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Old 10-10-2004, 05:33 PM   #1
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1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

Hi I have a little girl that just turned 1 and am about to have a little boy in 3 weeks I am really freaking out how I am going to cope as my daughter DOES NOT like going to bed I have kept her in the same routine since she was born...Dinner, bath a little playtime, bottle then bed....But every single night she crys How can I get her to like bed ? My baby niece goes to bed peacefully every night, she loves bed ???? Also at least 5 nights a week she wakes up in the night and the only way I can get her back to sleep is putting her in bed with me.... I actually dont have a problem coping with her sleep patterns right now, but am so worried how I will cope when I have a new born waking me up all hours of the night etc I cant function on absolutely NO sleep and my partner isnt exactly a hands on dad so I will be having to cope with this on my own ...Any advice would be great thanks
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Old 10-10-2004, 05:50 PM   #2
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Re: 1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

Your not going to like it but quit putting her in your bed! If you have about three weeks left that should be enough time to let her know you mean business. They are VERY smart.She knows that if she wakes up and keeps crying that you will pick her up and satisfy her. My children are now 4,3,3. I had to put my son in his own room at eight months old to get ready for the new babies. OF course he didn't like it. When she cries just go in there and pat her on the head and tell her you love her (in a whisper) and walk out. After about ten minutes of crying, go in there and reasure her you are there but are NOT going to pick her up. She will be ticked off! But she will eventually get the hint. She should be staying asleep or calming herself down in about a week. Good luck. IT will be worth it when the new baby is here. Good luck and post anytime. We are here to help.

 
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Old 10-11-2004, 05:35 PM   #3
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Re: 1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

soul catcher ia absolutly right.....you better get this done or it is going to be intresting in about 3 weeks
goodluck
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Old 10-13-2004, 02:19 PM   #4
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Re: 1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

HI,
We have 4 kids.
#1 kid is 7 now and STILL has trouble with bed time. He fights it EVERY time.
#2 kid, always a pleasure to put to bed. Enjoys sleep.
#3 kid is like your daughter. We keep her in the living room until she falls asleep and put her in her bed. About 4 times a week she wakes up and wants in bed with us.
#4 kid, likes to sleep but hates to fall asleep. He has to cry himself to sleep, he is 1.

Our kids share rooms, 2 in each room. Each room has 1 big kid and 1 little kid in the room. We have to do it this way b/c the 2 big kids argue too much if we put them in the same room. It is hard for us to let the 2 small ones just cry b/c the big kids wake up and then we have 4 kids awake instead of just 1 or 2.

I don't know what the anwer is. We don't let #3 get in bed with us anymore. When she gets up, I take her out to the living room sofas and she sleeps on one and I lay on the other. I know that is strange, but at least she is not in our bed and we all get some sleep.

#4 is 1 and still does not sleep through the night. I try to let him cry until #2 wakes up and complains. Sometimes #4 will fall asleep before his roommate wakes up. If #2 wakes up he goes in our bed and me or my husband hit the sofa. Mean while #4 is crying until he falls back to sleep. I figure we might as well get him on the right track of going to bed on his own. #1 and #3 are hard to deal with at bed time b/c we did not institute the cry yourself to sleep policy on them.

So, I guess whatever works. When #4 was born, I would just let #3 get up with me and feed the baby and she would fall back asleep during the process. When #4 went back to sleep, I put them both back to bed at the same time.

Good luck, its hard. I don't think I have slept a full night in 8 years!!!! Some people say let the cry, some say don't.....we have done all the methods and have come to the conclusion that doing whatever it takes so that they will eventually go to bed and stay there is best. So if your child goes to sleep after crying for how ever long, stick with that. Eventually the time it takes gets shorter and shorter. Maybe you can get her on the pattern before you new arrival. Don't get in the mess we are in with the 2 little ones disturbing the house every night.
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Old 10-13-2004, 08:36 PM   #5
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Re: 1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

Hi thanks for the replies
Im actually not really worried about bringing our baby girl into the bed, the way I figure it, if we are all getting to sleep then great What I am worried about is that I am going to end up with a kid thats like 10 years old and still has to sleep with mum and dad if you know what I mean....and then I worry well what if this little guy is the same, are we going to have 2 babies in the bed with us every night LOL
Im not sure if what I am doing in regards to getting her to sleep at night is wrong or not....What I do is put her down with her bottle, and then normally when she has finished her bottle she will start wingeing......Some nights she falls asleep reasonably quickly, but other nights she just gets more upset...I normally dont let her cry too long, about 5 minutes....Then I go in and pick her up carry her around for a bit and then put her back down again when she is happy again......The most I have had to do that is maybe 3 times and then she goes off to sleep....So am I complaining for nothing ? Like I said Im not too worried right now, but when this little guy comes along its going to be really hard......
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Old 10-18-2004, 04:28 PM   #6
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Re: 1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

yes if you continue to let her sleep with you, eventually you will have problems...

i was 12 years old before i slept in my own room!!!
that is not an exaduration.....i slept on the floor of my parents room....

i do not let my DD (who is 1) sleep with me ...i only have a few times if she was sick or teething and in pain or had a fever.

she just knows when i put her in bed that it is time to sleep, she fights her sleep terribly some nights but will sleep no where but in her crib and i think that is because that is where we make her sleep and this is where she feels comfortable.
where as if you let them get comfy in your room.....well thats where they will want to sleep.
what about you and your DH eventually wanting to be "close" if you know what i mean...cant get to close with a little girl in the middle. this could eventually put a strain on that as well. which tends to make a daddy really cranky!
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Old 10-19-2004, 03:42 AM   #7
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Re: 1 Yr Old And About To Have Another Need Advice?

I also say that you need to get her out of the habit of sleeping in your bed. I have a co-worker who is at her wits end because 4-5 nights a week her 7 year old is sleeping in their bed. She admits it's because her daughter spent the 1st year of her life in their bed and that she couldn't let her daughter cry. Now she can't get her to stop. I think that you need to stop picking up your daughter when you comfort her (the hardest thing to do in the world) You are giving her exactly what she wants. She knows that if she keeps crying you will come and get her. Like other posters have said, let her cry for about 10 minutes. GO in and rub her back/belly tell her it's ok and that you love her. Then leave. Go back in 10-15 minutes and do it again. The 1st night is the hardest. After that it gets a bit better night by night. She really should get the hang of it in the next three weeks. And it will be so nice for you to have one less thing to worry about. Good luck! Keep us posted.

 
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