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Old 11-16-2004, 07:30 AM   #1
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danimal15 HB User
pacifier at 16 months

What's everyone's opinion on this? My younger son is 16 months old, and never seems very happy without his pacifier. He sleeps with it, which is OK in my book, but he also wants it during the day, and sometimes has crying fits if we won't let him have it. I really hate how he looks with that thing in his mouth, and I think it could be a reason why he's been kind of slow to start using words. (My older son never had a pacifier and was talking in sentences at 16 months). My wife says it's no big deal, and thinks I'm being too hard on him by taking it away. But I've read that the pacifier shouldn't be used for children older than 12 months, and I'm worried that the longer we wait to take it away, the harder it will be (my nephew wouldn't give his up till well after he was three). Any suggestions? Is my wife right? Am I making too big a deal out of this?

 
Old 11-16-2004, 08:27 AM   #2
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

I understand. My son is 19 months. I too agree that it is no big deal for him to have it at night, but I hate the way it looks when we are in public. He's pretty good about not having it during the day. Like, if he doesn't see it, he doesn't realize that he wants it. I say start weaning him off of it during the day. He'll throw a fit at first, but they throw fits about everything they don't like right? Just when he wakes up in the morning take it away and it's gone all day. I bet in a few days he'll be OK. Just keep it out of sight (out of mind) I only use mine during the day for emergencies (like grocery store meltdowns) or when he finds where I've hidden one. Now I just have to figure how to get rid of it at night lol

But if he's really having major issues about not having it, take it easy on him. They're still babies..yours isn't even 1 1/2 yet. And I don't think it has too much to do with his speech. In most families I know who have 2 kids the younger one always starts talking later than the 1st. I think the older one does all the talking for them! Really. I think if pacifiers are our biggest problem we should feel blessed!

Last edited by Kiera1595; 11-16-2004 at 08:29 AM.

 
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Old 11-16-2004, 08:36 AM   #3
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

I think that if a child has a pacifier in his/her mouth all of the time than it can inhibit normal speech. Because how can they talk if they have it in their mouths. I know my daughter, 2nd child, the only one of my 3 to have one, was slow to talk, i don't know if it had anything to do with the pacifier. She was 2 when we took it away from her, she had probably 5 of them (we'd lose one, buy one, find them etc), one by one we threw them out untill she was down to one, then the last one went, for her it wasn't a huge deal, after a day or two she never asked for one again. I think by age 2 you should start thinking about getting rid of it, and for most kids it is hard. I agree with the weening him off of having it durring the day....it should be limited to nap/bed time only. Make sure there isn't any where he can see them, put them up high in a cupboard or something. If he starts asking for one try to distract him, play a game, play with a toy, sing a song, look out the window, he may throw a fit, but it's more likely from him not getting his way than actually needing it. I believe they say after a year it's more out of habit than actual need. If you give in when he's crying for it than he'll start to learn that crying gets what he wants. Once he realizes he's not going to get it he'll settle down. Unless he's stubborn like my 2 year old, lol...she wants what she wants when she wants it and won't take no for an answer. Just stand firm, and you and your wife should be on the same page as far as it's concerned, different rules with mommy and daddy will only confuse him.

 
Old 11-16-2004, 08:50 AM   #4
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kierrasmommy HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

Just thought I'd share how we got rid of my daughters...I had her weaned off them during the day already, I did that by putting them in the far corner of her crib where she couldn't reach them as soon as she woke up and would tell her it is only for bedtime, she was fine with that, asked a few times but was too busy playing to really stick to it. When I wanted to take it away at night I started by sneaking in a few hours after she had gone to sleep and I would take them out of her crib, that way she had the comfort of falling asleep with it but she wasn't using it the entire night. This worked but sometimes if she woke up she'd want it and I would give it back. The last step I did was when a friend of mine had a baby, I had our daughter pack up all her bottles and pacifiers and we went to visit the baby, when we were there I had my daughter give the bag of pacifiers and bottles to the baby because "she was a big girl now and the baby needed them more than she did"(I had called my friend and let her know my plan ahead of time) That night she woke up once and asked for it but I reminded her that she gave them to the baby and she was a big girl, the baby needed the bottles and sucky's now. She got over it very quickly. It was much easier than I expected it to be. One thing I do know is my nephew was a big pacifier toddler, my sister had a tough time taking it away and eventually gave up, my nephew had it until he was 2 or 3 and even when she did take it away he compromised by using his thumb, he has a bad overbite problem now and to this day still sucks his thumb when he watches TV or sleeps...he is 19years old now, he doesn't do it consciously and has done everything to try to stop including putting tabasco sauce on his thumb. I have heard that pacifiers can effect the way teeth grow in, and I would guess that if there is a sucky in thier mouth throughout much the day they probably avoid talking more than if there was nothing in there...but just a guess, I could be wrong, your pediatrician may know better...I would definately say don't do it cold turkey, you need to do this gradually like Kiera said by eliminating the daytime use first, then decreasing the night use, then taking it away. Goodluck!

 
Old 11-16-2004, 11:47 AM   #5
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chezlux HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

Hi! I just got rid of my twins' pacifiers this past week. They are 26 mths old. I really feel I waited to long, they were very attached. I started by limiting the pacis to bedtime and nighttime a few months back. During the day I just distracted constantly. Soon they knew it was for bedtime only. This past week the pacifier fairy visited them and gave them a surprise in exchange for the pacifier. (i think this mostly works for toddlers rather than babies). Anyways, if I would have known how challenging it would be, I would have started much sooner. Ofcourse with twins, everything is a challenge. ha ha
Good Luck!

 
Old 11-16-2004, 12:28 PM   #6
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PeggyHarmon HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

Both my children were paci babies until they were nearly 2. It's a comfort zone and attachment. I allowed them bottles mostly at night until 2 also. One child was talking in full sentences at 9 mos. she wasn't but walked at 9 mos. So each child is different. Everyone complained to me they had a bottle or the paci at nap time. They didn't have it all the time and I didn't stuff it in their mouth to keep them quiet like some parents I knew would. 2 of my husbands nieces sucked their thumbs till way into teenage years. They were taken promptyly off bottles and pacifiers at 12 mos. that was just to soon in my book...and I think it contributed to their need to suck naturally. I thought it was worse when I saw them with a thumb in their mouth at 13-15-18 yrs old !!! Neither of my children grew up thumb sucking, or smoking and that was told to me to. If you don't take that away from them they will grow up to be smokers!!!! I have a stepgranddaughter who is 15 mos and barely takes a bottle or suck on a pacifi. But she's got a sippy cup in her hands all the time. My doctor's children breast fed till they were almost 5 years old !!!! Now that was a little much...but each of his kids are now Dr's and one is working in the White house!!!! Sooooo maybe he knew something I didn't LOL. Start practicing taking it away and hiding it till your child misses it. Then don't deny it...steadily weaning

 
Old 11-16-2004, 01:00 PM   #7
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lillypad HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

Only one of my kids used the paci....she threw it away herself one day when she saw her baby cousin had one!Saying, that's for babies! As far as talking, whenever she had something to say, she simply removed it and spoke! She didn't take a bottle after I weaned her at 13 months (not my choice, I had to take some medication that wasn't good for her). I think the paci provided her what she missed from the breast, although she did use it before weaning.

Personally, I don't think other people really think much about it, and guess I don't care if they do! I agree with another poster who mentioned the thumbsucking...if I had to make a choice, I would choose the paci.
It serves a purpose at 16 months. And not to be flip about it, but I don't know anyone who still used a paci when they were in grade school!

 
Old 11-19-2004, 07:32 AM   #8
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danimal15 HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

Thanks for the suggestions and advice, everyone. Good news, by the way. Evan (my little 16 month old) was without his pacifier almost all day yesterday and didn't seem crabby at all. Then he went to bed and fell asleep without it and stayed asleep all night (he did make some noise around 5:30 a.m. but we ignored it and he fell back asleep and slept another hour). No guarantee we can make this happen again (falling asleep without paci) but we're going to try.

 
Old 11-19-2004, 11:00 PM   #9
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mommaboyz HB User
Re: pacifier at 16 months

My oldest son was 3 when he stoped taking his pappy. I see nothing wrong with it all. It doesnt mess there teeth up. Even the doctors around here say that now. If they have it its for a reason its for security. Whats the big. deal. I remember going into stores and hearing people making little comments It made me so mad I let a few know it. It kinda goes along with he use to carry dolls everywhere at 2-3 years old they were mine from when I was a kid and he got attached to them. i saw nothing wrong with it but other people sure did. I told them if we let more little boys play with dolls we may have more men who take care of there kids. they shut up to. lol
Sorry I got off the topic. When I did try and get him off it every few days I would cut a tiny piece of the tip off and I told him a mouse was getting it at night. then finally it didnt have the same feeling when he sucked on it and lost intrest in it.

Hope this helps some

~SANDRA~

 
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