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Old 10-02-2004, 05:25 PM   #1
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myladyshyanne HB User
Exclamation speak out! against Violent children

I recently read a thread on here labeled "kindergarden brat." And I want to share my story with you-well, not my story-but my son's story. I can't stress enough, the importance of acting- of not waiting around for the school to step up like I did (and I am so sorry for that). Parents don't want to admit their child is a "spawn of satan", and alot of times- the school doesn't want to admit it either.
My son is in third grade. When he was in Kindergarden he was assaulted by a child on the bus. He had bruises and broken glasses to prove it. My son is legally blind-so his glasses are extra important. He also had his hair pulled. The school/bus garage promised they would take care of it by putting cameras on the bus. It happened several more times-each time they made promises. When I was at wits end, they finally assured me the cameras were installed. Just in time for the end of the school year. The following year- the assults continued. Each time I questioned- they told me their hands were tied because the camera didn't catch anything. By the time second grade came around I was livid. The assaults continued. No one would help. They put my son and his assulter in assigned seats, but didn't enforce it- and he would leave his seat- and assult my son again. They swore they had camera's-which "didn't catch the assult because it didn't happen in the isle. I talked over and over again to the bus driver. I talked with the bus garage. I talked with principals. I talked with the superintendent. And I talked to the bully's mom on several occasions- who informed me here son was an angel and would do no such thing. It all fell on deaf ears (other than one time they did take away two recesses from the kid). Then one day in March of my sons second grade year, the bully got a freind and ganged up on my son. The "friend" pulled my son from his seat and threw him into the isle, slamming his head into a seat. Then they got him into another seat and the bully began punching my son in the ribs. For some strange reason- I decided to pick my son up early from a different drop point-just minutes after the assult happened. All I know to call it is mothers intuition. My son was in pain and crying. I questioned the driver- she said "well he kicked them back!" and acted appauled that I was upset. Everything was supposed to be okay-because my son faught back to try to get them off him. I went straight to the bus garage and demanded to see the tape-I was denied. They later informed me the camera was conveniently "not working" that day. I talked to the superintendent, who told me "sometimes kids are annoying to other kids- and it causes them to react in a violent manner." I reminded him of some of the bully's reasons before- like "he told a joke and it made him mad" and I told him there was NO excuse for violence-unless its 100% necessary for self defense. He then told me they would see to it the kid was punished appropriatly- the kid and my son would both get assigned seats, and that they would have the princopal talk to the kid and tell him not to do it again. I explained they already tried that route- and it was NOT successful. I took my son up to the police department and filed a report. The police talked with the super.-so the super. knew I meant business. The police also talked to the parents of both boys. I still did not feel it was safe though, and drove my son back and forth to school each day (which is a 8-10 mile drive each way). Finally, because of serious health problems, and the fact that I was due to go in for a c-section soon- I had to resort back to bussing. HOWEVER, I was still fighting it every tooth and nail, and had been talking to student rights advocates and a lawyer-a very good lawyer. And at the advice of that lawyer, I appeared at a school board meeting. In the meeting I explained the situation and what had "been done" by the school to correct it. They tried to say it had been taken care of- because they hadn't had any more reports of him assulting my son. I reminded them it was because I had been driving my son. The board was led to believe this was an incident between two second graders. Imagine their lose of words when I pointed out this was NOT between two second graders. The bully was in junior high. Yes, you read right. They allowed a junior high student to assult my son....over and over. Then I told them -although I didn't want to- I would have to have my son ride the bus again. And that I knew they would look out for my son- because if he was assulted again, I would file suit against the school, the bus garage, and the driver for failure to protect. Then I would file charges and suit against the child and his parents for assult. My son is in third grade now. And there hasn't been anymore assults. I did have to call and remind them about where I stood with them right after school started this year. My other son started Kindergarden this year, and I let the bus driver know the first day of school that the bully and his friend needed to be kept away from BOTH my children. On the second day, She sat my third grader in the front seat with the bully's friend, and my kindergardener in the other front seat with the bully. I reminded the super of where I was ready to take the issue, and it hasn't happened since.

I'm not happy with myself for not taking things into my own hands sooner. But I just kept hoping the school would do their job. I was wrong.

I think all to often parents and schools turn a blind eye to violence. The parent hopes the school will take care of it, and the school just doesn't care. And the parents with the assaulter pictures their child as an angel. Its tragic-it really is. I am just so sorry that it took me so long to stand up and say enough is enough.

P.S. The bully's reason for the last assult- was because my son was a nose picker.

Please, if your child is being victimized, or you know of a child being victimized, take a stand.

Thank You....
ladyshy

 
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Old 10-02-2004, 05:39 PM   #2
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Re: speak out! against Violent children

My sister has been a school bus driver for some thirteen years and I can NOT believe that the bus driver didn't take further action! That's unreal. My sister would have had that kid off the bus so fast his mother wouldn't have known what hit her. Also, here in Florida we have bus monitors that ride with the drivers so I'm sure that helps cut down on the violence. I'm glad you son is better and I hope he's not scarred for life. I had a fifth grader threaten me when I was in kindergarten and I remember it till this day, the school did nothing and I feared for my life in school and needless to say now...I don't put up with crap and will defend myself (fighting) at the drop of a hat. Good luck for school years to come.

 
Old 10-02-2004, 08:16 PM   #3
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myladyshyanne HB User
Re: speak out! against Violent children

My suggestion to the school on many occasions was to throw him off the bus. After the last assault, I told them that I felt both attackers should be kicked off the bus-and told them if the only way they could do it was to kick my son off too (for defending himself)-I would be fine with that. I want the kids to be held accountable- along with their parents- for what they did. I'm sure if they have to take time out of their scheduel to take and pick their kids up from school- they would think twice on thinking their children behave like angels-and they may try to correct their behavior.
Also the attacks on my son weren't the only things this kid did wrong. During one of my talks with the principal and head of bussing I found out he had gotten detention a week or two after the assault for something he did to someone or something else. I don't think the principal was supposed to tell me that though- because he dropped it real quick when I said "so he has a history." I think whatever he did- he must have did at the school though-not on the bus. I've learned that he doesn't have to be held accountable for things he does on the bus. We aren't lucky enough to have bus monitors here. They just have their "cameras" that do nothing.

Thanks for responding,
ladyshy

 
Old 10-02-2004, 08:30 PM   #4
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Re: speak out! against Violent children

I can not believe that the bully is still aloud to continue his education there. You would think he would have to at least go to counseling with a counselor there. I hate to say this but maybe that child has issues at home and is taking it out on people smaller than him. His mother may not be attentive or maybe even punish him too harsh. It doesn't give him reason to hit your son but some children don't know better because that's what they have lived. The school can only step in so much but they sure should be suggesting counseling for their family or letting them know that their son may have to be relocated to a different school if this continues. I'd definitly go out of my way to make sure my son did NOT attend high school or middle school with this child. Or I hope your son sprouts up over the summer and can defend his own. I don't know what I would do if someone child or not touched my son. I would flip out and probably not do the right thing...lol Maybe you can start a petition or something to get bus monitors on some of those buses. good luck.

 
Old 10-03-2004, 07:40 AM   #5
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Re: speak out! against Violent children

That is just sick you know?I do not understand the reasoning for not kicking this "devils spawn" off the bus?my son was suspended off the bus for something very very minor,when compared to what happened to your child.i mean, come on.When you have an ongoing assault like this(years???)where we live,this kid would have been kicked off the bus permanently after like the second time this happened.I am really sorry your son had to go through this but you did the right things.I just cannot believe how long this took for them to wake up and smell the coffee.But the fact that this kid is still able to ride the bus at all, is just shocking.unbelievable!!i hope things continue to stay okay for your son,this whole situation is just appalling!!If this kid acts up again,i would write a letter to the editor of your local paper explaining this whole situation,and the lack of response and the length of time this has gone on just to give this bus co, and the school board some bad publicity and to let the rest of your community know just what is happening on the buses that their children are riding to school.THAT would surely get people hopping.You are a really great mom.Marcia

 
Old 10-09-2004, 05:02 AM   #6
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Re: speak out! against Violent children

Here (Canada) with the regulations they have here in my particular school board area the bully would have been kicked off the bus a long time ago. They have very strict rules, kids have been kicked off the bus for less than what the bully did to your son. I firmly believe that strict guidlines need to be set up as far as school/bus violence is concerned. My son's school sends home a letter at the begining of the year, outlining the schools guidlines (his is not a bussed school, but his last school was), the concequenses of breaking those rules etc. We have no tolerence policy's here, and they work. My nephew (grade primary/kindergarden) had a little boy, same grade, or grade one i think, who used to pinch and scratch him on the bus, his mother told the driver and the little boy was put on notice, he would be kicked off of the bus if it did not stop, it happened once more the princapal was called, told the boy again that he would be kicked off it it happened once more....it never happened again. Aparently the little boy comes from a family known for that type of behaviour, his brother had been kicked off of the bus the previous school year for picking on other kids.
The old attitude of boys will be boys, etc is old and needs to be done away with, if schools don't properly identify and deal with bully's later on they will have more problems than him picking on other children on the bus. And like was previously stated in a lot of the cases bully's either have mental issues, or family issues that need to be delt with. You did good in threatening legal action against the school and bus company, it is their job to ensure your son is safe from the moment he steps on the bus untill the moment he gets home.

 
Old 10-09-2004, 06:33 AM   #7
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motherearth HB User
Unhappy Re: speak out! against Violent children

I'm a Grandmom with the same problum.My oldest grandson goes to a comminty school up here in Canada.It has a modified school systemThe childern start at 9:15AM and are let out at 2;45pm.They have 1/2 hour for lunch and a 10 min break which is different from class to class.The kids that are on buses are given before and after school activiesThis has helped alot except in my GS's class room(.Some of the kids are special need childern from learnind disablalties(sp?).This one boy is the meanist child have ever http://www.healthboards.com/boards/newreply.php#
EEK!known.He hits,bits,stabs with pens ans pencilshttp://www.healthboards.com/boards/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid =92#
Mad.Last week during lunch break him and 6 other boys chased and jump my GS ( they are all in Grade 4)This was when the teachers aid left for 1 min.When she walk back in to the class room she found these boys punching my GS.He was trying to fight back but as any victum he was trying to fight back.To make a long story short.The boys all have to attend every day a Bully to Buddy program.This is where they are workshops,visits from the R.C.M.P.The one child who is the trouble maker was given a week supension(sp).His mother had come into the school ranting and raving that her angel(devil spawn) would not have done anything.But Thanks to cameras and teachers who had seen the attackhe was caught.This bully has gone to school with GS for 3 years and it's been trying for both families.The child in question has been angry for many years.His parents seek no help with this boy.Yet the mother works with behavior problem childern.I guess it's as the saying goes that the childern of the cobbler gets thier shoes fixed last.Sorry about venting but as a grandparent or parent we have to protect our childern and others.Also my GS spent 2 days in detention because he was trying to fight back.Which I never thought was right but zero tolerance is zero tolerance.http://www.healthboards.com/boards/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid =92#
ConfusedAll the GS said he had time to finish his book.Sad that this world has come down to this.But if we look at the world around us.It does not surprize me at all
In Love and Light
Rareearth

 
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