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Old 08-24-2004, 05:01 PM   #1
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Mommy2Isaiah HB User
Internet Use

I have a 5 year old son and an 11 yo step daughter. She is very much into using the internet, and "chatting". My question to you all is this: how do you keep your kids safe on it. I have put all of her buddies on my buddy list and talk to them when they are on. I have to say that the 2 so far have been less than OK for her to talk to. I have blocked all cookies, but she is very bent on trying to fix it, but can't figure it out...hehe... I just say "I don't know what's wrong" and tell her I'll check into later. She will probably figure it out sooner or later, and we have laid down the ground rules, but she is a little bit ummm.... sneaky.... and likes to manipulate the situations. Her dad is more than willing to step up and have any conversation that I think needs to be had about anything and I am so thankful for that. I just wanted any ideas about internet safety and children.

Thanks!

Nicole
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EDD 6/29/05
Isaiah 5/21/99
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Old 08-24-2004, 07:29 PM   #2
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cookiepls HB User
Re: Internet Use

Do you know the parents of these children? They may not be as aware as you are about the conversations their children are having.

 
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Old 08-24-2004, 07:39 PM   #3
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Mommy2Isaiah HB User
Re: Internet Use

No, these people that I have found and randomly chatted with are people out of state. Is there any way to block this? I looked and looked, but couldn't find anything on the AIM website (sorry if I shouldn't have posted the name, Mods). The one guy lived in NJ and I was on her name acting like I was her, and he started talking to me about porn and wanting to give me (her) a facial . I got really ****** off at this point and told him that I was her mom and if he EVER talked to her again I was going to report him and he would never be allowed to use that service again. He quickly logged off. I have a sister in Cali who is online quite a bit and gave her these names to check on and she talked to that guy as well and he was trying to do that w/ her too. She found out he is 16 and where he lives, then blocked him. The other person directed me to a porn site. I guess I'll just have to drop whatever I'm doing and be down here with her (the comp's in the basement), and for the times when I can't, I'll just have to keep getting on her screen name and check on these people. Thanks, though.

Oh, and to answer your question....yes, I do know the parents of the other kids who DO live in town...sorry...that was alot to go through to get to the answer to your question .

Nicole
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EDD 6/29/05
Isaiah 5/21/99
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost

 
Old 08-25-2004, 05:10 AM   #4
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: Internet Use

What chat programe is she using? Also, check to see if your service provider (although i'm sure you have) has any way of you setting up an account for her that blocks questionable sites etc. Unfortunitly there is no way to make 100% sure who she is talking to is who they say and that she herself is behaving. But you can watch what she is doing, have everything logged (most chat programes that i have been on you can log the chats), let her know the rules she is to follow and let her know you will be checking on her and if she breaks the rules she looses her privlidges. Also, i like the msn chat better than the others, your much less likely to get strangers talking to you than on icq or an irc chat.

 
Old 08-25-2004, 10:16 AM   #5
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artbuggy3 HB User
Re: Internet Use

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Isaiah
No, these people that I have found and randomly chatted with are people out of state. Is there any way to block this? I looked and looked, but couldn't find anything on the AIM website (sorry if I shouldn't have posted the name, Mods). The one guy lived in NJ and I was on her name acting like I was her, and he started talking to me about porn and wanting to give me (her) a facial . I got really ****** off at this point and told him that I was her mom and if he EVER talked to her again I was going to report him and he would never be allowed to use that service again. He quickly logged off. I have a sister in Cali who is online quite a bit and gave her these names to check on and she talked to that guy as well and he was trying to do that w/ her too. She found out he is 16 and where he lives, then blocked him. The other person directed me to a porn site. I guess I'll just have to drop whatever I'm doing and be down here with her (the comp's in the basement), and for the times when I can't, I'll just have to keep getting on her screen name and check on these people. Thanks, though.

Oh, and to answer your question....yes, I do know the parents of the other kids who DO live in town...sorry...that was alot to go through to get to the answer to your question .

Nicole
If you have AOL instant messenger you can block people or totally delete them off the buddy list. When you are talking to someone in the left-hand bottom corner you can block that person. If you scroll down on the buddy list the person you blocked with have a red circle with a slash through it. She might be able to figure out how to un-block them though. I was just looking around on my buddy list and if you go to "My AIM" on the top of the buddy list then go to "edit options" and "edit preferences" then click on "privacy" Under the box "Who can contact me" you could click on "Allow only users on my Buddy List" and delete those kids. I hope this helps a little bit.
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Old 08-25-2004, 04:03 PM   #6
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Mommy2Isaiah HB User
Re: Internet Use

Thanks Art, I have done that already, but she just adds new people when I delete the others. I'm not sure that she even realizes that I have deleted it. I also go into her profile to make sure that she isn't making herself older than she is, doesn't put her city, or last name. She redoes it when she gets here. I guess that her dad and I will have to have ANOTHER talk about what not to put there. We also limit the time she is able to be online, and make her go outside to play. This helps a little. Thanks for all the replies....off to check her account...

Nicole
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EDD 6/29/05
Isaiah 5/21/99
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost

 
Old 08-26-2004, 07:07 AM   #7
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: Internet Use

Just let her know the rules and follow through with the punishment...ie, if she changes her profile and add's information that is either missleading, or could give away her location than she loses privlidges for 1 week...set up the rules and make her stick to them or don't allow her to use the computer for anything other than school and only when you or her father are there to supervise. if you let her get away with it than she will keep doing it, if there is no consequenses to her actions there is no reason for her to stop. You telling her not to do it and changing it is not a punishment...taking the computer away is....as long as she is alowed to use it while still breaking the rules means she is winning the battle.

 
Old 08-26-2004, 07:16 AM   #8
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Mommy2Isaiah HB User
Re: Internet Use

Yep, that's what we have to do, I completely agree. There isn't too much more important when raising healthy kids than consistency and boundaries. Thanks for your reply.

Nicole
__________________
~Nicole
EDD 6/29/05
Isaiah 5/21/99
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost

 
Old 08-27-2004, 06:15 AM   #9
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Blastoff9600 HB UserBlastoff9600 HB User
Re: Internet Use

Another thing you can do is there are plenty of spy programs that you can buy and put on your computer. They can be useful because if she does stuff you dont know about it is recorded either through keystrokes or other such things. I have seen ones that copy the chats and emails that go on. I know some may think that is a bit much but this way you have info that if she wants to deny it you have proof.
With that you can get those that are talking to her in a manner you dont like you can report them to their server or whatever program they are using.
You can aslo try emailing AIM and see if they can offer some ideas or point you in the right direction. Though you should know that AIM does have the rule that only those 13 or older can use AIM so they might not be too helpful if they know your SD is under that age.

With me mine arent online yet but my oldest already knows that I will be sitting beside him when he does go online. We have our computer in our living
room so that wont be too much of a big deal.
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Old 08-27-2004, 07:01 AM   #10
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jojo64 HB User
Re: Internet Use

You may have to limit her time online and moniter what she's doing. Set up a rule about it. For example, give her one hour each evening, maybe from 7-8:00 when she can be online, and then you or your husband make time in your schedule to at least be there in the computer room with her.

 
Old 08-27-2004, 02:19 PM   #11
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Mommy2Isaiah HB User
Re: Internet Use

She lied about her age to be able to chat... I don't mind her chatting to her friends at all. It's the ones I dont' know that concerns me. I will just have to make time to be down here, I guess. That's what a parent does, right .
__________________
~Nicole
EDD 6/29/05
Isaiah 5/21/99
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost

 
Old 09-05-2004, 01:23 PM   #12
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simpleplan32685 HB User
Re: Internet Use

I personally think copying your step daughters buddy list and checking out her friends that way is wrong. If it's that important for you to know who she is talking to ask her about the friends she talks to. That might be a reason you guys could have a good relatioship you not being her real mother.

 
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