Re: 2 toddlers being mean what do I do?
if you don't think he can understand a time out than how do you expect him to understand spanking? All he knows is that mommy is hurting him.
I would definitly put him in time out. At his age he won't stay on his own so it needs to be a playpen or high chair, something he's secure in (their rooms are not a good idea). Leave him there for a few seconds, (maybe 30, not long). I know my 2 year old can understand that she's not alowed to hit. Say things like owie, not nice, etc...tell him to stop hitting, if he continues put him in his time out. Somewhere completly alone, no toys etc. Don't talk to him, just let him cry it out. When you take him out say something like are you ready to play nice etc.
Teach him things like gentle, if you have a pet use that, take his hand and pat really softly and say gentle, nice things like that. If you don't have a pet use a stuffed animal. Eventually he will get the idea.
At 2 kids just don't understand how their actions affect others. He's not mean, he just doesn't know any better at this point. Kids need to be taught empathy and compassion.
As far as the new baby is concerned, get a baby doll if they don't have one...treat it as if it were a real baby, hold it, change it's daiper, etc....let him help out, hold it etc. No, it's not the same as a real baby, but it will help him get used to what it will be like, the kinds of things you will have to do.