My daughters are 8 and 11 and every day they fight. They're always trying to get each other in trouble and they fight over every single thing they can. They are very competitive with one another as well. Is there any way I can stop these two from doing this all the time?
you need to first of all talk to them together and say that if they continue to do this you will start taking privliges away, so to really think twice about starting another fight, and if they do start another, take something away from each of them.
then you need to talk to the oldest sepratly and explain to her that she is the oldest and that when her sis is nit picking then she needs to handle the situation in a mature way and chose not to fight back. and that by not fighting back she will not be giving the sister the satisfaction of making her mad, and that she has actually won and not lost.
then to the yougest, explain that very same thing to her (alone) both children will feel mature and respected and have a little encoragment not to fight....but if they do, dont hesitate to take something away for a day or two....be consistant!!!!! that is the key here.
I wouldnt worry about it too much, I come from a big family, 7 sisters 2 brothers. I am a twin, me and my twin fought horribly in our early teen years to a point we didnt talk for a long while, now were best friends. And I have noticed, that the siblings in my family that fought the most with each other are best friends now. All sisters, all siblings go through it. My mother once told me that girls fight like that to prove their maturity, and by giving them more responsiblility, and showing more respect they quickly out-grow it. Let them do more things seperately, I know that no matter what, I always eventually missed my sisters company and enjoyed our time together that much more. And since we were separated with our different interests we were too busy filling each other in to fight.
Last edited by franstranges; 08-09-2004 at 10:15 PM.
Like franstranges, I separate my 5 and 8 year old a lot with different activities or friends. They do play nicer afterwards. Last week I tried something new. Every time the girls ran to me with a tattle I assumed that they were bored and needed something to do so I gave them a chore. The tattling ditracts me from doing my chores so I might just as well give the chores to the tattlers so that I am not so annoyed. We had a very clean house last week.