Thank you for responding. I needed to hear someone else's thoughts instead of just the ones that are roaring through my head. I have spoken to my daughter a great many times about sex, and the importance of practicing safe sex, but I guess I didn't getting through. I remember being her age very well, and I had so hoped that she would make smarter decisions than I did. I had hoped to better prepare her for making those decisions than my mother prepared me.
As for her boyfriend, I would so love to wring his neck, but niave as I may want
to be, he did not do this alone. As for his sexual experience, I really don't know for sure. Yesterday I would have said he was a virgin, but today, who knows. He and my daughter have been together for nearly a year now, and they have been good for each other. Since they go to different schools and live in neighboring towns we have been pretty confident in our ability to supervise their relationship. Perhaps a bit too confident.
Of course there are many aspects of this situation that upset me, but by far the irresponsibility of not practicing safe sex is about the worst part of it. My daughter and I have had a great many conversations about the necessity of practicing safe sex, without
exception. She received sex education at school, and from her own gynocologist when she started taking birth control pills. At that time I was concerned that she might think that because she was already taking birth control, for an unrelated matter, that she would feel "safe" in not taking additional precautions. At the time she assured me that she would of course use condoms to prevent STD's, and was adamant that she was not sexaully active nor was planning to be in the near future.
My husband and I have now spoken to both kids about their behavior, irresponsibility and the violation of both our trust and house rules. After giving this a lot of thought, I have decided to speak to his mom, parent to parent. I have evaluated my reasons for this, and have come to the conclusion that I would want someone to tell me if my child was doing something dangerous. Right or wrong, I really think his family needs to be aware that their son has been engaging in risky behavior.
Where we all go from here remains to be seen. It is going to take some time for her to earn my trust again. This is a new thing for all of us, as she has never before been in any trouble. She is a straight A student who just won the President's Award for academic excellence. She's takes all honors classes, plays on the school lacrosse team and participates in several after school clubs. She is a good kid, who I have every confidence has just learned an invaluable lesson, as have I.
Again thank you so much for giving me some stuff to think about, and allowing me to vent a little. I really appreciate. Thanks. Beth