I know its a bit early...but my mother in law has been shopping early and the catalogs are coming in...so its gotten me thinking about Christmas gifts for my daughter. She is 11. She is our only one, my husbands daughter from a previous marriage. This is our 5th Christmas. IN years past we've always gotten her quite a bit, maybe too much. We've always gotten her nice things, and she is glad to have them, its all stuff she picked out or we know she'd like. My question is- how much do you all usually spend on your kids for the holidays? And how do you decide how much? Or do you just buy them what they want? Do you go by dollar amount limits, or do you go by number of presents? Its just something I am curious about. I think we spoil her, and she doesn't always take care of the stuff she gets. I just want to find out if we should limit more than we have, or if we are "average."
Thanks in advance for sharing your opinions!!!
I figure out how much i can spend and divide it up evenly between my 3 kids. I try to keep the number roughly the same (especially since the 2 oldest can count, lol). But with my kids my mother, father and brother spend alot on them so i don't need to spend a small fortune on them thankfully. so i lucked out with what i actually have to spend. But i know growing up my mother always tried to have us recieve the same number of presents, she used to get really stressed out if one of us had one more than the other, lol. Then i had a friend who's mother would probably spend $1000-1500 on each of her kids, i don't know if it was that much but i know they'd get expensive presents.
Since you only have one to worry about look at her list, get her to tell you or write down the most important things to her and go from there. If you don't set a limit you can blow your budget pretty quick. Just base it on what actual money you have, what you'd have ot put on credit etc. I don't know what i spend, it vary's year to year depending on how much money we have (we have horrible credit so credit cards are out of the question). What i do with my son is if he doesn't take care of what he has he does not get another one. He got mad one day and threw his gameboy....it was 2 years before he got another one, i told him that if he was going to break his things he wasn't going to get something to replace it. IE, if you buy her a stereo or something like that, and she abuses it, breaks it etc do not buy her another one untill she can show you that she can take care of her things. Not having something they want is a great motivator for kids.
Thanks for the info. One of my issues is the mistreating of stuff she has. She likes the American Girl stuff and I have gotten her quite a bit of that, which make for kind of expensive Christmas gifts, in my opinion. She doesn't keep the clothes together, they are scattered all over her room in different corners and crevices, even though she has a doll armoire for them. It's empty. It drives me nuts to see her treat them like this, and she still wants more and wants more furniture for the dolls. I have told her if she doesn't take care of the stuff she's not going to get it. So maybe I will just not get it for her this year, even though its on her list, and if she asks why she didn't get any this year, I'll remind her . would that be mean, or the right thing to do? I don't even know if it would make a difference in whether or not she cleans the stuff up better...but maybe I will this year. I dont want to spend the money on this stuff if its going to get ruined.
I would give her some warning before denying it to her. Tell her that you are starting xmas shoping, and that what you buy will depend on how well she takes care of what she has. Let her know she won't get any more toys just to leave laying around on the floor, that if she's not going to put things away she will not get any more. Another tactic to try rather than say no is if it's just a mess than give her a day or two to get her room in order (under the bed, closet, all toys picked up and put away, give her a bit of help organizing if she has a lot of stuff, you can get some great containers these days, but she does the work), let her know that from know on if she cannot keep her things picked up and put away without constant reminding than the toys will be taken away. Get a box (one you can lock if you think she'll try and sneek it out) and put whatever is on the floor inside it, keep it for a week, when you give it back it is to be put back right away, anything found on the floor or not put away is gone, no second chances, when she's done with something or at the end of the day before bed her room is to be cleaned. Make sure she has a place for everything, it's easier to keep organized when you know exactly where things go. This has worked with my kids, not only do i take things away if they aren't picked up, but i make sure that they do know where things go to make it easier for them, it can be overwhelming for them when they see a huge mess and don't know where to put everything.
But let her know that she has to take care of what she has or she won't get anymore, this includes having her room a mess, because just that alone will cause her to lose things, break things etc.
Give her a chance to keep things tidy and put away before you decide not to give her anymore, but do what you feel is right...