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Old 08-22-2004, 09:25 PM   #1
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BAD Day Care experience!!!

Hi everyone. I am posting this to warn all mommies considering day care. Also to see if any one has ever had a bad day care experience like ours.

First of all if you're going to put your child in day care make sure you check the place and people out thoroughly. Use your natural Mother's instinct. Make sure they are open to you visiting your children any time during their care and use that opportunity to exam their care for your children.

Let me tell you our experience.......

My son is 2 1/2 years old and my daughter is 4 months. Ever since my son was old enough to interact with other kids every one has been pursuading me to put him in Day Care. Well I was young when he was born (18) and maybe over protective but I refused. So I repeatedly changed jobs, schedules and classes (college) to work around my families schedules so they could watch my son while I worked and studied. Same with after my daughter was born. Well I'm getting further along in my classes and needing to work more hours (since I'm raising 2 now) so the time has finally come to put my children in Day Care. I have no choice now because I have to finish college, keep working, and I have no other sitters. So, I did some research, checked out different Day Cares and finally found one I thought was great. I heard good references on this place and the people seemed great.

I dropped my children off around 7:45 in the morning on a day off so that I could pop in freely through out the day to observe. I was in and out twice finding little things here and there that I wasn't that crazy about but could deal with.

My final visit I went to see my daughter in the infant room first as my son was napping with the other children. They had her in a saucer (walker without wheels). I had never put her in one before and she was barely 4 months old. They didn't put any blanket or anything around her to keep her in place so she was just flopping back and forth. I took her out, laid her in the crib and decided I would go see my son. He was awake, they were sitting around the tables eating snacks. I noticed right away the scratches on his face. He hadn't seen me yet. One of the teacher came up to me and said in these exact words "I don't know if your son was over excited or what, but he came in here pushing the kids down, slapping and pinching. The only reason he has scratches all over his face is because he was holding a little girl down and she was just defending herself". I thought 'my son, going on an anger rampage, no way'. That just ****** me off. Family and friends have watched my son and nothing like that has ever happened. He's been to birthday parties with and without me and never acted like that, and where would he have learned to pinch? Well I walked out of there and went back to see my daughter and she had fallen asleep.

After a couple minutes of watching her sleep I walked back into the toddler room. My son was turned away and I noticed a big clump of brown stuff on the back of his shirt. I called him over to me but he took off running with the kids. Then I saw one of the teachers grab him and take him off into the corner where I couldn't see. So I walked around where I could see and asked her across the room "what is it?" she replied "oh it's just from there lunch" so I asked "well what did they have it looks gross?" she replied "I'm not sure I wasn't here". When she was done scrubbing his back with a baby wipe he came over to me and there was more off this brown substance on his shoulder and face(skin). I didn't even have to stick my face in it to smell that it was feces. I took his shirt off right away, wiped off his face and took him into the restroom to get cleaned up. I was so furious I grabbed them, their stuff and just left.

The next day I called the director of the Day Care, complained about the situation and demanded my money back. She requested I give them another chance (ha) and I then found out that the one teacher that was wiping the leftover lunch of my son had just got done changing a little boy who had diahhrea and had made a mess of it. This is the same teacher who tried to convince me moments after changing this messy boy that the poop all over my son was FOOD. Can you believe it?

My son had deep painful scratches all over his face and 4-5 pinch bruises on his arms and belly. Every night before he goes to bed when were snuggling and saying good night he tells me "mommy, kids did it (points to his cuts and bruises) get you boy, ouchy, call doctor??" It breaks my heart. This is why I held off on Day Care.

Maybe my son did turn evil when he walked in there and attacked the kids. But the teachers should have never let it get to the point where my son would be getting marked up.

As you can imagine I am hesitant to put my children in Day Care again. I DIDN'T get my money back and now a week later, the bruises are finally starting to fade. We've visited many other children since then and my son still hasn't shown any violence towards any one. He's not perfect he is 2 years old he does have his fit spells but he's never hit, pushed or pinched any one.

Sorry this was so long but I just thought it should be heard. Maybe I am over protective but correct me if I'm wrong when I say, "these are our babies it's in our nature to protect and defent them". I'm sure some one out there knows my anger. If any one has any input please feel free to reply. Also if any one has any good advice on how to examine a Day Care center well please let me know.

 
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Old 08-22-2004, 10:46 PM   #2
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. It's hard when you don't want to leave your kids. Believe me, I've been there!

However, some kids when they are in new and strange surroundings can lash out because they are angry and scared. I'm not saying that's what your son did but just that it can happen.

Have you looked into a day home instead? There would be less children and it would probably be a lot more fun! My son went to a dayhome when he was little and he loved it. They aren't all good, again you have to research but he loved the one he was in.

Thankfully now I can stay at home with my kids, I even homeschool them but sometimes you have no choice. I pray you find a place that works for you.
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Old 08-22-2004, 11:17 PM   #3
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

Yeah I thought about him maybe lashing out but like I said it seems really odd. Plus all the times I was spying on him he acted just the same as he has with other groups of kids. I guess you can say his a little gulible (sp) it seems like he's more of a fallower (sp) then a leader. (Another reason I was afraid to put him in day care) Now I'm worried if he acts like that as they said he did, what if he does it again? I mean how would I teach him not to if I (or anyone else) don't catch him doing it? Like I said he's never hit any one.

 
Old 08-24-2004, 12:22 PM   #4
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

Hello, I'm a bit confused about this....Let's see...Your son is supposedly the abuser, but he's the one with the bruises? One or two maybe, but lots of scratches on the face and bruises all over his body? I wouldn't be too comfortable with that, even if he might be the daycare bully. Why did it take them so long to get him off the little girl? If he has bruises, doesn't that mean the other children are hitting him as well? He can't be bruising himself. It sounds a little out of control to me. You might want to look around for alternative care or a different day care center. If he is that bad, he should be in time-out away from the other children so no one gets hurt. How do they dicipline? What exactly do they do to try and teach him not to hurt other children? I'm very confused.
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Old 08-24-2004, 05:36 PM   #5
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

and again i thank GOD that i can be at home with my daughter......

this is sad and just terrible.
i am friends with a woman who works in daycare and she is very good but she says some kids get so violent that they have to be "kicked" out of the program....
sounds to me like they have a daycare "meanie" who neads to be sent away.
and you are right it should not have gotten out of hand the way it did.
and the fact that he had poop on him is just repulsive. do you know how many bacterial infections can come from poop? and having all those open cuts could have caused him to get sick if it would have gotten into them.
not trying to scare you but that is nasty.
if you feel like this is happening to other children call child sevices and report it
(if they are the ones who respond to this sort of thing)
and maybe even the health dept. to report what happened to your son and see if they will investigate the cleanliness of this place. because they are suppost to wear gloves when cleaning up a mess or a baby and then wash their hands b 4 touching ANYTHING especially another child!!!!
i have one rule to all this......
no one will take care of your children the way you would.
i just hope you can find someone who will at least care for them properly.
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Old 08-24-2004, 08:46 PM   #6
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

Believe me my children will never be going back there. I took pictures of my son and kept his poop stained shirt and I plan on writing a letter to the district of certification ( I think it's called). They are the ones who certify the day cares.

When I argued with the women on the phone I told her that I wasn't trying to say my son was innocent I was just trying to find out where the teachers were during his rage and why it got so far that he had to get beat up before they did anything about it.

Also while I was visiting the day care that Monday I over heard 2 of the teachers arguing about whether they should send some little boy home or not. I guess he's been out of day care for awhile due to a cold or something and it seemed he was still to ill to be in care. Well they kept him there and wouldn't you know come Wednesday morning my son was miserable. Of course as of now we are all sick. Some luck huh?

 
Old 08-27-2004, 10:55 AM   #7
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

where we live there are licensing requirements through the county social services departments. but there are still some scary places. When I was looking I also checked with the police department and with the fire department to see if there were any potential problems with a day care.

We opted for a day care center instead of a home based one because there's more than one person caring for our child. Some of the homebased daycares cart the kids around in their cars all day long while they drop off kids at school or run errands -- recently there was a horrible accident in town involving a day care person who was dropping a bunch of kids off at activities and two of the kids weren't properly strapped in.

We've been very fortunate and feel our child is learning a lot and is well cared for. Once when I went to pick up ds early, they were in the process of changing his diaper and another caregiver was changing another child and they were wearing "latex" gloves. I heard from a coworker whose children go to a home daycare that the care giver just lines up the kids with diapers and does a group diaper -- this same parent has had to deal with the rotovirus OOODLES of time

 
Old 08-27-2004, 01:50 PM   #8
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Re: BAD Day Care experience!!!

that is nasty, i can see a day care center making more since in that respect.
i have really considered doing home day care but i am very clean and conciencious of things like that....hearing others horror stories about this makes me even want to do it more....just so ppl can have a good place for their children everyday....
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