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Old 07-24-2004, 08:57 AM   #1
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Im_Robyn HB User
My little nutty 4 year old

I have always been a strong believer in encouraging a healthing amagination but sometimes I wonder if I allow my daughters unusual thoughts to go to far.

At this point I have never told her that the things she tells me are not true I always go along with everything she tells me. But it somewhat worries me that she seems to really believe everything she tells me and it goes on for months.
A year ago she told me that she had baby weasles in her tummy 5 to be exact and that they even had a ball to play with and she still mentions those weasles to me. Of couse I go along with it.
A few months ago she got this little bumb on her leg and if you ask her what happened she will tell you this story about how she was playing outside and as she puts it " a pokey bird with no feathers" pecked her. It was so cool to listen to her tell this totaly insane story with so much detail and feeling she tells it like it really happened. She tells anyone who askes about the bumb and her story always reamains the same she calls the bumb her "bird peck" like its no big deal.

I have to admit I do encourage it I love that she thinks in such colorful ways I just worry that she actually believes it. Of couse thats just the beginning there are many tales of her insanity but those are my two favorite stories.

Everyone that has ever met and talked with her just falls in love with her shes so sweet and loving and tells such imaginitive stories and everyone loves them.
I have been told that either shes a genius or shes nuts.

So my question is should I continue to encourage her wacking imagination all the way as if I really believe her or should to a point and eventually tell her that what she is saying isnt true.

Thanks Robyn

 
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Old 07-24-2004, 11:11 AM   #2
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Ailenne HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

I think those storys sound wonderful. I'm not a parent myself, but I love kids and remember being a kid quite clearly myself. I think that it's great you encourage those storys. I remember being a kid and actually thinking things like that were true...I remember once when I was about 2 years old, thinking that the vegetables in our garden were sad...I remember actually seeing sad faces on the peas, and telling my mom that they were crying. Your daughter will grow out of those stories and if she does think that the things she says are true it's not a bad thing...she just has a very creative imagination.

 
Old 07-26-2004, 04:32 AM   #3
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

The only thing i would make sure of is that she knows the difference between the truth and not the truth. You want to make sure if there is every a situation that she needs to tell the truth in and not make up a story she can. Sit her down and ask her if she knows what the truth is, then give her a few statments like the grass is purple and ask her if it's the truth...that way you can gage if she knows the difference (many 4 year olds do not). That is the only thing i would worry about. My now almost 10 year old son was like that, he told stories from the time he could talk. I explained to him the difference between the truth and not the truth, and tried to explain situations where he needed to tell the truth, eventually it stuck, he is still very creative, but he doesn't make up stories to go along with things that happen in his life.
I would encourage the creativity, it's a wonderful thing, and it doesn't usually stick around too long, so have fun with it. I would even write down some of the better stories so she can look back on it in years to come and laugh. Like i said, the only thing i would make sure of is that she knows the difference between the truth and a lie, other than that i would let her be creative.

 
Old 07-26-2004, 05:00 PM   #4
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PatriciaB HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

Hi Robin! Your daughter sounds precious! Right off the bat, I would say "don't worry"! My now 14 year old daughter was very similiar to yours at that age. From the time she was very young, I would say about 2 or 3, she had an imaginary friend named "Michael. For a few years, Michael was always in our lives...he took trips with us, he taught her that when I said she could have a "couple" of jelly beans, that a "couple" meant 5 jelly beans! This is all vague memories but "Michael" had a mother named Alice and I believe a sister named Sally!
This all went on til all of a sudden one day when my daughter Jennifer was 5 or 6, her older sister Erin sat on Michael and killed him!! Of course, Erin had no way of knowing that she had sat on Michael but according to Jennifer, she did, and Jennifer was heart broken. The tears only lasted a day or so, I think that maybe she was just ready to let go of her childhood friend.
The stories she told about him were hilarious, and of course, if there was a spill or mess involved, of course Michael did it!
Jennifer has grown up to be an extremely bright, sunny girl. She has a whacky, imaginative, creative side to her that people just love! She is also considered to be academically gifted.
So, don't worry! Enjoy that daughter so full of personality, remember her stories, Jennifer loves my telling her some of her old "Michael" stories. She really doesn't remember him anymore but I sure do.
By the way, something I've always done for my 4 kids is when something really sad, or very happy, or funny happens to them, I write the story down and save it for them in a folder. We both enjoy going through it once in a while, reading about the event and their reactions to it. That way we don't forget!

Pat

 
Old 08-01-2004, 08:49 PM   #5
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Im_Robyn HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

PatriciaB thats a great suggestion about writing down the little moments in my daughters lives, thank you so much for sharing that with me thats great I love the idea. I cant believe I never thought of that. I am going to suggest that to my friends that have kids.
I absolutly enjoy everything that my little girls do or say so again thank thats such an awsome idea.

MandyAnne26 I am actully worried about her not understanding the difference between the truth and a fib, I have cought her in a few lies and shes so good at it. I have been sitting down with her explaining to her what the truth and what a lie is she doesnt seem to understand so of course I still work on that with her.

 
Old 08-07-2004, 08:36 AM   #6
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Jessthemess HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ailenne
I think those storys sound wonderful. I'm not a parent myself, but I love kids and remember being a kid quite clearly myself. I think that it's great you encourage those storys. I remember being a kid and actually thinking things like that were true...I remember once when I was about 2 years old, thinking that the vegetables in our garden were sad...I remember actually seeing sad faces on the peas, and telling my mom that they were crying. Your daughter will grow out of those stories and if she does think that the things she says are true it's not a bad thing...she just has a very creative imagination.
I agree, and your story is soo cute! When I was about 4, I was bit by a fireant on my arm and told everyone it was a "dinasour bite". I also made people call me cinderella. So I wouln't worry about you're little girl, she sounds wonderful to me!

 
Old 08-18-2004, 02:16 AM   #7
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HeyThere HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

I have a completley different view of your stories told by your young daughter and sometimes peopleadults and other children make games up that are grooming younger children for abuse. I wish all parents would point blankly instill in their kids at the age of 2 about privates how no one is supposed to try to touch them there or look at them. I hope I am wrong on making this view. 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 7 boys those are this years stats people lets wake up eachother about this. bruise on the leg a bald bird something in the tummy.

and the other lady about micheal alice susie that is a song off of wee sing tape or the original barney series.

being honest doesn't take away from their imagination just label it for her/him so she can differentiate between reality and imagination and truth and lies/fabrication. because if you don't someone else will and will use it toward the childs dissadvantage.
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Old 08-18-2004, 03:00 AM   #8
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littleone314 HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

I don't think there is anything wrong with her being so creative and vibrant. Like a few others have suggested though, I would sit with her and explain real from fake and if you have already done that do it again. It couldn't hurt. Tell her you enjoy her stories and that it's wonderful to be so imaginative (of course put it in a child's terms ..lol) but that you also need to hear the truth from her.

Don't discourage her being so creative but maybe when she tells you these stories you could chuckle and simply say something like..."wow...that's a great and interesting story but now tell me what really happened". That way she realizes you appreciate her stories but that she DOES need to tell the truth.

Oh and you said that you don't think she is grasping the concept of real vs. fake...well maybe you could buy a barney tape and watch it with her and explain to her that the people in the movie are real but that the big purple dinasour isn't..he is just a man inside a costume. Or use something on T.V. with a character in it. It's just a thought though.. I hope I helped a little!

Last edited by littleone314; 08-18-2004 at 03:05 AM.

 
Old 08-18-2004, 03:15 AM   #9
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ScaredKitty HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

You know what may help you. Is if you go along with her stories, but at the end say something like "Well wouldnt that be a silly story for someone to tell if it were true??" or say something at the end about it just being a silly story, or not true, but light heartedly, and see what her response. If she says "MOOOMY! it IS true!!" and goes through it all over again, then you might need to sit down and try to teach her to seperate imagination from the truth. Still encourage imagination full out, because it's one of the healthiest things a child can do. But make sure she isn't telling herself these things, and making herself believe them. That will lead to compulsive lying when she's older, and usually the people lying convince themselves what theyre saying is true. But be happy and fun about what you say after her stories so it isnt discouraging. Laugh and tell her shes a goof, and that her story was pretty wild and its a good thing it could never happen. Things like that.

Oh, and about the fibbing and lying and how good she is at it. She's 4, thats when kids start testing the waters to see what they can and can't lie about, and when its okay to tell a fib. (you know, to save someones feelings, or leave it up for them to find out a better way, etc) Don't encourage her lying and fibbing, and keep the discipline for it up, but understand right now she is testing limits and what is okay and what isn't. We often misunderstand that kids are very curious, and when you tell them something isn't okay, but don't explain every situation, they will find out in their own ways. And it's impossible to give an example to your daughter of every situation that you can lie in, so shes going to try them out, and see for herself. Kids test a lot of limits and it may be scary, you might think it'll carry into their later childhood/early teen years. But if it helps any, all I did when I was younger was test the limits. "Because I said so" and such weren't good enough for me so i tried everything out to see what was okay and what wasnt. I was a horrible child. When I hit about 9, that all changed. I didnt lie, break the rules, push the limits when i started to get older. I got it all done with when I was young, it drove my parents nuts but they let it happen and let me get it out of my system, so that i didnt feel the need to keep pushing the limits as I got older. So dont be too concerned, shes just testing things.

 
Old 08-18-2004, 09:02 AM   #10
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utahmomof4 HB User
Re: My little nutty 4 year old

I like MaryAnne's suggestion about making sure your daughter knows the difference between truth and imagination. That being said, my son is 5, and we're working on that concept. It's something that kids don't really start to grasp until 5 or 6, so I wouldn't worry about it if she doesn't seem to understand it now. Just look for and take advantage of opportunities to explain the difference. For example, if you ask her if she ate all her dinner and she says yes, but there is still food on her plate, explain the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, but without being punitive about it. Little things like that will start to make sense to her, and then you will be able to move onto bigger things. In the meantime, I wouldn't hinder her imagination any. I think it's cute, too!

Lori

 
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