hi all, our nearly ten month old baby has temper tantrums and smacks mom and dad when gets tired and irritable or cant get own way. Is this normal at this age? he is a loving child and we dont hit him or each other so i dont know where it comes from. He pinches and scratches too. My sister has had baby recently but he does it when they not there, he doesnt listen to no naughty, we have to put him in cot or turn it into game to stop it. Any ideas?? thanks, april
This is completely normal. Our will is highly individual so some children are compliant while others are strong willed. Children don't know what is wrong until we teach it to them. Going into the 2nd year of life is one of the greatest years of testing boundaries and finding your place. This is literally the time that they learn where they end and you begin.
"Naughty" is a word to cover many sins. It doesn't give them any idea as to WHAT is naughty. Through therapy with my son, we have learned that you have to be very descriptive. No hit, no bite, no pinch, etc. When they begin to hit, you simply stop the hit by holding their hand. You don't do this hard or in anger. Then you simply say "no hit"
You make sure to praise appropriate behavior. Good playing, Good listening, Good kisses, etc. When you use these consistently, they start to lean towards the positive reinforcement and the behaviors deminish.
Simply put, children will do what works. If throwing a tantrum is met with being ignored, she will not like that response. The tantrum will then have no use to her. I tell my youngest, "I will not talk to you unless you use your words. Mommy doesnt like screaming"
Teach your son things like, nice, soft, teach him to pat (like you would a cat or dog)and say nice. When he starts pinching say be nice...this works for my almost 2 year old daughter when she starts pinching. If he's throwing a tantrum put him in a play pen, high chair, crib..no toys and no parents around....after a short period of time 10-15 seconds, pick him up, if he quiets down than he's ready to get out, if he keeps crying put him back in for another few seconds. He'll figure out pretty quickly that having a tantrum gets him in his bed alone and not with mommy or daddy. As far as hitting, same thing, you can put him in his bed till he's ready to stop, you can try saying be nice...if that doesn't work try saying that it hurts, don't fake cry or anything, but say owie or hurt or something like that, then use those same words when he hurts himself...eventually he'll clue in to the fact that it hurts you.
The key is to pick a punishment and stick to it. Kids will only do something as long as it works, if it stops working generaly the bad behavior will stop.