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Old 05-11-2004, 09:35 AM   #1
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Question 4 year old throwing huge fits all the time...

My friend has a 4 year old daughter that screams and cry's every time she doesn't get her way. For example, if we go to a store and she wants something (she always wants something) and her mom says no, she screams (very, very loud) and cry's. Sometimes the fits last up to an hour (even after leaving the store). Trying to get her out of the store is a nightmare cuz of her loud screaming and crying (it sounds like she's being murdered). This happens *every* single time we go to the store (any store).

My friend says she's talked to other people and they say it's normal, but I can't believe that it is or I would be seeing it all the time when I go to stores.

Any one with daughters know if this is normal or not?

 
Old 05-11-2004, 02:28 PM   #2
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Re: 4 year old throwing huge fits all the time...

No it is not normal, then again it is. Most of the time much depends on the discipline at home. If the child gets her way most of time at home she will expect to get it when out. Some children seem to be born with a desire to push parents to the limit.

Have you noticed the parents saying "no" and then later giving in? If so, this is what will increase the child's negative behavior. Children need to learn what "no" is and when told no, it should stand.

 
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Old 05-13-2004, 09:27 AM   #3
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Re: 4 year old throwing huge fits all the time...

Marie's answer was also my first thought. That is, that she's somehow learned that she'll eventually get what she wants if she prolongs her "fits".

On the other hand, some kids get locked into what is called "negative persistence" and they just can't seem to stop themselves. This is often true with ADHD children.

The book called "The Difficult Child" might help your friend, but if she thinks this is normal behavior, she isn't likely to be receptive to your suggestion!

 
Old 05-16-2004, 03:22 AM   #4
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Re: 4 year old throwing huge fits all the time...

i have 2 daughters, one is 6 and te other is 8. My 6 year old used to do exactly what you've described, she would get totally out of control if she wanted something and didn't get it.

I am very consistent with my kids and it wasn't a matter of screaming until she got her way...she would just scream hysterically until she simply couldn't scream anymore. The first few times it happened i didn't know how to handle it, trying to comfort her while still standing my ground and not giving in.

the last time she did this was about a year ago and it started with her eating ice cream on the couch which is not allowed. I told her to go to the table and eat and she refused so i took the ice cream away and put it at the table. she started her screaming and refused to move to the table, she would scream so loud i was concerned neighbors may think she was being beaten. i made her go to her room and shut her door where she proceeded to throw things at the door and kick the walls. finally i went in and held her in my lap while she writhed and screamed until she fell asleep (approx an hour and a half from start to finish). and this was a typical fit for her....it was horrible.

there haven't been any significant changes in her life in the past year but that was the last time she had a fit of that magnitude.....it's been a good year

just be patient with your friend's daughter...i know it can be a real pain to spend time with someone who has a child that is out of control. just be glad she doesn't give in, it'll go away on it's own as long as she's consistent.
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