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Old 05-31-2004, 07:36 PM   #1
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18 and still have a curfew?

Just wondering if there is any other 18 year olds that live at home and still have a curfew? My mom always let me stay out till 1:30 am .. or leave where I am at 1:30 I should say.. and I recently turned 18 and I thought it would be a little different, but it hasn't been different, and when I ask my mom about it she gets really angry. I am just getting really stressed out about it. I guess 1:30 could be late enough, but it seems like all the other people I know don't have a curfew because they're 18. Anyone else?
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Old 05-31-2004, 08:25 PM   #2
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

As long as you are living your parents home thier rules apply.If you get a job,pay rent,help buy groceries,help with house work too.You live there you help........

 
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Old 05-31-2004, 08:34 PM   #3
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

I am in my twenties and have moved back with my parents ...and they still feel uneasy about me comming home late. I remeber those days when i was 18. My mom was the same way, but its true, as long as they are paying for your whole life. The rules must apply. Its sucks, but reall in the end, she is just looking out for your well being.

 
Old 05-31-2004, 08:39 PM   #4
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

Thanks guys
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Old 06-01-2004, 06:13 AM   #5
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

In my case it has to do with sleep/ My son will be 18 in july. His curfew now is 12 midnight. I have told him that when he is living at home what he does after he turns 18 is his thing.
BUT if he is living in my house then he will have to respect others. Meaning , don't come home at 2 in the morning and wake the others in the house up. I have a hard time sleeping anyway due to pain so if I am woken up it is then hard to get back to sleep.
As an 18 year old you are legally adult but it doesn't mean that maturity does not happen at the exact minute you turn 18. Things were different for most of us when we were 18. Drinking was legal, but drinking and driving is never legal. A mother never quits worrying about her children whether they are 7, 17 or 27 and so on. When you think about why your Mom has set her rules {maybe infractions broken before} then you will understand her point of view.
Be safe and remember that life is something to live and if you mess up it can be gone in a blink of the eye.
I hope this didn't come across as "harping" I really just wanted you to see how much your mom loves you.
Bonnie

 
Old 06-01-2004, 10:29 AM   #6
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

I think what it boils down to is no good is done at that time of night. That's when all the freaks, weirdo's and crimonals come out (not too say you are any one of those). I think if you want to stay out late maybe arrange to stay at someone's house that you are going out with. What on earth could you possibly have to do after 1:30am?

Last edited by MandyAnne26; 06-01-2004 at 10:30 AM.

 
Old 06-01-2004, 08:37 PM   #7
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MandyAnne26
I think what it boils down to is no good is done at that time of night. That's when all the freaks, weirdo's and crimonals come out (not too say you are any one of those). I think if you want to stay out late maybe arrange to stay at someone's house that you are going out with. What on earth could you possibly have to do after 1:30am?
Every Friday and Saturday night I go with my boyfriend to his band practice to listen to them play. Others also come and we hang out. Then afterwards we hang out, or go to Perkins to eat. We don't really do anything that my mom has to worry about. We sometimes drink, but if I drink then I stay where I am, and if my boyfriend drinks I make sure I get him home or he stays there. But the place where they used to have band practice was at my boyfriend's house, which is about 3 miles away. My mom knows WHERE I am and WHAT I'm doing every night because it's always there. So I don't see waht the big deal is about staying out later. But the band has moved to the guitar player's house which is 17 miles from where we live. So now I go there... My mom also waits up for me every night or I have to wake her up when I get home. I wish she would tell me not to wake her up when I get home............. it's not like she remembers it anyway cuz she's like half-awake. Anyway.. anybody else?
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Old 06-02-2004, 05:27 AM   #8
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

You’re bringing me back to memory lane here - I'm 42 - so bare with me.

I too had a curfew when I was 18 - my curfew was 12:00 and I also had a very mean mother to boot - I was not allowed to go to college - as my mother put it - WHY do you need college your a woman, find a man and get married. SO I worked full time gave her most of my money because she demanded it and still had all these rules - I was not allowed to even have a guy over the house to pick me up for a date. So, I moved out. Period.
I shared an apartment with my two sisters and it was the best time of my life.
Funny thing is - the freedom for me was just hanging out like you have mentioned in your post - some nights I just stayed in. The strict rules my mother instilled in me made me want to "show" her that I was a good kid just wanted some of my freedom and able to come and go as I choose.

You’re lucky who has a mother who cares for you; she is not trying to be anything other then a caring mother who loves you and wants you safe.

I now have a 15 1/2 yr old son - his curfew now is 11:00 on weekends -
Thank god for cell phones and I keep in touch w/him and if he is running late on his curfew he is to call because he knows - I go ballistic worrying. I dread when he turns 18 - I will give him a curfew like yours - I will be waiting up for him as your mother does too - All I ask for is to know where he is and if he is ok - That's what parents do - Love You, Care about you, and WORRY worry worry - Don't blame your mom, don't fight with her, tell her you love her for caring so much about you, staying up late because she wants you home safe -

Sad as it is - Should something ever happen to you, your mother will know the last place you were and the time frame - this is something that I have explained to my son, it's not the trust issue it's the safety of your life and a very caring mom..

Your curfew is normal, and if you need to spend the night at your boyfriends let your mother know at an earlier time frame – and call her before you go to sleep or first thing in the morning.

 
Old 06-02-2004, 06:51 AM   #9
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Mommyof4 HB User
Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

Well, you admit that you drink which is illegal for your age. That could be one reason why she doesnt just leave your nights open ended. Alcohol impairs your judgement and it doesn't matter what age you are. All that being said, you seem to be thinking about what you deserve from the situation but you haven't mentioned what you have earned.

In my house, things were just not a given because of a certain age. Something like drinking would have resulted in not getting to go out at all. I had to earn the right for later curfews. I also know that at 18, you think that you are an adult and can handle yourself out there in the world. I thought the same thing until I was an 18 year old mother. Things like that always happen to someone else until they happen to you. I found out that being an adult had nothing to do with curfews and drinking. It had to do with being grown up enough to go into work dog tired because we needed the money. It had to do with wanting to buy things for myself but my daughter needed clothes. There are so many lessons I learned about being an adult only after I was given the responsibillity of one.

Another reason why she may not want you staying out until whenever is that your parents have worked all of their lives to aquire the things that they have. It makes a person very uncomfortable to people to come in and out of their home at all hours of the night. If you watch the news at all, you lock your door at night. Knowing that anyone can come into your home or worse yet, that your child is out there amongst all of that can be very unsettling.

I think you need to try to step into her shoes to see where she is coming from instead of trying to get her to come around to your way of thinking. Soon, you will have your own place. When that time comes, you will have all of the rights and responsibillities of any other adult.
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Old 06-02-2004, 04:53 PM   #10
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

Hi when I was 18 my curfew was 1 am. I always disobeyed it anyways and got in trouble. But I remember it seemed like nobody else my age had a curfew and it made me so mad. But then again I look back and remember I was doing stuff I shouldn't have been doing when I was out late. If you are just staying over a friend's house then I guess it is different. I am 21 now and can't really blame my parents cause I guess they care. By the way... I still would have a curfew if I lived at home. sometimes it just never ends.

 
Old 06-03-2004, 06:09 PM   #11
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usedtobefrosty HB User
Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

Once I graduated from hig school (at 17yrs old) the rules were as follows, and set down by my mother.
1. You don't help pay the bills and but groceries, clean, etc... you have no say. The rules are the rules. Midnight and quiet are the laws.
2. If you do help out financially and around the house, you can come in whenever you want, as long as you are QUIET! If you wake up everyone else because you are drunk, loud, etc... your keys will be taken and you're in by midnight, or not until 8am.

And that was that.
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Old 06-04-2004, 10:08 AM   #12
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

I used to feel the same way- this is like a right of passage. LOL
You think when you are 18 that you are an adult and should be treated as such. WELL, let me tell you- you will realize at about age 29- that you didn't know it all, that you would have listened to your parents and how big an idiot you were when you argued with them over such things as a curfew.

It was simple in my mother's house- it's her house and her rules, if you don't like it then you can move and pay your own rent, buy your own groceries, clothing, etc. etc.

Which of course is what I did- only to find out that in my "all knowing, all seeing" greatness I didn't realize that with all of that comes major responsibility- you have to work your butt off to pay those bills, you end up asleep at 11pm because you are too exhausted to go out PLUS you spent all your money on bills and don't have any to go out on anyway.

You will realize this later in life.

You can either accept Mom's rules and respect it or you can try it on your own- you are going to do what you want to do anyway- because that's what 18 year olds do, nothing anyone can say will change your mind. It's that automatic Brain Freeze that hits at about 17 and lasts until you are about 23.

Good luck!

 
Old 06-04-2004, 10:55 AM   #13
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lilsunshine46 HB User
Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

Unfortunately all of us who have answered have the benefit of having been 18 once and realize as Maak said that you don't know the what you do now. I often think I would never be a teenager again. It is a time in your life when you want to know everything but really can't know everything until you live it. I am a firm believer that we learn valuable{and sometimes painful} lessons from our mistakes.
B

 
Old 06-07-2004, 03:19 PM   #14
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

I have realized all this at 21 now. I was so stupid at 18 and regret so many decisions I made! I thought I was grown up and my parents were just "living in the old days". I also drank when I was 18 and have to admit that alcohol can get you in a lot of trouble and you may look back later on and have regrets. Most parents don't like the idea of their teenage daughter out drinking and being with her boyfriend late at night. Of course I did all these things when I was 18 and my parents would have killed me if they knew the 1/2 of it! I look back and don't blame them one bit for not wanting me to do that stuff. Of course you probably won't listen to anyone on here cause I sure wouldn't have back then but you will realize when your older. I think most people can totally relate to your situation!

 
Old 06-07-2004, 03:31 PM   #15
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Re: 18 and still have a curfew?

I raised three daughters. Each one of them had to follow rules as long as they lived under my roof, age 18 or not. One rule was a curfew. One daughter, my youngest, left home at 17. She had graduated from high school, wanted to be a soldier like her father and today is a staff sergeant in the Army. She's been in 12 years and has three children of her own. My middle daughter left at almost 20, she followed the rules. My oldest left when she was 18, but returned at 23 with her daughter to live with me. No, she didn't have a curfew, but if she went out I made certain I knew where she was going and when she planned to return. I was not a built-in babysitter either. She had to be home at the prescribed time or I wouldn't watch my granchild again for a few weeks.

Think I'm too tough?

 
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