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kk19 · 07-13-2004, 07:02 AM

Hello everyone!

I am new to this, but figured i'd try it to see if I could get some advice. I'm a single mother with an 8 year old daughter. About 3 years ago, I started dating someone and found out he was not the right guy for me. unfortunately my daughter became attached to him and was upset when we broke it off. This past january I started seeing someone else and needless to say it's going very well. We are very much in love and he's wonderful. I have no doubt in my mind that he is the one and he feels the same way. My daughter is becoming very attached as well, she loves him and loves doing things with both of us. I stay at my boyfriends house only once a week, but lately since it's summer, he's been staying at my house. It's only once a week, but is this wrong. Should he not be staying over my house? and my other question is, when we do get engaged should we all live together or wait till we're married. he's already told me that he will adopt my daughter when we are married. I know it's a personal choice that one has to make, but i'm just looking for a little guidance. If anyone can help out that would be great!

Thanks....

SpeisFamily · 07-13-2004, 07:24 AM

Personally, I think you should wait until you are actually married to move in together. I know in todays world that people move in together all the time and nothing is wrong with that but you have a daughter to think about. What type of example do you want to set for her? She is almost a teenager. Are you going to be OK with the idea of her moving in with her "boyfriend"? Or do you want her to wait until she is married? This is leadership by example, she will do what you do and maybe even worse so set a good example

kk19 · 07-13-2004, 07:54 AM

Thanks for the advice and I think you are right about that. it should be when we're married. I appreciate your honesty.

mommaboyz · 07-14-2004, 08:33 PM

I was in your situation not too long ago. I was a single mom and I saw friends bring guys in and out of their childrens lives. I was afraid I would hurt my son like you said your daughter was. I decided not to let my son meet anyone I dated and it worked for awhile. Then I met the man I knew I wanted to marry. I let my son meet him and he became very attached also. I was so worried when he stayed at my house 1 night every other week. I let me son stay at his grandparents and he never knew anything. when we decided to get married he waited to move in until we were married. it turned out good and I would do it the same way again. hope this helps some. good luck

kk19 · 07-15-2004, 04:36 AM

Thanks for the advice. I totally agree with you about not moving in till you are married, it makes sense, i would want the same thing for my daughter. I'm sure things will work out fine. thanks again for your advice!

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