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Old 08-05-2004, 07:14 PM   #1
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My deadbeat father

My mom and dad got divorced when I was three. My mom remarried my stepdad and he has been there my whole life. I love my dad and I do have a semi relationship with him but the problem is he is a liar and an alcoholic. What really makes me mad is the child support. My mom has it taken out of his check every month and we only get 240 a month. Now I have to tell you this is for My younger brother AND I. So I dont think this is enough. It shows up that he only makes 10,000 dollars a year.... which I KNOW is a lie. He owns his house, he has 2 new motorcycles, a new truck, plus he can buy beer and cigarettes and drugs all the time. The reason I know he is "scamming" my brother and I out of money is he works for my grandma. It really makes me mad that she lies for him.... she pays him some in check and the rest and cash. Me and my brother combined get less than 3000 dollars a year... so that is about 1500 a piece! I know I cost more money than that....... Im so fed up!
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Old 08-05-2004, 08:11 PM   #2
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Re: My deadbeat father

Don't be sad me and my sister don't get anything from our father, but money is only money and at leaste he is in your lives.

 
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Old 08-06-2004, 11:05 AM   #3
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Re: My deadbeat father

I can understand where you're coming from. I am a single parent and I am dealing with my daughter's dead beat dad. My dad wasn't a dead beat, he was there, but he did cheat my mom out of money for me and my sister. He paid her $50.00/week for 2 kids ($25.00/kid)!!! In my book, I always said that a father that was there for his kids was more important than a check. My father was always there when we needed him to be, financially - he sucked! My daughter's father, on the other hand, is a real JERK! He has absolutely nothing to do with her and REFUSES to pay for her! He lives in an $800,000.00 home and still finds time to buy his daily weed, his cigs and whatever else, but he can't send money to help care for his kid! He currently owes me over $50,000.00 in back child support, he's SUPPOSED to be paying $250.00/week for her, but I have yet to see it. He's even done 3 months in jail for not paying and it doesn't seem to phase him. Some people are just natural born morons!!!

As for your father, if he's not there for you physically & emotionally, don't worry about him. You've got your step-father !!! He's the one that you should be thankful for and worry about! It's sad to say, but not that many men are willing to step up to the plate like that. Getting upset and mad about the siuation with your bio father isn't going to make matters better. You need to see this person for who he really is and move on. Unfortunately, nothing you say or do is going to make a difference with the way this person treats you, so why put yourself through the emotional roller coaster? Do you think that he's doing the same?

GOOD LUCK!!!

Last edited by KimRick; 08-06-2004 at 11:06 AM.

 
Old 08-07-2004, 06:49 PM   #4
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Re: My deadbeat father

I'd say pretty much the same. I hate to see your anger over this. I've seen women like your grandmother, enabling her son rather than encouraging him to become a man. A real man takes care of his family. Try to turn it around for the good. Don't make babies yourself until you have a stable committed relationship. You can only control your own behavior. You can not control others.
Terry

 
Old 08-17-2004, 08:06 AM   #5
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Re: My deadbeat father

Hey, Sorry about your dad but really enough is enough. Money is just money and the fact that you have a relationship at all with your father is better than most people. Sorry to sound harsh but it money is a material thing that will come and go but your father(no matter what he chosses to do) will always be your father. Can I ask you a personal question you said that your mom remarried so i asume that you are not destitue and begging for food correct? If this is the case then just be lucky your father sends anything. If you and your brother cannot get food on the table thats another story and your father should realize he needs to care for you more. Just my two cents.

 
Old 08-17-2004, 08:27 AM   #6
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Re: My deadbeat father

Quote:
Originally Posted by kickchick2000
Hey, Sorry about your dad but really enough is enough. Money is just money and the fact that you have a relationship at all with your father is better than most people. Sorry to sound harsh but it money is a material thing that will come and go but your father(no matter what he chosses to do) will always be your father. Can I ask you a personal question you said that your mom remarried so i asume that you are not destitue and begging for food correct? If this is the case then just be lucky your father sends anything. If you and your brother cannot get food on the table thats another story and your father should realize he needs to care for you more. Just my two cents.

I agree with you to a point, but Children are not free. They cost money to feed, clothe and take care of. If this "man" was "man" enough to make a child, he should take on the responsibility of caring for the child. Especially if he has the means to do so.
And just be lucky that your father sends you anything???? Please. So I guess it's OK for men to make as many women in the world pregnant and then decide that THEY don't want to support the children - accept occasionally when they feel like it.
My parent's divorced when I was 6 yrs old and my brother was 14. My dad was never late on his child support - Not one time. And if something else arrose that needed his attention - he was there to tend to it.
The way I see it is this: Some men in this world think it hurts the mother to not pay their child support. It hurts the children. And as soon as these men figure this out and truly love their kids, maybe they will cough up what they should already be paying.

 
Old 08-18-2004, 12:17 AM   #7
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Re: My deadbeat father

If you has his ss# and grandmotherss# turn them into the IRS aynonmously (SP) there is nothing like an audit to freak out someone cooking books, money laundering or embezzeling or cheating the childsupport system. I hope you kids are getting health benefits at least with this support.
It could be worse like him in jail with nothing going toward ss earnings/benefits for you kids if he should pass. thinking in the future-Does he have long term life insurance plan so incase something happens before college graduation he has got you all covered. Everyone deserves something for their earnings earned nobody wants to be enslaved to crank out money just for others. Some people are selfish or greedy and some are martyrs I am not going to put it to one gender or the other. This money is partial for a roof, health/medical, education, and food and not an allowance for spending sprees. This person you speak of has his priorities mixed up so why expect more of him he is stuck in the hole he dug don't fall in his hole too trying to figure him out or change him. Persons on drugs and alcohol are unreliable and no consideration for anyone but themselves. Just don't be like him or don't be with someone like him when you are grown. Good luck.

Last edited by HeyThere; 08-18-2004 at 12:19 AM.

 
Old 08-19-2004, 11:01 AM   #8
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Re: My deadbeat father

Also, when you turn someone into the IRS, they actually pay you a reward for doing so (depending on if it was worth it for them). The highest payout they paid was $5 million.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeyThere
If you has his ss# and grandmotherss# turn them into the IRS aynonmously (SP) there is nothing like an audit to freak out someone cooking books, money laundering or embezzeling or cheating the childsupport system. I hope you kids are getting health benefits at least with this support.
It could be worse like him in jail with nothing going toward ss earnings/benefits for you kids if he should pass. thinking in the future-Does he have long term life insurance plan so incase something happens before college graduation he has got you all covered. Everyone deserves something for their earnings earned nobody wants to be enslaved to crank out money just for others. Some people are selfish or greedy and some are martyrs I am not going to put it to one gender or the other. This money is partial for a roof, health/medical, education, and food and not an allowance for spending sprees. This person you speak of has his priorities mixed up so why expect more of him he is stuck in the hole he dug don't fall in his hole too trying to figure him out or change him. Persons on drugs and alcohol are unreliable and no consideration for anyone but themselves. Just don't be like him or don't be with someone like him when you are grown. Good luck.

 
Old 08-20-2004, 12:27 PM   #9
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Re: My deadbeat father

I could never do that to my grandma or dad.....
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Old 08-20-2004, 12:48 PM   #10
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Re: My deadbeat father

But they can do it to you?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by party_guy_2008
I could never do that to my grandma or dad.....

 
Old 08-20-2004, 07:07 PM   #11
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Re: My deadbeat father

Yea but as the old aying goes...... two wrongs dont make a right..
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Old 08-21-2004, 02:37 PM   #12
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Re: My deadbeat father

Brandon,
I wouldn't be able to turn them in either. Best to just concentrate on learning from their mistakes. Who knows what kind of fallout could come of such a move. Revenge tends to make me more bitter about things.
Terry

 
Old 08-21-2004, 02:57 PM   #13
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Re: My deadbeat father

All I can say is my dead beat dad is a role model for the wrong reason. Accept the fact that he is a useless piece of **** and that you will not be the same type of dad. I have agreat relationship with my daughter and she knows wjat jerk her grandpa is. Thats why he has never been in my familys life. Remember to NOT be like him! Best of luck!

 
Old 08-21-2004, 03:04 PM   #14
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Re: My deadbeat father

Enough is enough? I'm sure it's not the money itself, but it's the principle of the matter. Plus, if the father is buying drugs and alcohol over supporting his children, then that is telling his children that his priorities are not straight.

I can pretty much bet you either are not in the same position, you are not a single mother, or grew up with an alcoholic father.

 
Old 08-21-2004, 06:42 PM   #15
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Re: My deadbeat father

Quote:
Originally Posted by acheybrakey
I can pretty much bet you either are not in the same position, you are not a single mother, or grew up with an alcoholic father.
I'm not sure who you are addressing. I am married to a man who was abandoned by his Dad. My husband has some issues but he is a tremendous father and we have a solid marriage. He only sees his Dad about once per year and that is all he can tolerate. My Dad wasn't so hot either (remained in the home but emotionally unattached) but I consider him "off" in his mental health so I have little real anger, just remorse and some serious pity for him.

There is certainly nothing wrong with discussing the matter with Dad but I wouldn't expect much. He seems pretty defective. Hey, at least he gave you life! Sick comment. I certainly don't deny your feelings Brandon. I just think that you can waste energy on this issue rather than taking care of your own needs. Find your own way without the deadbeat.

Terry

 
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