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Old 09-21-2004, 04:44 AM   #1
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Who has 2 or more kids?

I have a 17 month old son. Due to have another (don't know the sex yet) in March. I need advise about sharing rooms and bedtimes. If you have kids who share a room, at what age did they start to share? How did it go? Is it hard for one to sleep if the other is up/crying? Also, if you have 2 kids close in age...how did bedtimes go. My husband works nights...so 5 nights a week I will be all alone for putting two to sleep. I am worried about how this will happen. My son has his routine which includes cuddling on the lap and reading books and a few minutes of singing and rocking. What do I do if the new one is always crying through this? I'm sure that the answer is that you just adjust...but I would welcome some advise on all of this

 
Old 09-21-2004, 06:26 AM   #2
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

My kids are 2,3,4, and 12. I would rather I had twins or triplets. At least then they would be doing the same things at the same times!!LOL We made bedtime very simple after a lot of work

Basically, due to their ages and the fact that the little one's are afraid of the dark... The three younger one's sleep in the same room and the oldest has her own room. The oldest stays up half an hour after the little ones.

When my kids were stairstepped like yours we put them to bed at different times. The baby will not have the same schedule as your oldest. What I did was to put on Baby Einstein or something like it for my older one while I rocked and fed the baby. He would sleep in 2-3 hour spurts so I would take that window of time to rock and hold my daughter. I put them in the same room from the beginning so the baby would get used to the noises of her and she would get used to him... This is my 3 and 4 year old I am talking about... Didn't want you to think I put the 12 year old in front of Baby Einstein!!LOL

We also had nights of quiet time when the baby just wouldn't go down. I would hold both of them on my lap in the rocking chair and we would rock. I would also put the baby in the swing to rock. Luckily, a child that is almost 2 won't have a clear dominance over toys and such so they can just be considered "theirs" from the beginning with the exception of a few items. I would set the crib and all of that up now so your oldest gets to see now that he will be sharing. I would do a lot of talking about the baby to your son and let him help you with what he can for their room.

We really have never had a problem with it because as far back as they remember, it has always been the two of them. They don't remember the time alone to get jealous. Good luck and Congratulations!
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Old 09-21-2004, 07:46 AM   #3
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

I love the idea about setting up the crib now. Are your three youngest the same sex? What affect did the baby waking up crying have on the others in the room sleeping? Did you have the newborns in the room from the getgo or did you do the bassinet thing for a while in your room and then move them into the "kids" room? Thanks for all of your help!

 
Old 09-21-2004, 08:43 AM   #4
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

I have 3 kids. 11, 8, 6 1/2. My two youngest are 17 months apart. I put them in separate rooms from the start, thankfully. One is a very heavy sleeper and the other is a very light sleeper. I can't imagine if they were together.

For bedtime, they both have to be in their rooms at the same time but one gets to read for 1/2 hour and the older one now gets to read for an hour. 7:30 they are in their rooms -during the school year anyway. That way the youngest is yelling about how the older gets to stay up later. Works for us!

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Old 09-21-2004, 12:17 PM   #5
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

My daughters are 3 years apart and my oldest slept like a log and still does. Most children are not awakened when the baby cries. Most husbands don't wake up either, it is usually the motherly instinct that wakes us up. It is a law in most states that you can not put a boy and girl in the same room after the age of 3 or 6 depending on the state. And that after the age of 10 for those of the same sex. I agree with the poster who said to feed and rock the baby to sleep first and then spend time with the oldest. Make sure that you have time for the oldest, because they are really going to need it and strive for it if they don't get it.

Last edited by SpeisFamily; 09-21-2004 at 12:20 PM.

 
Old 09-21-2004, 01:11 PM   #6
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

My 4 year old is a girl and the two youngest are boys. The 4 year old will go into her older sisters room once she is 5 but has totally worked for us now that they are little. What sex they are really only becomes a factor about 4 or 5. There actually are no laws as to when boys and girls should stop sleeping in the same room and it falls to parental judgement. Children are innocent by nature especially during the preschool years.

We put the baby in a co sleeper that was mounted to our bed in the very beginning. This was only done to allow the toddler time to adjust without being overwhelmed. It also made it easier to meet the night time needs of a newborn if you know what I mean They were in the same room when the baby was about 6 weeks old.

We never put our children to sleep in a totally quiet environment. I just knew it would be too hard to maintain. She woke up when he woke up for about a week. Finally she got used to it and they both slept well. I also used the baby monitor to ensure that he would not be crying for long periods of time before I heard him.
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Old 09-21-2004, 01:29 PM   #7
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeisFamily
It is a law in most states that you can not put a boy and girl in the same room after the age of 3 or 6 depending on the state. And that after the age of 10 for those of the same sex. .
?? There is no such law! Where on earth did you ever hear that? So if you lived in a two bedroom house and had three kids, where would the "extra" kids sleep? Didn't mean to horn in on a thread but I really needed to clarify for people who didn't know better. In your own house you are free to make your own sleeping arrangements. At least in the good ol' USA.

 
Old 09-21-2004, 02:11 PM   #8
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

That would mean you couldn't have more kids than there r bedrooms in ur house..lots of people would be in trouble!

 
Old 09-22-2004, 07:30 AM   #9
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

Actually I used to work at a hospital where one child was actually killed when it was smothered by another person in the bed because the family had 5 people in one bed. That is when the Police explained the laws to us all. State regulations dictate sleeping arrangements. State law prohibits children over the age of 5 of the opposite sex from sharing bedrooms. Yes, the state laws have laws on our homes, they can not be filthy, we must have food in the fridge, your child must have a room that is suitable and yes, children over the age of 5 of the opposite sex can not share a bedroom. Find out the law in your state.

Last edited by SpeisFamily; 09-22-2004 at 07:31 AM.

 
Old 09-22-2004, 09:19 AM   #10
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

I hate to say this but state laws do NOT regulate sleeping arrangements when it comes to this issue. I am finding websites where Dr's are giving advice to parents about sleeping situations. Not one of them has mentioned laws nor can I find them in the searches I have done. I am sorry that someone told you that it was against the laws for children of the opposite sex to share a room after a certain age but sadly, they were wrong.

There are all sorts of issues that present themselves with older children but that is not the case in this post. In the first post it was stated that children can not sleep in the same room after the ages of 3 or 6 depending on the state. Now the age is 5? Sorry, too much confusion and too little factual information for me
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Old 09-22-2004, 09:49 AM   #11
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

i have 3 kids and i live in a 2 bedroom place...right now my oldest daughter age 6 1/2 and my son age 4 1/2 share one room then me my hubby and the baby share the other...it is a big headache....i didn't worry to much about bedtimes when they were younger until my oldest went to school then i sent them to bed very early and let them watch one movie to calm them down in bed then they went to sleep sometimes...the problem with them is that if one isn't sleepy that one keeps the other kid awake....bedtime is such a fight for me everynight to get those 2 down it is very challenging....that seems to be when everyone needs to get a drink or go to the bathroom or come give everyone hugz anything to stay up for a little more...then they go in there room where they r suspostting to be sleeping i come in and they r playing....I think when the time comes u'll probley figure out when bedtime will be and what routine u will get them into....good luck...luckly for me i will be getting a 4 bedroom house soon

 
Old 09-24-2004, 03:01 PM   #12
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Re: Who has 2 or more kids?

As far as the state laws, perhaps the poster is thinking of laws regarding foster children. There are regulations for foster children.
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