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Old 10-26-2004, 05:37 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 112
mother of six HB User
Frustration: Life With 4 Teenagers!

It's seems that parenting has become very complex these days. Things I would have never even thought of saying to my parents for fear of being knocked across the room, seems to flow very easily out of our teenagers mouths. Granted it is partially my fault because I have allowed conversation to flow quite freely in my home for the past few years. I am recently remarried with 3 bio children and 3 stepchildren. Our oldest four are 15, 14, 13 and 13. Our home is very chaotic at times. Our issue is with my 14 y/o daughter and his 13 y/o son. They are both very sarcastic, miserable and very difficult to talk to. We have a nice home, give them alot of love, they have friends and quite a bit of freedom. We try to discuss any issues they have and work on a resolution. 13 y/o son has gone to counseling and when he gets there he tells the counselor everything is great . It's so frustrating. 14 y/o is overloaded with high school and cheerleading but doesn't make any attempt to talk to us or go to counseling. I told her that she needs to go to counseling to get to the bottom of the issues and she said to me "uh, how about no !" Needless to say my blood pressure rose quite a few points after that statement. My husband and I try very hard to support these children especially because of our new situation but our approach does not seem to be working. Does anyone have any advise on how we should go about communicating our concerns and our true desire to help our children?
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Old 10-26-2004, 07:23 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma-USA
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Ksavage HB User
Re: Frustration: Life With 4 Teenagers!

Hi CC

I wish I had some advice for you. But I am a 1st time parent of a 22 month old daughter. I can only wait for your problems to invade our house.

I do have to agree with you on the statement you made about us speaking to our parents that way. I would have never even thought of it. It was nothing for my dad to thump us on the head or even yank us up & bust our buts in the middle of TG&Y (remember those) if we whined for a toy more than once or even mis behaved in any way. If a parent chooses to punish in that fashion these days, they are looking at possibly loosing their children.

I think it is a good thing to let your children speak their mind and have their own oppinion about life. They should be treated as individuals and not simply told to be quiet, just because they are kids. I feel that gives them respect & they need to be shown respect in order to give respect.

BUT.....that just might be a bad thing too. We were not aloud to disagree or even state our true feelings to our parents. We were taught to keep our mouth shut and "go with the flow". So maybe with that frame of mind the children do not talk back, agure and all the other things the teenagers of these days do & say. It all just seems like a catch 22 to me.

There has to be a way to balance it all out equally, we just have not figured it out yet. BUT teenagers are going to be moody and know it alls I guess. I was....were'nt you? I just kept it to myself and knew I better wait until I was out of sight before I rolled these green eyes of mine.

I hope you get some helpful info from some of the other parents here at the boards. & Let me know if you find the secret weapon!

Good luck!

Kim
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Old 10-28-2004, 04:56 AM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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mother of six HB User
Re: Frustration: Life With 4 Teenagers!

Thanks Ksavage! I appreciate your positive words . And the laughs . Parents seem to "skip" over these issues when you tell someone you are expecting a child . All we can do is show our children how much we love them and at the same time not allow them to come up to our level or even rise above it. We need to remain their parent and we seem to have pushed that responsibility aside. We need to get beyond "it's all about me" attitude and reinforce that this wonderful journey called life is all about "us"! Best of luck with your new child!
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Old 11-01-2004, 09:16 PM   #4
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hannasnana HB User
Re: Frustration: Life With 4 Teenagers!

Hi Mother of six,
My heart goes out to you! I remember those days with the teenage daughters. Boy am I glad I have 2 out and 1 to go. My first 2 were in public schools. The last one we homeschooled......I must say life has been
much easier. Especially with the mouth. We do have our days..........and infact I just had one of those nites.

My daughters have their own kids now........and I can't wait for payback.... my grandson is a 10 off the chart for having a strong will..........(I can't wait until hes a teen.....he he he)

Its sure not easy being the parent of teens. So heres some (((((HUGS))))
to YOU from another mom...........

Nana

 
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