Re: baby tantrums
Teach your son things like, nice, soft, teach him to pat (like you would a cat or dog)and say nice. When he starts pinching say be nice...this works for my almost 2 year old daughter when she starts pinching. If he's throwing a tantrum put him in a play pen, high chair, crib..no toys and no parents around....after a short period of time 10-15 seconds, pick him up, if he quiets down than he's ready to get out, if he keeps crying put him back in for another few seconds. He'll figure out pretty quickly that having a tantrum gets him in his bed alone and not with mommy or daddy. As far as hitting, same thing, you can put him in his bed till he's ready to stop, you can try saying be nice...if that doesn't work try saying that it hurts, don't fake cry or anything, but say owie or hurt or something like that, then use those same words when he hurts himself...eventually he'll clue in to the fact that it hurts you.
The key is to pick a punishment and stick to it. Kids will only do something as long as it works, if it stops working generaly the bad behavior will stop.