It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-15-2004, 03:01 PM   #1
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York State
Posts: 410
daystar91 HB User
School

Hi,
Need some advice on how to let me youngest son 5 know that he will be held back this year without it hurting him in any way???My son is being held back by my choice because his teacher suggested it will be better for him....Unfortunatley it's mostly because of the school but the teacher he has this year is wonderful, my oldest had her for a teacher as well....Last year in Pre-k the teacher there tried to make him right handed even though he is a left handed child....The teacher and her helper tried to tell me that if he starts off walking with his right foot that means he is right handed....Wrong i always have known that my son was left handed that is the hand he has always used....So now in Kindergarden he is having some trouble in writing and drawing....This teacher is sending him to therapy to corrected what they have messed up....
Also last year i asked for them to check into speech for my son but at first they said that in time his speach will develope.......It did not so they had him do summer school for speech.....Now this year they told me in the begining that he doesn't need speech, now at the end of the year with only three weeks of school left they tell me that he needs speech.....I am so upset with this school....It's so hard to tell my son that he will be held back but i know that it's for the best to help him.....I try to do what i can at home with him but it's so hard with kids cause when they are home from school they don't want to do any more learning....He just wants to play....

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-16-2004, 09:08 AM   #2
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood, FL - USA
Posts: 1,000
KimRick HB User
Re: School

My daughter, now 8, has a big stuttering problem. She has been seeing a speech teacher every Thusday in school since she was in Kindergarten. She has never been held back because of that. Why are they trying to correct your son's hand writing capabilities?! In case they don't know, there are other left-handed children in this world. That could be part of the problem - instead of letting the child be with his left hand, maybe they're saying he's not capable because he's trying with his right and unless he's ambidextrious (sp?), they should leave him alone! I would SERIOUSLY complain about this and maybe move him into a different school. It seems to me that the only thing that they're doing is confusing the child. As far as playing when he gets home and not doing homework, all kids are like that. You just have to be stearn with him and tell him that homework comes first and then you play.

 
Old 06-16-2004, 09:25 AM   #3
Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 477
HeyThere HB User
Re: School

Is this a state school certified?

I am in the opposite situation but here is what I have to offer.

Do you have to tell him some state schools start at age 7 first grade so does he really have to know. Is Kindergarten mandatory in your state?

It is an enrichment kindergarten:

He gets to make more friends; he gets a sounder educational structure; better teacher; more play time; more arts and crafts; snack time.


There probably is not a state ciriculum for the kindergarten anyway so he did not fail the school failed to meet his educational needs through lack of proper assessment.
__________________
Peace

 
Old 06-16-2004, 07:15 PM   #4
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York State
Posts: 410
daystar91 HB User
Re: School

This school that my kids go to is suppose to be rated one of the top ten school in the state....As for Kindergarden mandatory i'm not....I started both my kids off from pre-k but i do know that there are some parents who have waited on pre-k but i don't know about kindergarden....The problem with his left hand is that he is confused....Writing or drawling is becoming difficult for him this year because of what they taught him last year and to what they are trying to correct this year....I hope that kind of make sense....Last year they tried to make him use his right hand and showed him ways of doing it that way so he was struggling with that....Now when the teacher notice a problem this year she is sending him to therapy to help correct the problem with just used his dominent hand so he is doing better than the begining of the year but she thinks that he could use another year to help him so he doesn't struggle in grade one....She notice the problem right away....

 
Old 06-16-2004, 09:03 PM   #5
Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 477
HeyThere HB User
Re: School

You know what works for my daughter it might work for your son is I bought a few nick jr type watercolor books/color books and wiggles cheap reader books and gave her a pair of saftey scissors I asked her to cut the silouettes out and she did and she was enjoying it and asking for more. I did teach her how the thumb goes in the top loop and to turn the paper/page as she was cutting. This may undo what they did to him. Hand eye coordination is key prior to handwriting. He can undo the damage that teacher did to him --kids are very resillient (sp). Was this a private school I should hope they waive the extra tuition and pay for any psychological issues they caused him telling him he was not doing it right or incorrectlly.

For years I used to do things like carry things backwards according to my family even a hamburger furniture etc.; held scissors wrong; had bad penmanship in elm. school. Why? Who knows maybe I was meant to be left handed- but I have adapted to being right handed.

Do you have an opinion on what you would do if you were in my shoes for my post --I am really desperate for any wisdom not attacks just wisdom so feel free to reply to my post.

 
Old 06-17-2004, 07:42 AM   #6
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood, FL - USA
Posts: 1,000
KimRick HB User
Re: School

I don't understand what the problem is with being left-handed and why it should be "corrected".

 
Old 06-17-2004, 03:56 PM   #7
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York State
Posts: 410
daystar91 HB User
Re: School

I really don't know what the problem is with being left handed, my mother is left handed and never had any problems....My in laws tell me well it's a right handed world....If that's the case it's horrible that people think that there is only one way of doing things....I don't really know why the school tried to change him from left to right...The only thing i ever got out of the teacher last year was that he started off with his right foot when he walks so that means he is right handed....I've never heard anything like that before...I think what they did behind my back was try to corrected it....The teacher this year notice the struggle but still she knew what the more domminent hand was the left hand....So what i gather is that he was using both hands and was confused on which hand to use but used his left hand more... This year they watched him to see what hand he was using the most and let him figure which hand he wanted to use so he came back to the left...Then when he decided what hand he was going to write and draw with now they will work with him on his writing....

 
Old 06-18-2004, 05:57 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 189
apinecone HB User
Re: School

Grr! I and many lefties have had this problem-- it's literally insult heaped upon injury. Here's a view:

Many people alive today remember the fate of left-handed children in many schools earlier in this century. In my father's time, many left-handed children literally had their left arms tied to their bodies during the first few years of school so they could learn to write "properly" with their right hands. They were, of course, suffering from what was believed to be a defect of brain wiring: left-handed disorder.

I remember a friend, now in his late 70's, telling me with tears in his eyes what a humiliating and painful experience it was to be so segregated from his peers, what a struggle it was to try to cut paper for art class or learn good penmanship, and how he was labeled a "slow learner" because he was focusing so much of his energy on trying to use his right hand.

While it's obvious to us all what a wounding experience not fitting into those schools left-handers had, most miss entirely how painful it is for ADHD children in today's public schools. The brains of ADHD children are not wired to be good items for an assembly line, and they don't fit into the factories that our schools have become.


Talk about frustration! A person with ADD, perhaps mood swingy, probably depressive because of both, then having misguided 'schooling' 'behavioral correction' added to that by short-circuiting his natural tendency to be left-handed .

LE(f)T me say that again: Grr! Here's what happened in my brain: "ok if this pencil were in my left hand where would it go rounding this "f" on the top side from right to left and then --wait-- no that's right-- right to left, then down and then circle around LEFT to RIGHT. Oooohhh!!! ARGH. OK. [Wait, teacher's saying I'm too slow.] [Ooohh panicking! Hurry up, me!] Ok, just do it. [[Right handed brain writes "f" right-handed while thinking left-handed and each teeny tiny movement is re-called, re-translated, re-directed]]...oooohhh!! I'lll nEVER get this. I'm going to have to just quit. I didn't even get the top of the "F". I'm going to GET and F. [Brain instructs left-hand to throw pencil down on desk. Left hand takes pencil from right hand and throws pencil on desk.... Brain smolders..Left-hand brain thinks right-hand brain is stupid...left-hand brain apologizes to right-hand brain/left-hand brain was just reeally frustrated/right-hand brain says ok i understand but I'M the one who's been humiliated!..left-hand brain says [depressively, dejectedly]...yeah, I know and says to teacher 'I'm sorry mr/ms x, I'm sorry I just can't GET this!!....."
That the teacher is standing directly over the child at his/her desk and that alone is a form of humiliation and drawing attention once again to the fact that s/he has a 'problem' is an issue but not while the child is intensively involved in the exercise. Even afterwards, when the child's brain is racing through the re-experience trying desperately to figure out how COULD it be done 'correctly' in time. Grr!

And that's just ONE, albeit micro-mini panick attack. I used to get my toes drumming in my shoes a mile a minute while i was trying to do the letters. Why!? Concentration. I had to re-iterate this mental re-training cycle so fast that it was necessary to keep my attention on my body somehow so that I wouldn't lose focus. I know. Strange. Teachers often interpret the frustration and agitation in situations like this as further evidence that a child has a 'faulty' brain. There's another heaping of injury on insult on injury. Now, the child is not only faulty and requires remediation but is faulty because he can't be remediated without frustration and signs of ANGER.

Child then has to suppress showing signs of anger so that teacher will not further isolate and injure child. Child starts drumming toes and fingers while sitting in class, even when not having to be doing re-writing. Teacher is watching child. Teacher is thinking child is agitated. Child is knowing that teacher is watching and seeing that child is agitated.

====
And this goes on ALL the time, EVERY day until something breaks the cycle.
-----

Sorry to get so agitated-like. Maybe I don't have to tell you what it's like/you already know. But just in case you don't, I hope you do now. It's a mental nightmare. In my mind this is a form of trauma. The effects on a child are exactly the same. They get triggered at the very thought of having to be re-trained on anything 'remedial'. Think about the dread a child starts to feel when starting another exercise, knowing in advance that it's going to turn into a disaster the outcome of which is GUARANTEED to be traumatic. Think about how this child's mind is trying to RUN AWAY AND HIDE!! Pre-panic, heart-pounding a bit. Fingers and toes drumming. Johnny are you ok? Settle down over there! ok ok i can be calm. i hate this but i can do it. i can be calm.

See, this keeps coming back and back.... Teachers, not just teachers really do NOT get this part. It's a form of ignorance in the very people that (a) ought to know better, and (b) are in charge of your DS/DD for long periods of time. Hmmmm....what's wrong with this picture? This is not to blame or single-out teachers, but to focus attention on the plight of the child. It could be any 'socially remediative' context-- and there are many. I once had a coach make me put my left-hand in my pants and then play catch with him with my right hand. And then I got 'good' enough to play in the game. Oh yeah, with one hand in my pants. Insult on injury insult on injury.

 
Old 06-18-2004, 06:18 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 189
apinecone HB User
Re: School

But there ARE silver-linings sometimes in black clouds: I became effectively ambi[dextrous]. I can do some things that almost everybody cannot. A simple example is doing plumbing or cutting hair-- doing tasks in which a 'normal' person would have to keep putting down eg the right-handed wrench or the right-handed scissors, pick up the material, pick up the etc etc.
There are other compensations that get picked up along the way of being 'different'. Like 'self'-control; being able to manage anger. My 'breaking point' [ADD distractability aside] is usually quite a bit farther than 'normal' people because of having to work on improving it so much. And with the ability (yes, ability not disability in this context) to 'hyperfocus' or become engrossed in tasks helps to rivet concentration on a given task to the exclusion of others. Definitely comes in handy [pun intended] sometimes.
I would recommend tuning into these silver-linings that might be happening in your DS/DD and nurturing them, esp. the anger mgmt. Turn it to good use not the other way. It takes re-inforcement but there are so many situations where it comes up, the more one can think positive about it the more it's likely to turn out better than it would otherwise, and maybe even RIGHT!

 
Old 06-18-2004, 06:35 AM   #10
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 77
Jezzie25 HB User
Re: School

I have been a teacher for over 30 years. I can tell you that the first 3 years are the most important in a child's education--if they don't get it there then they will struggle in later grades. Think of it as a house with a good foundation. If your school is rated so high in the state, then there should be lots of help available. Most of the time, also, the teachers at these schools are some of the best, because the principal will find a way to transfer the poor teachers in order to maintain the high rating. Parents always want the best for their child and sometimes they are too anxious to push their children when maturity-wise the child isn't ready. It is hard for me to believe that a teacher would try to change the hand that the child writes with--that's something that might have happened in the dark ages.

 
Old 06-18-2004, 09:38 AM   #11
Inactive
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood, FL - USA
Posts: 1,000
KimRick HB User
Re: School

I would seriously question why these teachers & maybe a higher authority as to why they are trying to correct something as natural as writing with your left hand. It's obviously confusing the child and making it even harder on him to learn and write properly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jezzie25
I have been a teacher for over 30 years. I can tell you that the first 3 years are the most important in a child's education--if they don't get it there then they will struggle in later grades. Think of it as a house with a good foundation. If your school is rated so high in the state, then there should be lots of help available. Most of the time, also, the teachers at these schools are some of the best, because the principal will find a way to transfer the poor teachers in order to maintain the high rating. Parents always want the best for their child and sometimes they are too anxious to push their children when maturity-wise the child isn't ready. It is hard for me to believe that a teacher would try to change the hand that the child writes with--that's something that might have happened in the dark ages.

 
Old 06-18-2004, 08:46 PM   #12
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York State
Posts: 410
daystar91 HB User
Re: School

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jezzie25
I have been a teacher for over 30 years. I can tell you that the first 3 years are the most important in a child's education--if they don't get it there then they will struggle in later grades. Think of it as a house with a good foundation. If your school is rated so high in the state, then there should be lots of help available. Most of the time, also, the teachers at these schools are some of the best, because the principal will find a way to transfer the poor teachers in order to maintain the high rating. Parents always want the best for their child and sometimes they are too anxious to push their children when maturity-wise the child isn't ready. It is hard for me to believe that a teacher would try to change the hand that the child writes with--that's something that might have happened in the dark ages.

Hi,
Well believe it or not that is exactly what happen....When i went for a teacher conference last year in pre-k his teacher, i asked her if he was left handed because i notice at home that he was only using his left hand so i wanted to see what he used at school....She told me NO because when he walked he started off with his right foot...So she told me that he was right handed....So when they made him write or drawl it was only to be done with his right hand.....I did not know that they were making him use his right hand until the end of pre-k or i would have put a stop to it before the damage was done....My sons teacher this year has also told me that she argues with two other teachers about what hand children should be writing with....His teacher lets the kids decide for themselves but these other two ladies think it's there job to make them right handed....The teacher my son has this year is an aquantance on the outside of school, this is why i know a little more than i should what is going on in the school with some of the teachers..

 
Old 06-19-2004, 09:32 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,048
Mommyof4 HB User
Re: School

I don't know what to make of this. I am a dominant leftie! I write like I am in kindergarten with my right hand!!LOL The only thing is that I throw a ball right handed and start walking with my right foot. To me, what this teacher is saying makes no sense. I think I would ask for a study on left handed people starting off with their right foot. It doesn't seem to me that there is any connection
__________________
Mindy (Type 1 Dx'd 11/94..Insulin Pump)

 
Old 06-19-2004, 11:02 AM   #14
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 22
chico HB User
Re: School

I am a fifth grade teacher-trying to change a child's writing hand to the other is outrageous. I also would reconsider holding him back in kindergarten, unless the kindergarten he is in is highly excelerated. Going on to the first grade and maybe have to repeat it would probably benefit your child more than repeating kindergarten.

 
Old 06-19-2004, 04:19 PM   #15
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York State
Posts: 410
daystar91 HB User
Re: School

Quote:
Originally Posted by chico
I am a fifth grade teacher-trying to change a child's writing hand to the other is outrageous. I also would reconsider holding him back in kindergarten, unless the kindergarten he is in is highly excelerated. Going on to the first grade and maybe have to repeat it would probably benefit your child more than repeating kindergarten.

In our school we have no excelerated kindergarden this is just regular kindergarden.....As a parent asking another teacher if the child is having difficulty in, well i'm sure you have read this thread, about the left hand issue....What do think about holding him back???She said that it also wouldn't hurt him because his birthday falls in Sept...At first i had a hard time figuring out how kids can be held back in kindergarden....His teacher has gave me the option of holding him back and telling me that she would recommend it....So after a long talk with my husband and other family members i came to a very hard decision to let them hold him back....Was i wrong???I feel so torn i don't know what is the right decision i just want the best for my son....His teacher feels if i were to push him on to grade one that he will struggle than he will be held back, which it will be harder for him because of going over to the elementry school and seeing all his friends go on but him....

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My son's problem with sharing in school Belly Kelly Children's Health 9 05-13-2010 02:28 AM
Please Help Fast 6 Year old doesn't want to go to school!!! pengworm79 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 5 01-27-2008 09:22 PM
need help with fight against school PLEASE mommanut ADD / ADHD 5 04-02-2007 12:09 PM
Liam's school experience (long & sad) soozeq Autism Spectrum 13 11-13-2006 08:16 AM
Going from private school to public school georgie34 Parenting Issues 7 06-08-2005 10:32 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:33 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!