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Old 07-16-2004, 12:32 PM   #1
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hotpocket HB User
money killed my relationship with my dad

I need some help here


Hello I am 20 years old college student and I go to school away from home. I have lived a normal middle class almost all of my life but my dad struck it rich in about 2001. Since he has become very wealthy my relationship has gone to ****. He retired and he has become so selfish and I canít stand it. He owns a collection of Rolex watches and several European sports cars and wont get any one else anything even my mom! He has cut ties with all people who canít make him more money in stock market. EVEN HIS BEST FRIENDS! I asked him if he could buy me a car for college (I all I want is 4 wheels and something to get me from point A to point B. He said I was a liability, meaning if I was in a car wreck they could sue him and ruin his fortune since I am still a dependant of him.

Then I asked if I could buy a car with MY OWN money. He said no again, since I am still dependent of him. He wont even let me buy a car! I am a good kid and never get in trouble and he knows that, but he is too scared to take a chance on me since I could mess up and he possibly get sued and loose his fortune. He basically told me that money is more important then me. I want to scream and go crazy but I cant since he would just stop pay for my college. I know a car is minor but I am behind money on his scale.
I am thinking I should claim independence from parents and then he could just give me money for college and cash for the car. The money isnít the issue he even said. just worried about me messing up his wealth

 
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Old 07-16-2004, 12:56 PM   #2
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susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

Hotpocket,
I just responded to your other post and then saw this one. You do not need emancipation as you are already of legal age. Emancipation is for children under the age of 18.
I don't know what to say about your dad and his greed. It too bad money did this to him. I take it you still rely on them for college tuition and support. Tough position for you. I what I really can't understand is why he can't be more supportive to you and help you out - He difinately has the means to do so. Even my father who is the tightest person I know, and still has the first dollar he ever made, helped me out with my first car and with the down payment of my first house. Please forgive me for this, but I think your dad needs a slap upside his head! I mean your his kid, why can't he cut you some slack?

 
Old 07-16-2004, 01:09 PM   #3
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Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

Quote:
Originally Posted by susieq0726
Hotpocket,
I just responded to your other post and then saw this one. You do not need emancipation as you are already of legal age. Emancipation is for children under the age of 18.
I don't know what to say about your dad and his greed. It too bad money did this to him. I take it you still rely on them for college tuition and support. Tough position for you. I what I really can't understand is why he can't be more supportive to you and help you out - He difinately has the means to do so. Even my father who is the tightest person I know, and still has the first dollar he ever made, helped me out with my first car and with the down payment of my first house. Please forgive me for this, but I think your dad needs a slap upside his head! I mean your his kid, why can't he cut you some slack?
thanks alot for the post.. He has become crazy about money and being selfish in general.

I would love to smack him in the face, but I wouldnt hit him. Hell I am too scared to mouth off or argue back since he just may end payments on college.

He once said to my brother he would just write him a check for XXXXX amount never come back . Now I would take offer. I came home from college for the summer and he was happy to see me for a week then he wished I was back at the University taking summer school. My mom is for me but he calls all the shots.

Last edited by hotpocket; 07-16-2004 at 01:13 PM.

 
Old 07-16-2004, 01:17 PM   #4
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Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

I am so sorry. I wish parent's would realize what they're doing when they do this to their kids. Someday he will be an old man wishing his grown kids would come and visit - If he keeps this up, his kids will end up staying as far away as possible. I am sorry that your mom's hands are tied too. He really sounds very controlling and greedy. Best of luck to you. I hope everything turns out wonderful and that your dad finally sees what he is doing is only going to hurt him in the end.

 
Old 07-20-2004, 05:51 AM   #5
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Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

I'm wondering if your Dad is going through the normal anxieties that people have when they retire. They have no idea whether they have enough money saved to live out their final years. If he is still spending like nuts though then I'd expect that it is just greed. One thing for sure is that you don't want to be dependent on him forever.

 
Old 07-20-2004, 06:08 AM   #6
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stixx HB User
Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

well your dad also sounds like hes incredibly stupid...sorry for saying so

But if he made big bucks in the last few years its pretty common knowledge to protect yourself by forming a legal trust

basically a lawyer wites up paper work for a trust, your dads money goes into it. He controlls the Trust, however a Trust cant be sued.

Its what rich people do to protect themsevles from liability issues that your describing. from what youve said i cant imagine that he hasnt talked to a lawyer and enaged in some very simple legal protection

you may want to throw that up in your dads face casue it sounds like his excuses are a bunch of BS

just another angle on the situation,

 
Old 07-20-2004, 09:20 PM   #7
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Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

You made your dad to seem like [removed] but if he actually would choose his money over you, i doubt he'd be paying for your school. He could be MUCH cheaper with you if you think about it.

I think its very reasonable that he does not feel you should have a car in college, especially since he's paying your way through. My dad said to me when I wanted a car in college "If you have enough money to buy yourself a car, you can pay your tuition first and THEN buy a car for yourself"

I say you should be thankful he's paying your tuition, because most kids have to pay that themselves, and go into debt doing so...getting a car is the furthest thing from reality for most college students. Be thankful for the education he is giving you, which will help you make your own money one day and you can get all the cars you want.

Last edited by Moderator BAC; 07-21-2004 at 06:44 AM. Reason: Do not use obscene words! If a word has to be asterisked it not appropriate for these boards!

 
Old 07-21-2004, 08:43 PM   #8
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Re: money killed my relationship with my dad

Good point BrockBabe. Some parents don't believe in cars during college and maybe he's making it sound like a money issue. Personally, I'm glad that I had a car so that I could live off campus and get away from the immature kids that just wanted to party. Some parents think that it is safer to have the student stuck on campus. That wasn't the case for me.
Terry

 
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