I have been to a thread about embarrasing and funny pregnancy (or after) moments and had so many laughs, I thought we could all do with a little more. I thought this thread may get a few chuckles as well. I'm looking forward to hearing everyone else's stories too.
Last week I came home from work and found out my husband had made dinner plans for us, so rushing to get our 2 year old daughter ready as well as myself, I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. My husband had just finished showering and was drying off when our 2 year old marched in and after about a split second said,"Daddy's gina!" (jeye-na) I almost choked on my toothbrush, the combination of our daughter wondering where Daddy's vagina was, and the look of complete horror on my husbands face was just too much. Needless to say I needed to complete a brief anatomy lesson with our daughter.
This reminded me of a similiar story a friend told me recently:
My friend mentioned that her 1 1/2 year little boy old was helping fold laundry one night...the next morning when her husband was getting dressed her son said,"Panties" I guess his Daddy didn't like that too much.
And one more, another friend of mine asked her 1 1/2 year old daughter if she wanted a snack...to which her daughter replied,"Bi*ch" my friend was horrified that her daughter would call her that and was racking her brain trying to figure out where she would have learned such a thing...the next day my friend figured it out. The word was repeated when she placed a bowl of GRAPES in front of her daughter...turned it it was much more innocent than it sounded, it took her daughter a couple of weeks after that to pronounce it correctly.
Well, that is all I can think of today, I may think of more but I'm anxious to hear your memories.
Last edited by kierrasmommy; 10-03-2004 at 11:08 PM.
Well. mispronunciation reminds me of a friend's story. His little boy was about 2 years old and was obsessed with motorcycles. However, when he said "motorcycles" it sounded more like as**oles. So they were at an amusement park and as they were leaving there were a bunch of motorcycle guys hanging around out front. That's when the 2 year old proudly declares "Bye Bye as**oles!" The dad almost died and thought he was going to get his butt kicked for sure.
I was looking at old family videos the other day and came upon one when my sons were 8 and 6. We were attempting to hold a garage sale - consisting mostly of old toys. I hadn't advertised at all and we were banking on neighborhood kids to come. As I'm taping I'm saying, "here's [Aron] and [Josh] patiently waiting for customers." Well, then you see my youngest walk up to the camera and say "We're not patiently waiting, we're ****** off!"
If you open the door even a little bit - the devil will fling it open. Keep it closed with prayer.
When my son was three, we were walking thru the store shopping, and I went into the female isle and tossed some pads in the cart. Curious, he asked me what they were. I didn't know what to say, so I quickly told him they were special mommy bandaids. Well- a short time later, I was in the fence row picking rasberries-bare footed of course- when I stepped on something very sharp (a nail I think). I screamed in pain, and checked my foot and noticed ir bleeding. Next thing I know my son is running out of the house with an open maxi pad in his hand, telling me not to worry, he got me one of my special bandaids- then he had me hold up my foot so he could put it on for me. My husband found it quite amusing.
Haa haa haa, that reminds me of my niece. When she was about 3 she was upstairs playing, but after a little while and not hearing anything I went in her room to see what she was up to...she had taken about 5 or 6 maxi pads and stuck them all over her bedroom window (which faced a main street)...and said,"Stickers!"
My kids are always saying and doing the nuttiest stuff. I think I could write a book!
When I was 7 months pregnant for my son (5 yr old), my 9 year old son-who was 4 at the time- went to work with me. I hurried along with him doing my work, and all the sudden the baby shifted and pressed my bladder. I rushed him along towards the bathroom, explaining that I had to pee because the baby was sitting on my bladder. To this day, my kids are convinced that boys have weiners and girls have bladders. When I try to explain to my boys-yes my 9 year old has shared his knowledge- that they have bladders too- they yell "I am NOT a girl."
Ok i got a good one for you all.....lastnight my husband was drinking a glass of red juice after supper. HE is only 8 keep in mind ok.....he than said " dad dont drink that, that is the blood that mom pees out in the toilet" both my husband and i died laughing. I than got myself together and sat down beside him and said "ok, it is time i tell you things" "when a women gets to be around 13ish she is old enough to have a baby. She than gets her period which means her body is ready" My son than perked up and said "oh I get it, a women gets lots of sentances on her body with a lot of periods and at the end of the month the periods fall off of the sentances" Well blow me away that was the funniest thing that i have ever heard. HE is only 8 and i think that the "Birds and the Bees" talk will stay in the closet for some time still. Well hope you all got a good laugh as we sure did.
Hi again, you may remember my original post how our daughter was wondering where her Daddy's vagina was... well there are new developments to the story. The other day while I was bathing her she said, "Kierra's gina", I replied, "Yes, that's your vagina", then she said,"Kierra's PENIS", I couldn't help but chuckle and had to explain to her that only boys have penis's, girls have vagina's..she thought for a second then said, "Yeah, gina"...considering we only talked about penis's twice the day of the original episode, I'm surprised over the period of a week she would remember....kids are such sponges when it comes to learning.
I love these stories, My three year old daughter was asking me about my grandfather clock, I said "thats mommy's big clock." She later went to my mothers house and said mommy has a big c*ck!!!! needless to say I had some questions when I returned!
My daughter Raegan will be three soon. Its funny to listen to her. Every time we call her princess or sweetie she yells "NO! not seetie-or NO! not pincess-I Raegan." She also tells us this if we call her by her full name. And if we're really lucky she will yell and tell us to move out! LOL If she doesn't get what she wants she'll start a fake little cry. And when I ask her whats wrong, she'll say "I cryin mommy-I cryin." So I'll humor her and say "No way- you are?" and she goes "yeeeeeeeeessss-I cryin'."
Also, one night I was watching a movie- a very STUPID movie-called Dogville-for the record- don't rent it- their idea of a stage, is chalk lines drawn on the floor. When its light out, the walls are blue-when its night-they paint them black....oh its so awful! Anyhow, my 9 year old son came out to watch the movie with me. Five minutes later he looked at me and exclaimed "Ya know mom- this movie is just too over rated!" I busted out laughing and told him he was right. P.s. The town dog-is also a chalk drawing on the floor....
My 2 yr old son loves the ladies. When we were at the pool the other day he sat down right next to one, put his arm around her shoulder and proudly said "I go poo poo in the potty and I get a jelly bean!" Bet you've never heard that pick up line.
P.S Eeyore is also pronounced E-*****.
DD born 5/25/05
I have 4 sons and no daughters. We are a very open family and noone gets to go to the bathroom alone. The kids just barge one in. The little ones are 6, 4 and 3. My 4 year old was asking where was mommy's penis? My 6 year old explained to him, "Mommy doesn't have a penis, she has a hairbun!" I almost fell over laughing!
OMG these are all so funny! I have tons, but let me think of a few good ones....
My son just started kindergarten this year, and I went to meet his teacher after the first day....She was saying how adorable my son was, and how funny he is, so when I said "Why, what did he do?" (I was scared....very scared, lol) she said "I called for him, I said ALEXANDER..... and he didnt answer me, so I said again, ALEXANDER....and when he didnt answer me the second time, I went and tapped him on the shoulder and asked him why he didnt answer when I called for him, and he said "Look lady, my name is ALEX! You spell it A-L-E-X!" so she said "Yes I know, but Alexander is your whole name, and people call you Alex for short" and he said "Yea, well my mom and dad dont call me Alexander unless I get in trouble, so I prefer if you do the same!" Lol, it was sooooooooo funny, omg!
My husband has a big belly, and my 3 1/2 year old had asked him if he had a baby in there-He kindly explained to her that he didnt have a baby in his belly etc....Well we went to the store one day, and she told the cashier "My daddy has a baby in his belly!" and my husband said "No I dont! I told you that honey!" and she said "Well I'm not stupid! You do have a baby in your belly!"
This happened three years ago......We used to have this really cute Schwan man named Ray....It was the kind of cute where friends and relatives came over and hung out to see him-yah, that kind of cute! My husband always heard us joking around about this guy- so he always would tell me that the only reason I spent so much, was so he'd (Ray) keep coming back. And he would always tell the kids that the schwan man was my b-friend. When they called the name dad-he'd say "he'll be here thursday!" He made the comments in a joking manner though- It became a big family joke. Anyhow.....one day we were heading to Bay City to deliver a donkey, and a Schwan truck pulled onto the highway in front of us. My son (6 at the time), yelled out "Look mom- it's your boyfriend....and he ALMOST hit us!"
My five year old is very descriptive. One day when we were going up north, he said "Mom- your beautiful like a big fat juicy piece of pepperoni pizza!"
After I had my daughter, I tried the whole nature feed method. One day my son grabed up a bottle of the milk and announced that he wanted some boob juice to drink. I kindly took the bottle and offered him cows juice instead.
After I had my last child- he proudly announce to the world at the check out counter that his baby brother sucked his moms boob. OOOOOH joy! Talk about embarrassed!
I've also had the same son point to my chest and asked "mom, is that your boobs or your fat roll?"
And too cute- my daughter just started waving at the computer....seems this little guy in the smiles area was waving at her, so she waved back and told him "hi-funny guy".
Another time, we went on a trip-and my boys kept fighting. So I told them each time they hit one another or called a name, they had to pay me a quarter. If they both were fighting at the same time- it would cost 50 cents each. I figured this was a good idea, because they both had a stash of money in the back- and they wanted to spend it on toys. WRONG! My son-who was four at the time, started tossing a bunch of money at me. I explained that he didn't do anything yet. He said "I know....but thats for when I do."