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Old 10-26-2004, 12:22 PM   #1
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hayley0610 HB User
Another night of head shaking!

well i had to shake my head about my daughter AGAIN last night! my youngest is 8 and she gets very frightened at certain things. so my eldest daughter, the one im having porblems with (12 yrs old) decides when my youngest gets in the shower to remind her of a commercial for a horror movie thats on t.v where the girl washes her hair in the shower and feels something in the back of her hair, im sure some of you have seen this. Well my little one starts screaming i ran into the bathroom thinking the water was burning her and she was hysterical!! she REFUSED to get back in the shower and i had to run her a bath. i felt so bad for her!! she is so sweet and NEVER does anything to hurt anyone or their feelings and sometimes goes without to make other people happy. i took my eldest by the arm and took her to her room and sat there calmly and said why would u do that? you couldnt say hey when ur done ur shower lets paint our nails, or how was school today? i told her its like she loves doing this to people and gets off on it in some sick twisted way. she never spoke a word only looked at the floor! i didnt know what else to do so i shook my head and walked out of the room to go and console my other daughter some more! on another note my mother calls me yesterday and wants to know why she is grounded all the time and that we pick on her and thats why she is always grounded!! i told my mom some of the things she does and she told me to ignore her instead! i told her we have tried that but when she is interupting other kids lives in the house thats not fair at all! she still said we should give her a break!! i should mention she is my moms "fav" child. its really none of her business and ive told her that in some ways but it doesnt matter she says she is the way she is cause of how she gets picked on!! but i cant just ignore the naughty things she does.

 
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Old 10-26-2004, 01:34 PM   #2
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Ksavage HB User
Re: Another night of head shaking!

Does your mom live close by or is she far away? Does your daughter know that she is the favorite & that Garandma feels "sorry" for her? This just might be a small part of the problem.

It sure does not sound like there is many dull moments around your house. I had 2 older brothers when I was younger and they loved to torture me! Their favorite thing to do was to hide a potato until it was all mushy and had a bazillion arms and legs growing......(can ya smell it ) and one would hold me down and the other would wave it right over my face....sometimes they would mash in my face....& other times they would just hold it really close. Or they would sit on my chest and would put my arms under them and would have a string of spit from their mouth and would suck it up and sling it down RIGHT to my nose! It was sooooo nasty! My mom worked full time and my dad was never home, so they got to do what they wanted when they wanted. & I knew better than to tell on them. I was going to be alone with them again in a few short hours. I did get my oldest brother a few years ago though. He lives in Hawaii and my husband & I went to visit. I did one of their favorite things tio him that they used to do to me. In the middle of the night, I went in the bathroom and a greased to the toilet seat BIG TIME. Then I had to tell my husband not to use that bathroom. He thought I was being so childish! He never had to put up with this when he was a kid. WELL......eventually I heard my brother cracking up and cussing at the same time. I almost peed my pants and hubby finally found the humor in it. At least I was smart enough to do that to him RIGHT before we had to get on the plane!

Anyway......I am not sure why your daughter is doing these things, I wish you luck in finding the answer. I still think that you should try the Dr. Phil method and take everything away from her. Everything BUT HER BED! I know what a pain that would be, but it might do her some good. I am sorry that I can't remeber what all you have tried, but it sounds like whatever you do is going to have to be drastic!

Good luck & keep us posted!

Kim
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......and that's all I have to say about that.......

 
Old 10-27-2004, 07:35 AM   #3
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: Another night of head shaking!

Sounds like your oldest is craving attention. I am NOT saying that you are not giving her enough attention however. I just know that most of the time that kids act out it is because they want people to pay attention to them even if it is negative. And perhaps she is also resenting your younger daughter. ie...my sister is sooo sweet and can do no wrong, but I am always grounded and in trouble. Yikees, the joys of a pre-teen. It sounds like you are talking with her about what she does and she doesn't want to tell you what's going on. Maybe if this keeps up she needs to talk to someone else. Maybe there are some other problems going on in her confusing hormone driven 12 year old life and they are manifesting themselves in the form of being cruel to her sister. She will probably hate the notion of seeing a counselor, but it may be the trick. It sounds like she really needs to get some stuff off her chest.

Last edited by Kiera1595; 10-27-2004 at 07:36 AM.

 
Old 10-27-2004, 08:20 AM   #4
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hayley0610 HB User
Re: Another night of head shaking!

kiera i agree with some of what u have to say but she has been like this since i can remember like im talking before she could walk! and i too was just like her, to a tee and to this day i dont know why i did it . i didnt desire attn or anything like that i really thought i was being funny! and she is just like how i was so i do know where she is coming from i just dont know how to get her to stop, just like my mother didnt.

 
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