Uhhh I am losing my mind with this boy. I remember the good old days when I could just put him in his car seat or swing and he would be content for hours. NOPE THOSE DAYS ARE GONE! Its like he gets bored all the time. If I am not constantly playing with him or holding him he starts to fuss. The once magical pacifire isn't so magical anymore seeing how it doesn't make him stop fussing when he is bored. If I am carrying him around with me he will be fine forever. Once I put him down he throws a fit. If I sit him up to play with his toys he is ok until he gets too tired to sit up anymore. Then the fussing begins cuz he doesn't want to lie down. Is this normal? Is he high maintanance. Am I a bad mom for getting so frustratred with him. Omg to top it off last night he woke up twice for his bottle (he usually sleeps through the night). I was so exhausted and tired that I called him a bratt. I felt so guilty for saying that to a baby. His screaming at 4 am just really got to me. I never yell at him but I find myself just saying not so nice things. I really gotta get a grip I am just tired cuz I am home all day with him and don't have any family to give me a break with him. My husband is out all day and when he gets home he is studying (just started dental school). Will this ever pass?
The good news is yes. Get him some good interactive toys (small ones that play music, have buttons make noise etc). At about 6 months old they also start to go through seperation anxiety. Babies are high maintence...some are more or less than others, but thats why being a mother is a full time job.
Just try to remember at his age cying is still how he communicates, he doesn't know any other way to get your attention, while it's fustrating he is crying for a reason. Also, as far as the waking up is concerned, could he be teething? does he have teeth yet? i know my youngest never sleeps well when she's teething, she never was really fussy she just would wake up more than usual.
You can try putting him in his high chair to play, i know it worked wonders when my kids started sitting up but still couldn't sit for a long time. If he's too short to really play than you can put a folded up blanket or small (very small) pillow under him to boost him up a bit.
Just try to remember that he can't do anything by himself, he needs to for everything still...the only way he can tell you something is wrong is to cry or scream..it's hard to listen to but it's a part of your life when you have kids. When he is napping just make sure you are doing things to help to destress yourself, i also had no help with my kids, when my kids would nap i would nap, or i'd have a bubble bath or read or just do nothing, i would make an effort to have cleaning and things done before they went down so that i could relax when they were sleeping, it makes a big difference. Also, try finding a parents group, or playgroup, you can talk with other parents, get out of the house.
Your not a bad parent for getting fustrated, we all do it sometimes, the key is to recignise what is wrong and do your best to fix it and not do it again. He's too young to know what you called him, just remember the bad feeling you had when you did it the first time and don't do it again. The more fustrated you get the more upset he will get.
Thanks for the replies. he could be teething since he is at that age but so far none have showed up. I have tried what you said putting pillows around him so when he gets tired of sitting up he is still propped up. This maybe works for like 5 min. and he starts fussing. He hates his highchair . I have to feed him in his car seat. I do think that one thing I need to change is doing housework while he naps. I totally need to use that time for myself. Thanks for that idea that is something I am going to change.
We had a saucer (walker without wheels) we'd put ds in for a little while -- had toys to play with, music, etc. He was never in it all that long -- 15-25 minutes -- just long enough for me to get the groceries put away, go to the bathroom... We also have a musical learning table -- plays music when you hit a button; however, a six-month old's attention span isn't all that great.
One of DS's favorite "toys" was a laundry basket. I set him in it with a bunch of toys -- dinosaurs, ducks, cups and balls and was able to take a relaxing bath while he just sat in the bathroom with me and played with his toys.
yup that is what i was thinking i may need. one of those walkers. by the way... i always thought that seperation anxiety was when the baby only wants to be with mom and dad but is afraid of being left with other peolpe. my son has started getting really upset when i leave the room. almost like he doesn't want to be by himself. he seems ok with strangers he just throws a fit when i walk away to go do something. is that seperation anxiety? hes on my lap right now cuz he got mad when i left him in his swing to come in here!
DS got upset when I put him in the saucer and he couldn't see me -- so if I had to run downstairs for something quick or had to put something in the fridge -- I'd start -- then play peek a boo -- pop my head around the corner. Kept him occupied for a little while -- gave me time to RUN down the stairs to get the laundry and run back up to shout PEEK! Sometimes you just have to let them cry for a few minutes -- as long as you come back and reassure them. Especially if they're safe in their crib or chair.
BTW, wait til your child starts crawling and walking! Then you'll dream about these days.
First of all I want to say that you are not alone. I think all new mothers, whether it's their first child or sixth child, feels those overwhelming feelings of frustration sometimes. It's how you handle them that counts.
I have two daughters. My oldest is 8 years old, and my youngest is 4 and a half months old. My 8 year old was a good baby but went through the same thing your son is going through. My baby is also going through it now. As babies grow and start to learn new things, they can get bored pretty easily. I can put my baby on the floor on her Pooh Playmat and she's fine for about 10 minutes then she starts whining. Same thing with the exersaucer. She loves one on one attention but sometimes I have things I have to do or want to do, so I can't play with her all day long. I know how you feel. Just remember that these days will be over so fast and you will never be able to have them back. Enjoy them. Before you know it he will be too old to hold on your lap, or too busy to snuggle. I have been through this with my 8 year old. I feel like I blinked and she was 8.
When you find yourself getting to the point where you get frustrated enough to lash out with words, leave the room for a couple of minutes. Tell yourself that he is totally dependant on you and that he will only be little for a very short time.
I agree with all the suggestions from everyone else, and here are a few of my own.
1. Try putting him in an umbrella stroller and pushing him around the house with you while you get things done. That way he's with you, his scenery is changing, and he's able to sit up and look around.
2. Try putting him near a window with the shades and curtains pulled back. My daughter loves to look at the sky.
3. Try tapes like Barney Songs, Blue's Clue's, The Wiggles, or Baby Einstein. They love the colors and the music. Also try turning the volume up quite a bit. Not ear splitting but loud enough to keep his attention.
Also, for your health, I agree that you need to take some of those nap times for yourself. Soak in a bath, read a magazine, watch a talk show. There are also herbs out there that help with stress and anxiety so that's an option as well. I wish you good luck and hope some of this helps. Keep us posted.
i just posted this same post about my DD a few months ago , she is now 10 mo. old and things are better as her attention span has increaced.....
but she too would get bored easy and then i would be trying to clean or something then have to stop and carry her around all day.
when she gets like that now it is my red flag that she needs a nap...i put her in her crib with her sassy she drifts off in no time......when she wakes up *sometimes in 20 min. somtimes after 1 hour* she is happier and more content. but every baby is differnt you will figure out what works for you and your DS.
I think all of us moms experience this......or at least most of us do. This will pass with time. Try to occupy his time more.......introduce different toys.....walker, some sort of flashy noise making toy or something.
Someone mentioned something that also made me remember something, when my youngest was about 6 months old and just starting to sit i had a small basket (just alittle plastic one i found at the dollar store), i filled it with rattles and other small toys and she would dig through it, she loved it.
It's hard when you have a child you is fussy when it comes to where he'll sit and stuff..my youngest hated her care seat, it's only been about the last 6 months or so that she will even sit in it without screaming..so i understand where you are coming from with a child who won't sit.
As far as the seperation anxiety, it's different than stranger anxiety...if they don't see you they think you'll never come back, talking and playing peekabo like the others said works wonders. Also have you considered a jolly jumper? my son loved it as a baby, you can get ones with stands so you can put it any room and the baby isn't confined to a doorway. In a month or two he'll start crawling and you'll pray for these days to come back, lol...Good luck and hopefully this phase will pass soon , the key is to not comfort any more than you have to, if he's still content being alone than let him be, try sitting and playing rather than picking up, and only pick up when you want to have a cuddle or he's upset. eventually he'll realize mommy is still there.
My cousin's daughter was the opposite -- she LOVED being in her carseat and loved being in her crib or playpen. She'd cry when they'd take her out. And sometimes we'd go over to their house and she'd be asleep in the corner, in her car seat.
wow-- all really good ideas. the only thing that i can add is that the more you give into your son's demands, the more he will push to train you. the bottom line is that the crying and fussing is his command to you that you need to cater to his idea. being a new mom, obviously you instinctivley want to keep your baby happy so you do whatever it is to keep him/her quiet. after just a few times your baby has figures out ..."make that noise, get attention.." you are already rewarding the behavior (and so does 99% of the population) if you start now by creating a safe, interesting environment while you are doing house work, and make it around the same time everyday, your son will learn that durring said time is 'keep yourself entertained time'. you would be amazed at how fast they DO LEARN to play quietly while you work. even if your son fusses or even cries, you can still do housework. remember it is all a game of tug-o-war. you must set the limits as to where your line is...and that is it. (listen to me, i sound like dr. spock!) anyway, seriously, try it for a half hour everyday, i bet it will take a week. in fact my son even leaves my DH alone while he does some housework, he just knows it's "adult" time. good luck!
Married October 02
DS Caden Grey June 03
DS Morgan Keenan March 05
C-Section Aug 1st 08 with baby BOY #3
Thanks for all the great ideas. I have tried some of them and I am feeling less stressed already. Nyxin you are so right about the crying thing.. He looks at me and starts fussing and when I walk away he starts screaming but guess what happens when I pick him up... SILENCE. He would love for me to pick him up and carry him around with me all day but he is like 17 lb and my arms are to thin for that lol. They start hurting after 10 minutes of holding him with one arm and using the other to do things. I have actually started letting him cry it out at night to go to sleep. He is so tired and cranky yet doesn't want to be put in his crib and left alone that he cries. If I let him do it for 10 minutes he is out in no time. hen he wakes up at night (Twice now ) I can't help but give him a bottle cuz I feel like I am starving him if I don't. He used to sleep through the night so I don't know what is going on! I would think that solids would help him sleep through the night not wake up for two bottles! I feel like a zombie when I have to get up with him twice. Especially since no matter how long or little he sleeps he is up 8 am sharp like clockwork. Maybe it will pass.