3 year old is whining and regressing - HELP - Parenting Issues Message Board

******** · 12-08-2004, 01:01 PM

My 3 year old son is the youngest of 4 boys. I have had a very difficult year this past year with chronic pain and medical problems. We (me and the kids) just returned from Boston after being there for a month and a half while I sought medical treatment. Now my youngest son is so whiny and clingy it is just driving me nuts. He is also regressing and saying things like "I can't walk, carry me". All of the kids have been through a lot this year and seen mommy in unbelievable pain on many occasions, crying and sobbing. All of them are acting out in different ways, but this one is by far the most annoying. Should I give into him and carry him or just ignore it? I am just at my wits end with him. He cries and whines about everything. He always was a bit of a whiner, but it has just gotten so much worse lately. i know he needs a lot of reassurance that mommy is getting better and give him lots of attention. I just need some tips on how to stop the whining. Any input would be appreciated.

Amy

Momx2in04 · 12-08-2004, 06:52 PM

Wow - 3 boys! You certainly have a handful. It has been my experience with my son (3 1/2) that it should be called the Terrible Three's...my son was a lovely 2-year-old but when he hit 3 it was like a demon took possession. I don't know if you have seen the same pattern with your boys, but a lot of his behavior might have to do with age. I don't have any sage advice, but I have seen with my son that giving in to the whining only reinforces bad behavior. It helps quell the whining when he is given firmer rules and discipline. I hope that things get better for you soon and that your health improves. Good luck!

Kiera1595 · 12-09-2004, 04:44 AM

Like you said, it is probably coming from what your son has gone through with you over the past year....but, I say don't give in. The more you give in the more he's going to want it. He is old enough to walk on his own. You know the difference between him being exhausted and cannot walk and the fact that he loves you and being carried is fun. Just tell him that you love him and you can't do it anymore. Unfortunately you'll have to put up with more whining for a bit...but you need to call the shots, not the 3 year old. I hope you're feeling better. Take care

MandyAnne26 · 12-09-2004, 06:41 AM

At 3 it's really hard to have a converstation with him about what is going on, but i'd give it a try if i were you...let him know that you know he's sad and worried about mommy etc. I would also suggest do not give in. When he acts like a baby tell him that mommy and dady will not listen untill he's ready to be a big boy. When you give in it just encourages the behaviour. i think what you need is a combo of love and talking with him, reassure him, and just not giving in at all. Just make sure he's getting attention other than when he is acting up...the attention he gets when he acts like that is also reinforcing the behaviour.