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Old 07-14-2004, 10:42 PM   #1
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Mommyof4 HB User
Putting my 2 year old in developmental daycare

My son just turned 2 and I think I have told you all about his delays. We are now deciding to put him in a developmental daycare so that he can get the help he needs throughout the day. There are therapists there that will work on his language and sensory issues so this really is a good thing I guess

The problem comes in the sense that none of my kids have ever really gone to daycare. My oldest went to one for a little while but I also worked there. Other than that, I have been a SAHM and they have been with me. I am having the hardest time sending him off like this even though I can also see the benefits.

How do you go about getting a child this age ready for a full time program? Keep in mind that cognitively, he is at a 15 month old level. Also, how do you deal with all of the emotions yourself?

I would never say anything bad about working mothers and admire mothers from all walks of life. The difficulty comes in being a SAHM and making the decision to be home with your kids and then sending him to daycare. I am feeling like I failed him in some way IYKWIM. Thanks for any advice
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Old 07-15-2004, 04:46 AM   #2
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: Putting my 2 year old in developmental daycare

Find a daycare that will allow you to spend the first week or two with him, however long he needs to be comfortable being left there, keeping in mind he probably will cry the first few times you leave him there, but a good center knows how to deal with that and if he's had a good deal of time to get accustomed to the place he wont cry long. Also, a daycare that will allow you to drop in or spend the day whenever you feel like it. I know the daycare my daughter was in was really great, there was a mandetory 3 day orientation i guess you could say, the first day the child was only there untill lunch, the 2nd day the child had lunch there, the 3rd they stayed all day...the parents were there durring this transition. And of course if you needed longer you got it, my daughter didn't even need the 3 days and stayed for lunch the first day and stayed all day alone the 2nd, but she was usual in that way from other 3 year olds...she's still like that at almost 6. I think daycare is a great thing when the child is old enough, it teaches independance, social skills and that they can survive without mommy and daddy. I think the most important thing is to get your son used to being around the teachers at the daycare, the children and of course the center, it needs to be a familier place not an unknown scary place for him. As long as you find a center that will allow you to go at his pace than you should be fine.

Putting your child in daycare is not failing them, if you find a good one it can have wonderful benifits. Children tend to be copy cats, so if there is a child there who can say words your son can't or do things your son can't he will pick up on what that child learns. They learn to be independant from you, which you will be glad he has learned when it comes time for school. The social skills they learn are very valuable in life and will also be a great help when he goes to school. My daughter wasn't a slow learner i would say, she's very smart, but she wasn't saying too much when i first put her in daycare at 2, after being around kids who talked better than she did her verbal skills really picked up. And if your not comfortable with everyday maybe 2-3 days a week would work good? Maybe help to ease your guilt.

 
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:43 AM   #3
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maak823 HB User
Re: Putting my 2 year old in developmental daycare

Look at it this way- see it as a 'school' and not as 'daycare' - the benefits of this type of program are wonderful for a developmentally challenged child, and it has been proven that if you get them into a program early that it helps them tremendously! Start out part time with it- just mornings or a few hours a day and ease him into it- you will find that he will love the interaction with the other kids and it will soothe your mind to know that he is having fun while learning

 
Old 07-15-2004, 05:58 AM   #4
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edaisy80 HB User
Re: Putting my 2 year old in developmental daycare

Mommyof4,
I remember seeing some of your replies from the other boards. My son also has learning disabilities. He went through a progam when he was almost 3. I guess it was kinda like pre-school. At first it was really hard for me to let him go. I think it was harder for me then it was for him. Find out if they have an open door poilicy? That's really important I think. You don't have to call the school and let them know that your coming. I would just go to the school out of the blue and check on him. Sometimes it was hard because he was only on a 15-17 month old level. Only when I went to check on him did he want to come home with me. Most of the time I would let him come home too. I think another important thing is if they decide to put him in another class because of progression advise them to slowly introduce him to the other teacher and kids. They didn't do this with Caleb and he had a relaps of about 6 months. Where he would scream and cry when he had to go to school and I remember having to go get him from school 3 times in one week when he first started in his new class. It was hard for him to adjust. Because of the ajustment issues they had to put him back into a 12-3-1 class. This past school year he went to Kindergarden. He did great, He's in a special education classroom. They kept him in the special education class only for the first 2 weeks. Then they introduced him to a regualr Kindergarden class. He started going to the class for story time in the morning. If he was having a bad day he was allowed to go back to the specail education classroom. About 2 weeks after going over to the regualr kindergarden class they started taking Caleb to art with them once a week and then to P.E. Caleb did really well with this because it wasn't to overwhelming for him. And like I said he always had the option of going back to the other class if he was frustrated. I hope this helps. By the way Caleb will have a regular 1st grade teacher this year that he will do activities with. Like P.E. , ART, reading, and writing. He will still go to his special education classes for certain things like additional reading and writing. He will also go back to his Kindergarden teacher from last year for science and social studies. He will go to his Speech classes and OT. So we will be making lots of transactions this year. His teacher was the biggest help. She has been the best thing that has happened to caleb. She fully understands him. If you feel that your sons teacher doesn't understand his need the way you think request that he's assigned to another teacher. I wish I would have. I was kinda stupid when it came to Caleb. I thought they were the professionals so they knew what they were doing. I meet the real professional this year. His teacher has been a special eduction teacher for 16-18 years. She has taught he alot about his needs that I didn't even know.

Last edited by edaisy80; 07-15-2004 at 06:02 AM. Reason: mistakes

 
Old 07-19-2004, 10:05 PM   #5
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Mommyof4 HB User
Re: Putting my 2 year old in developmental daycare

Thank you all so much. I am going to check on their policy of letting me go and check on him. He will also have OT and ST there so I am thinking they will become an extension of our family in his eyes.

We are only going to put him in 3 days a week for now. There is also a mix of disabled and NT children so he will be able to learn skills appropriate for his age. I talked to them and they told me that everything is play oriented which makes me feel better. I dont want him in a regimental school IYKWIM

Thanks again for all of your advice. It really has helped me deal with the emotions of all of this. Maybe some of it is that I am just not ready for my last baby to leave me. I guess we are going to have to go through all of this together
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Old 07-20-2004, 04:39 AM   #6
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TerryB HB User
Re: Putting my 2 year old in developmental daycare

I volunteered for 2 months straight every day 5 days per week when I sent my 4 year old to Preschool. The teachers were really happy to have a "volunteer". My daughter had severe separation anxiety related to OCD and the psychologist advised not waiting for Kindergarten to deal with it. I knew it was the right thing to send her. I gradually weaned myself out of the classroom. You may be able to get some kind of volunteer relationship with the school.
Terry

 
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