15-2004, 03:03 PM   #10
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

well when my daughter was about 2 she bite my dad and he bite her right back , he did not break the skin but he made sure that there were little marks. and she never bite anyone ever again... she is 9 now...

 
Old 06-01-2004, 04:42 AM   #11
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

My older boys are 27 and 25 now but the 27 year old was a biter!! No kid was safe within 20 feet on him. When his brother came along he was always biting him. I was embarassed and at my wits end. Around age 41/2 or so he was still biting on day he bit his brother and broke the skin so I had to take the 2year old to the Dr. while there I talked out the problem with the Dr. who then asked to speak to the 4 year old alone. After 20min. my son came out a little pale and refused to say what the Dr. said. A week later their Dr. was killed in a house fire so I never got to ask him what he said to my son. My son never bit again and as a 27year old Sargent in the Marine Corp and a father of 3 still won't tell me. My guess he told my son he was going to pull out every tooth he had if he ever bit again. I'll never know my son just laughs and said he's taking that secret to his grave. Good Luck.

 
Old 06-11-2004, 09:28 PM   #12
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

Some might think that this is cruel, but it worked for my mom and it worked for me. When they bite:
1) Show them the bite mark that they made
2) Ask why they bit (more than likely they won't give an answer, but ask anyway)
3) Tell them that it is not nice to bite because it hurts
4) Tell them to give you their finger
5) Bite their finger (not real hard, just hard enough for them to feel it)
6) Ask them if it hurt (of course they are going to say yes)
7) Tell them that when they bite others that it hurts them the same way

This will take a couple of tries, but it works. My 3 year old and 20 month old use to bite each other all of the time. It took about 2 weeks of doing this before it quit completely.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 04:15 PM   #13
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Angry Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

On the 1 occasion that our now 7 year old twins bit each other one day when they were about 4 or 5 yr old ,they were having a argument the boy bit his sister on her right hand drawing blood,my wife who was close by pulled him to one side and while i sorted out our daughters hand ,my wife hit our son 10 times on his bare bum and it never happened again
i feel that for any biting by a child 4 and over a hard spanking is deserved and hopefully will not happen again

 
Old 08-29-2005, 04:58 PM   #14
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

My sister went through this w/ her toddler, and I did some online research. Apparently the best thing is to immediately ISOLATE the child, put him away in a crib, a little room. Don't talk, don't yell, don't do anything, just make sure he's ALONE and ABANDONED. Meanwhile, give lots of attention to the kid who was bitten. I honestly don't remember if this worked w/ her boy, but she did get him to stop biting very soon after that.

The web site said this: Lots of kids bite. It's just something they do, who knows why. If you give them attention for it, negative or positive, they'll be encouraged to do it again. My theory is that they do it because they like it.

I don't know about sticking Ivory soap in their mouths. I've had soap crammed in my mouth at a young age, but Ivory? It makes me itch. I think I'm allergic to it. You might want to try something gentler.

 
Old 09-03-2005, 01:38 PM   #15
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Re: HELP!! 4 yr old bitting little brother and sister.

My 3 yr old bit my 6 mth old on the finger. I was in the restroom when this happened and I was just finishing when I hear the baby cry like he never had before, so I'm running to living room while trying to get my pants on and asking the oldest what happened. He was hiding behind a chair whimpering, I asked if he bit the baby he said yes and then I saw the teeth marks on his little finger. I may have over reacted a bit, but he got a spanking and I bit his finger so he could see that it hurts. So far there hasn't been any more bitting, so maybe my reaction was the right one.

 
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